We all make mistakes in life, the hard part is accepting those times, learning from them and finding a way to move past them, to find some sort of peace with them so we can finally move forward. Yes that is easier said then done. Your intent was Honorable but now your paying the price. Been there myself just different circumstances yet painful all the same. If your able, try and see a counselor/therapists to guide you through the process of letting this go. Hope that helps a little, Blaine

I am thinking of seeing a counselor later on once I move out. I don't want my parents to know what happened. They don't know and I'm keeping it that way too.

I'm only guessing at what this entails, "sexually harassed", "pictures", but I can tell you this, for what it's worth. You are only 17, this little faux paux (guessed at the spelling) is miniscule in comparison to what else you will do in you next 80+- years of life. I'm not diminishing it, just trying to help you put it into perspective. Consider it a lesson learned and put it into the past where it belongs. Try talking about it (even in a mirror) until you can discuss the entire thing in a nonchalant fashion. At that time, you will have it all in perspective. I' living proof that good people do dumb things. LOL So go easy on yourself OK?
Hugs,
BurPy

BurPy, is right. Now i is so close to you, that you cant get proper perspective of it. The feeling of shame and anxiety of it, are overpowering. They will have a wave effect, for when things with a similar feeling resurrects them. hitting again when a feeling is the same,a trigger.
I understand you don't want your parents to know, but if they love you unconditionally,they will understand if you ask for a therapist for help.
Many teen centers may have councilor referrals available to you. This has happened to others too, so there are programs now or it.
It falls under Cyber Bullying/abuse.
I hope you check into these options, your parents need only know you are going to a teen center in this case

But we are here for you none the less. Strength in numbers to help.
Gentle hugs.
Jewells

Thanks. But my mom and I have never gotten along. and My dad isn't home a lot so I am not close to my parents. When I don't tell my mom something I get in trouble but when I do finally do tell I get in trouble for it. So that's why I don't tell her anything.

I don't know if you are the same one a while ago who posted, but I think part of the reason you are not moving on with this is that you haven't told your mom. Part of the reason why you did what you did is that you were craving attention and that should have come from your mother.

I'd sit her down and tell her this. Part of the reason you can't tell her is due to the lack of a relationship you have.

As a 17 year old, your mother has the right to know this. Make this about your relationship with her, NOT about what you did.

I'm willing to bet that even though it may be tough, you'll feel better coming clean. Some of the worst feelings in my life have come from hiding something.

I want to tell her but she won't ever forgive me. Yes I am the same person.

I remember your story, and I'm really sorry.

Playing off what somebody else said, above, I'd guess we all have our "bad decision" stories, even if those are not the sources of our trauma.

But they usually have consequences, and we hope to learn from them.

Trying to find a therapist with whom to work on this makes a lot of sense.

As to telling your mom, well ... I've known lots of mother-child relationships where I could see that being a good idea, but I've also known quite a few where that revelation would cause much more harm than help.

You can definitely keep talking to us. Even apart from the traumas that gave rise to our own PTSD -- as I say -- many of us are older than you, and ... I would guess ... could promise you that you DO move past the guilt of the bad decisions made in our youths.

I hope you will, too ... whichever path you choose.

I also believe -- sort of to Dell's point -- that we NEED to learn from our histories, in order to prevent making the same mistakes in the future. Whether with or without a therapist, I think it IS important to figure out why we did ... what we did ... when we did it.

It helps us to do better next time.

I wish you peace, health, strength, and improved mother-daughter relationship, and ... just a little bit of time off (and more, as time goes on) from the guilt that's tormenting you, right now.

Get therapy. The fact that they were gone and came back means that you need some help. You should get some for you and your mother, anyway. It's not good that you can't talk to her. Maybe you could come clean with a professional working it out with you.

If I tell her then ill get in hugs trouble and she will never let me hear the end of it. Which is what I want to avoid. I will get therapy once I move out. I don't want the counselor I talk to, to get my parents involved.

Even as a teen Violet, a councilor can't reveal unless you agree to it. The longer you let this "Stain" remain, the harder it will be to get over it. Many here know this. You are young, of an age where your independence is in a high growth pattern. If this is held off, you may lose the ability to grow past it. Stranding you at your mom's, for a long time because the fear builds, hiding from any growth for you. Get the help, while it's still relatively fresh.

We are here, at least some of us, because the "stains" were so embedded from not addressing them, or not remembering them in time to get the help needed to overcome them. Also the programs in place now, didn't even exist for us.

So it may be hard, but you need a one on one talk( even unknown to your mother, just to start) before you hurt yourself beyond what that jacka@@ , did. Letting his actions determine the amount of life you can live.

I don't mean to seem so harsh, but I am a mother too. No mother wants her child to feel damaged. She might even blame herself for not preparing you for what cyber stalking/abuse is. Because when she was your age it didn't exist. So she may sound angry, but some of the anger, will be for her own lack of protection of you.

Ride it out, she will blast, then get calm. We as Mother's know well when our angry She-Bear reaction to one of our cubs being hurt, can be explosive. But then we go to work in "Mother fix it" mode.
After the calm sets back in , she will help you get what you need, counseling, education and comfort...because she loves you.

You need only be strong enough for the first step, asking for help.

Some explanation f what I am talking about.
http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Boys_Girls/

What do you mean hurt myself beyond what "he" did to me?

Set your brain's coping mechanism's, putting blockade in how your brain, functions under stress. It is a chemical change that happen often in childhood trauma victims, that re-expeince new traumas, CPTSD.
Your brain copes with stress by different ways as you get older, some like me have to work around the problem of coping, Because we couldn't learn it when younger. Due to others incidents adding to my already overtaxed safety zones. Determining what was normal reaction to anxiety, against an abnormal reaction to anxiety of traumas. It built up a blockade, not letting anything be processed to an extent. Crippling emotionally, because I disassociate a lot, I have trouble being in the moment of some real emotions, even good ones.

It hurt me as a human.

O. I understand now. What do I do?