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Waiting is the hardest job on the planet for me. Given the hyper-active bio-form in which my spirit currently resides, this should not be a big surprise to anyone. I guess that is why my unprovable companion (God) has given me so much of it. "Practice, practice, practice," seems to be the refrain being whispered to me.
My reflex this morning was to hop out of sleep and get my coffee on the road. NO WAITING FOR ME TODAY." The quiet voice whispered, "Check that reflex. Practice, practice, practice."
So, instead I did my usual wake-up routine. Again, "Courage to Change" gave me a tasty morsel to chew and I am sharing it here. I am allowing myself the edits which make it more directly pertinent to me.
"Many of the roads we traveled in the endless wandering of my childhood were steep and mountainous. As a child, I was often afraid that our car would swerve too widely and go over the edge. I used to take hold of the rear door handle and try to prevent this. I was too young to understand that my actions could not influence the path of the car. Yet I often take a similar approach to my adult fears and persist in futile actions.
It helps me to accept what I cannot change and change what I can. Although I can't control the way family dysfunction has affected my life, I can't control another person, and I can't make life unfold according to my plans, I can admit my powerlessness and turn to my unprovable companion for help.
When I am the driver, the responsibility for steering clear of the road's edge is mine. It is up to me to take my recovery seriously, to work on my attitudes, to take care of my mind, body and spirit, to make amends when I have done harm -- in short, to change the things I can.
Today's reminder
Sometimes the only way I can determine what to accept and what to change is by trial and error. Mistakes can be opportunities to gain the wisdom to know the difference."
At the risk of stimulating lectures from the "Caffeine Free" crowd, I now admit that I typically have 2 or more cups of coffee as I watch the sun wash the electric shadows from the Light Age landscape. This morning I think I will have that second cup on the road.
My reflex this morning was to hop out of sleep and get my coffee on the road. NO WAITING FOR ME TODAY." The quiet voice whispered, "Check that reflex. Practice, practice, practice."
So, instead I did my usual wake-up routine. Again, "Courage to Change" gave me a tasty morsel to chew and I am sharing it here. I am allowing myself the edits which make it more directly pertinent to me.
"Many of the roads we traveled in the endless wandering of my childhood were steep and mountainous. As a child, I was often afraid that our car would swerve too widely and go over the edge. I used to take hold of the rear door handle and try to prevent this. I was too young to understand that my actions could not influence the path of the car. Yet I often take a similar approach to my adult fears and persist in futile actions.
It helps me to accept what I cannot change and change what I can. Although I can't control the way family dysfunction has affected my life, I can't control another person, and I can't make life unfold according to my plans, I can admit my powerlessness and turn to my unprovable companion for help.
When I am the driver, the responsibility for steering clear of the road's edge is mine. It is up to me to take my recovery seriously, to work on my attitudes, to take care of my mind, body and spirit, to make amends when I have done harm -- in short, to change the things I can.
Today's reminder
Sometimes the only way I can determine what to accept and what to change is by trial and error. Mistakes can be opportunities to gain the wisdom to know the difference."
At the risk of stimulating lectures from the "Caffeine Free" crowd, I now admit that I typically have 2 or more cups of coffee as I watch the sun wash the electric shadows from the Light Age landscape. This morning I think I will have that second cup on the road.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Thanks for sharing... yes, waiting is an anxiety-maker for me.
Safe travels on roads both real and metaphorical.
I'm still bad at relaxing but better than I was.
I don't know if this applies to you but that's how I relate to the thread.
Just thought about it when you mentioned recovery here. As he says, the waiting is the hardest part. Trial and error indeed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpG09PenZt8
Tonight I am the best kind of tired. The tired of energy well used.
Hubby has been caffeine free for almost three years now. I was for several months - right until daughter moved back in in Aug... Now, with no $$ in the budget this week for espresso and a hatred of coffee, as of yesterday I am again caffeine free....