Sorry you're lonely. Good people are hard to come by.

Oh XF,i'm so sorry you are feeling so alone....

can you think of any ways you can self nurture right now?

i am keeping you in my thoughts,XF.

Take Good Care.

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Wish I had more than a cyber-shoulder to offer. I believe this one calls for a flesh and blood shoulder, but. . . I am offering what I have to offer at the moment. There is nothing trite or silly about the need for touch, however simple it is. Considerable research has been done on the human need for touch, starting from the very moment we are born. The need to breathe is simple, also.

When I first started using support groups in the 70's, AA/Alanon was pretty much all that was available. My aversion to touch was pretty close to absolute. Seeing all these strangers hug one another at the end of a meeting sent me into full, hysterical flight mode. Keep your slimey digits off my body, perv. One of my shrinks called that, "Attachment Disorder." The first rounds of accepting those hugs at the end of meetings were painful on more levels than I have words for, but they sure made a difference in my openness to healing.

Good luck convincing me there is anything silly about the need for flesh and blood hugs.

Gentlest of on-going support and prayers while you work through the transition, XF. Wishing you lots and lots of extra self-care and patience.

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I cried the first time my 3 year old daughter really hugged me at a time when I was crying. Until then, everyone had always turned away. I was told I was a black hole more times than I can count.

Then one day...I felt filled. And I basically never feel the "need" for a hug, and only rarely ever "a longing" for one. I guess I wasn't such a black whole after all...

In any case, my heart is sending out hugs to you. I have no advice on where to find it, but I try to give it when I can, Patti

Coming home from abroad is really hard when your soul had made some attachments there. I know, as a missionary kid I was raised in South America and did my college in North America and stayed where the diploma could lead to work. No disloyalty to North America intended, but my people were in South America and still are. All of my high school friends, people who know my heart and my soul.

I go back every year, and I often muse that my North America/South America emotional conflict is only in complete balance ever as the airplane I'm on crosses the Equator. Otherwise it tilts one way or the other.

We're here to help you decompress through this transition, XF. Your suffering is real, it's like when scuba divers get the bends when they surface from the deep. I know how painful it is. Lean on us, we can help you through. Much support to you.

I am sorry you are going through this and sorry that you feel so alone. I understand what it is like to have really close friends and then move away from them. It is so very hard. There are good people out there who will care for you. The relationship my not be exactly the same as the one with your friend in China but it takes time to build new friendships. You will get there. Sending hugs your way.