to the best of my knowledge, i am a natural born rager. it's hard to be certain of my birth nature because of the criminal chaos i was born into, but all evidence suggests it is possible, even probable. delayed early development and a hyperactive metabolism are fairly strong evidence, all by themselves.

methinks a new body of memories is trying to emerge. if so, the trigger is the relationship between my two foster daughters, ages 8 and 5. the elder is so artistically inclined that we have nicknamed her "frida" in honor of frida kahlo, her favorite artist to date. she wears the nickname proudly. she is also quite the songbire. her voice is incredibly diverse. the younger is not quite hyper, but highly energetic. i see uniforms in her future, be they athletic or military. well? ? ? she could easily turn mad scientist. there is no experiment this girl won't try. i'll bet dollars to wishes she won't try the desitin hair conditioner experiment a second time. it took two weeks of hard scrubbing to get that stuff out of her hair. i have to admire the way she took full responsibility for the failed experiment.

the body of memories which seem to be emerging is of "cry bullying" where siblings, schoolmates, etc., would goad me to explosive measures, then cry to authority figures about their helpless victimhood. "frida" is looking like quite the cry bully to me.

am i making sense? thoughts? experience? opinions? unsolicited advice?

today i leave the mood icon squarely on "okay." whatever is going on, it is responding well to therapy tools. we're gearing up for the new school year and both girls are excited to be getting back to their school friends. big bro is going into 6th grade and quite nostalgic for the simplicity of his old elementary school. our school district has an "intermediate school" for 5th and 6th grade.