Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I've gotten to the point where I'm really disabled, almost bedridden often and it's incredibly saddening and heartbreaking to long for normality so much. Because of my ptsd symptoms, I can hardly do anything physical, just walking, standing, going places etc is extremely difficult (due to both physical and mental pain, exhaustion, disorientation, and disassociation). So I don't get to go out often with friends, and get left alone. Sometimes I go, but I have to get a wheelchair often and still I can't nearly keep up with everyone else. It feels so lonely. And there are a lot of nonphysical things as well. Reading, writing, making art (I love all kinds of art!! especially sculpting), watching movies and shows, pretty much everything. Aside from the symptoms I listed previously, I can't read the books I love (I used to be a huge reader, books are really important to me) and watch hardly any shows and movies due to triggers. Music is really hard too, I can't listen to a whole lot and it's absolutely terrifying when someone turns on the radio or puts on their music, because there are so many triggers everywhere. I keep fighting all this as hard as I can, and keep trying to live a normal life and do everything normally and be optimistic but it keeps rapidly getting worse. I feel so alone and helpless and isolated. I want to go places and be with my friends and do things and watch the shows I want and read the books I want, I want to get out of bed everyday and do normal things like chores and eating and moving without being in extreme pain.... Does anyone else have this problem? Advice would be helpful. Thanks so much!!
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Okay, okay. I behave now...
Yes, autumn, I know that depressing frustration of not being able to do those normal (for me), every day things. Hurts like a big cat!! I reserve the right to cuss, cry, moan, declare God to be an acronym for "Gnarly Old Dickhead" and whatever other venting strategy that comes to my creative mind. Denying my emotions never seems to get me anywhere but in trouble, so I let 'em vent...
Once the venting has released enough emotional pressure that I can think again, I shift the focus from what I want to how to work with what I have.
Gentle support while you look for what works for you, autumn. You are not alone.
autumnpajama, Pete Walker's tips, which I only found out about after coming here, really help me, too. I have stage 4 kidney failure (there are 5 stages) along with PTSD. I almost went on disability in 2011 on the initiative of my boss, but was able to get more functional with those Pete Walker tips and keep my job. It's a challenge, as I wrote here in the "Prayer request-have the jitters" thread just today.
I use a cane to get around, and can see graduating to a wheel chair. I'm in a lot of pain, but can't take pain meds because my kidneys are too fragile. Don't know if I'll be able to work then, but I just try to take it a day at a time. It makes me want to do a good job even more, because I don't know how long I'll work. Glad you posted, autumnpajama, so you could get support that spills over on to me and others, too.
LillyPotter, Thank you bunches for letting me know about the psychologist, i'll definitely look into his website. I'm so sorry you've also felt so many similar things, no one should have to go through that, but I also appreciate your empathy so much and I really glad I've found this group. And yes, that is my service dog! Well, will be. He's in training while I fundraise (family can't afford it). His name is Teddy and I'm really looking forward to having him. I was actually considering starting a discussion about PTSD service dogs, would that be a good idea? Or is there one already?
LoveAlice, I am definitely working on being more open with them... I have a really hard time trusting them and feeling safe around them, despite them all being incredibly amazing people. They do try to accommodate me and help me have fun by doing what they can, but I know it's really hard on them since I'm so dependent on the assistance of others. Especially my partner, who is my closest friend and only one I currently feel 100% safe around, they do their best to hang out with me in ways that make me feel okay. But we share a friend group and I tire them out badly, so often they need to spend time with our friends without me so they can also have fun and take care of themselves. It's a tough situation. I have had two therapists in the past but both didn't work out, so my mom and I are currently looking for a new one. It's taking a while to find one that takes our insurance but hopefully soon.
I know it is very hard but you have come to the right place. There are a lot of different kinds of people here who have a lot of health and recovery to draw on. It takes time to get to know people so don't get discouraged. We are here for you. I'm glad you found us but wish you didn't have to have come here. Welcome.
It would be a good topic about service dogs many people here have them including myself. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. Also since you mentioned triggers if you see TW in front or behind a title that means trigger warning. Hope this helps. kk
So when the PTSD slammed me into the ER and bed in early 2013? Yeah. I have had a really hard time with TV, movies, books, music---ARGH. And I miss being out and about, too---both mentally and physically. So much that I cry.
But I let myself cry. I focus on my can-dos. I got into nonfiction because I knew it was unlikely to trigger me. My hubby knows my major triggers so he'll warn me about TV and movies if he can, and if I do get triggered, I just hit the button and focus on something majorly soothing....
I feel like the whole human race can trigger me sometimes. (A lot of times, actually!)
I listed major themes of what triggers me. (E.g., violence.) Then what music groups to avoid (my sister's faves, long story). I love my iPod, I downloaded soothing sounds so I can just "block" reality if I need to.
It's hard as eighteen he**s, but don't get too focused on "normal", okay? My "normal" as a kid was being abused. My normal now is having a loving hubby and not being able to do as much physically. My normal in a year might be something else. Just gotta take it as it comes.... Mind you, I'm sorta zen on this b/c I just took my meds and had a decent night's sleep. Catch me next week, I could be ready to chew brick and spit nails.
Soft support,
Leo