You can turn it in to the police.

I just think that whatever you do should be your own free choice, not something they nudged you into. Do you want to reward their efforts to establish control over you?

I'd flush it down the toilet. I have a 71 year old brother-in-law who has been a heroine addict most of his life. Not a pretty story. Obviously, the suicide angle didn't work out for him, but he sure mastered the self-flagellation angle. The most painful show in town?

Continued support while you figure your own, Zoe.

Continued support

I was the pallbearer in the funeral of a close friend who O.D.'d. Just yesterday I was looking at the newspaper articles mourning his passing. The best and most talented friend I ever had, a jazz musician with classical training. It wasn't a romantic artist's death, just pretty squalid in the end.

It's been years, and still I miss him terribly. Every time something good happens in my life, I have that flash of an impulse to call him up and tell him. And then in another flash I realize all over again that he's gone and I feel sick at heart.

Carrying his coffin on my shoulder to his burial site was an unbearable burden I'll never get off me. So you'll have to forgive me for being in too much pain on this topic to be a sounding board, Zoe, I'm afraid.

I've seen heroine do bad bad things to people. It will definitely make things worse. I say that without judgement, I say it with care. Definitely flush it.
Continued support

If they sent you heroin, they did it to control you and see you die. OK? Simple. Pimps on the street do it. Sexual predators do it. They're sending you heroin to get you under their control, b/c they are the supply and you are the demand.

With kindness... Flush it, get to a meeting of some kind, turn them in and get to a meeting of some kind, but do *not* use it.

What Leo said.... sending major (((hugs))) your way......

what they said, more hugs (((((Zoe)))))

Can you report that to the police? It would make a good case. Don't let them control you! You have to keep fighting. We're here for you.

One of my 2 sister's been an addict/junkie for 12 years now, since she was about 14, started doing heroin at about 19, it's not romantic, even an overdose isn't a pleasant death, a lot of choking on your own vomit, major sickness during and after, she cries, screams, fights and steals every day she's free to get more heroin at this point, and now she's in jail, her teeth have all fallen out, she's never held a job, her skin looks rotten and she's somehow both skinny and fat, she's 27 now.

At 1 time doing it, it can grab hold of you, but don't let it, it's not a good path, it's destructive and disgusting, you can be stronger, please don't go down that path, don't let them control you.

The fentenyl is the calm death part. Makes you drift off to sleep. Just enough heroin to stop the PTSD symptoms. You can't know the relief of being PTSD symptom free after 40+ years of suffering from it. It is such a huge relief. I don't want to go back to the torture of the PTSD symptoms. I don't see a way around it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpHiFqXCYKc

As you said Zoe, "Symptoms" the Traumatic events leading to those symptoms usually have to do with loss of control or grooming to do something with in another's control.
I only see them trying a new trick, short for technique on you. From you response it sounds like you are happy in the trap.
If the package came across state lines? It a Federal charge, and maybe your ticket to freedom as well as validating what you have been trying to tell the authorities about them..

This is the big choice time, do you control you or do you hand over control to your __________. PTSD freedom in that way means you stay drugged and pliable., I'm not sure that's freedom.
Support, J.