Honestly, arfie, social champions weren't the immediate idealist/realist problem whose promises I had to deal with. My home lived off of the earnings of a faith healer idealist maker of promises who was ultimately kicked out of his church and caught by the government.

How I myself hung on to my faith and became a hospital chaplain after such a thing is a miracle in itself even I don't understand. Seems to me the idealist/realist problem is centuries old, dating back at least to don Quixote, the dreamer/fool character in world literature, so I can feel what you're saying.

Part of my problem might be that I started meeting social reformers when I was in elementary school. To a child, a road to hell is a road to hell whether it is paved with noble or evil intentions. The rapid cycling intentions of pop psychology are especially confusing. Crusaders have changed the name of my condition radically, too many times to count over that 45 years of therapy. As an elder, I now have entirely too many names for every ^it^ in my psycho baggage car. As a child sex trafficking survivor I too many ^its^ in my strictly personal psycho baggage car to deal with multiple names for every ^it^. ^It^ is confusing enough without the political corrections.

They were going to be the 'boss' no matter what.... I remember all of the cliches only to well.... The little phrases used when the 'punishment' was to be handed down.... They actually pop into my head on a regular basis.... I wish I could wipe them out.... I still find them very upsetting at times and that alone bothers me.... That these stupid words still get to me
Big hugs for you both......xo

There always seems like there's someone waiting to save you, if you will only just drink their kool-aid first...

Sorry that you had to go through that, Patti

I don't know exactly what they are, but i can feel them. (it hurts to capitalise letters - so i'm going back to not doing that:)

when i was in the hospital recently, i could hear some of them being tossed about in a cruel manner referring to people with ptsd, by people who obviously had no ... compassion at that moment in time, and other mental illness. it was quite a shock/painful - a lot like so many of us get/got from drs. i don't know why it surprised me, but it did. i suppose i always hope we've come farther than that - especially people in the medical field. dreamer

except for here, i find myself turning to animals, dogs and chickens in particular, for understanding and comfort.

i'm sorry too, Arf

i think i missed the social reformers part of life, seriously. i recall my older sister doing things, staying up all night having long discussions about important seeming things - but i needed to go outside and sleep. AHAH.

part of why i went outside. they were loud. pounding on the table loud. right outside my bedroom door. i didn't listen to the words, was trying to shut it all out. they drank and shouted and pounded. sometimes the police came adn took her boyfriend away, dragged him out - black panther guy. i heard that much. there was always way too much. it was scary. he would throw his gun. after i saw THAT happen i wasn't in there any more before they got loud.

but there was so much more ahppening. my brother, one of them, was always coming in tw insane on whatever combination of drugs he got his hands on - he'd just slam down anything and everything and then swagger in and - who knew?? cook, argue if my dad was home. smash and break things, the guitars if there were any - guitars : (

all i took in was the wardrobe really. some of the music. i wasn't above anything or anyone, just so alone, so completely alone. nobody my age made any sense, all still acting out the play they were doing in the 3rd grade. the adults were missing. the teenagers were pregnant or nuts or really scary. i was still one of the little kids at that point and surely dissociated more often than not.

i won't have known anything about these.

my heros are here. xo