sorry this happened to you. i think a therapist will be a great start for you. They can probably offer a lot of options for both concurring your fears once again and some ideas for sleep. Fear is one of my biggest causes of sleep loss.

i hope it gets better for you soon.

Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry! I really hope the therapist can help you. I just started therapy, today I had my second visit. I don't know if it is helping or not, but I am hopeful.

Are you able to use any sort of workout machine? Like a rowing machine or weights, etc? Even driving to the gym and working out might help. You can focus on your exercises and it will help keep you in shape while you recover.

Are you able to spend time with your horses right now? Maybe just getting back in the barn could help even if you aren't able to get back in the saddle just yet?

I hope you heal quickly. Both physically and mentally.

Ow!!! I would be kicking myself for being the Klutz of the Koop on top of the rest. Of course, kicking myself only seems to leave me new wounds to heal, so I am trying to kick the kicking myself habit.

Ay-yay-ay!!!!

Inside my own skin, the place in this story that so often seems to lead me to the next disaster in the sequence is, "I made myself put anything negative to the back of my mind." The shrink wrapping I like for that tendency is, "Repression." When I repress all those negatives, they seem to concentrate into a time bomb awaiting its trigger. Sharing those negativities as I become aware of them seems to vent the volatile accumulations. I don't have to grandstand them. Just vent them. Sometimes they vent quickly and completely. The ones that still explode on me, anyway, are at least on my radar so that I can get the emergency response team to the scene quicker and better informed. In Arf World, fewer surprises and consultations are better at the scene of an emergency.

I, too, like to set goals for myself. When I can't meet my expectations for myself, I shoot to be a good sport about it. Sometimes life has a better idea. Other times I just have more studying to do before I am ready to fulfill that dream without breaking something.

Just me. . .

Hope the Monday appointment goes well. Also hope you will feel free to sort those negatives here instead of repressing them. Be gentle. I've heard rumors that you cannot beat the fear out of a frightened horse. For sure that is true of all the critters in my life. No horses, but. . . So many critters and so little yard!!! Love my critters. The need for gentleness in the calming of fear seems true of homo sapiens, as well.

I winced reading your post. I'm so sorry! I don't know what to say. After my car accident, it was a long time until I could get back my confidence and drive or be a passenger comfortably. I'm glad you're working with a therapist. And I have faith that you'll move past the 'just words' phase and be back with your horses. Hold on to the power of persistent work and time as healers.

Ouch and double ouch. I also agree, trying therapy might really help. The sooner you address these things after a trauma, the better. (I know. I waited 20-30 years.... Yeah, not good.)

My therapist is great at finding ways to help me through panic, anxiety, and into sleep.... Imagery, breathing, etc.

They can also help you plan how to re-introduce yourself to things like the horses, driving, etc....

I've got medical PTSD as well as the Other PTSD, and I know. I had to relearn to walk, and am still terrified to leave the house without a cane just in case my bad nerve twinges and.... (fill in unrealistic fear here). *sigh* Therapy helps a *lot*....

Gentlest support and healing to you

wow my sister is an ex horsewoman and she has had some bad stuff over her dealings over the years hope you can get better one day at a time fear and sleep loss yes i take a little something to help not a bad idea

I'm so sorry.

While your story -- awful as it is -- sounds different from mine, or many of the others, here ... it sure sounds like you've come to the right place.

The symptoms sound only too familiar.

One thing that's helped me a lot is the understanding that PTSD is basically an anxiety disorder.

So ... anything that's healthy, and that tends to reduce anxiety can be a good way to manage the symptoms (while you work with a therapist).

You may just want to Google it (like: ways to reduce anxiety), and see what appeals to you.

It's fiercely hard. You already know that. PTSD literally changes the way your brain works.

But you CAN make it better, little by little.

I wish you peace, health, and strength.

I do see my horses every day and I am beyond thankful for them. Spending time with them is the best parts of my days. They hated my wheelchair.. But are slowly warming up to the crutches.

I'm counting down the hours until my appointment Monday. My entire life I have struggled with depression and anxiety. For a few weeks I just thought those two were feeding eachother. Honestly the only thing that made me come here was a random ptsd test Pop up add. It led me here. I read some info provided by DS used their tool, found a therapist, and made an appointment. Now wait. I have anxiety. How can I explain what is going on to someone else? It would be like having to explain every hour of my life. Any tips? Do I make talking points? Do I explain what i think are panic attacks? I'm stressing about seeing a doctor about stressing out. I'm afraid I have so much hope resting on this appointment I will be disappointed because there are no immediate results to my problems. All I know is that I'm out of my league.. I want help. I need sleep.

Also, I have been having this weird hallucination (for lack of a better word.) when I am walking or using my leg I have the sensation that it's swinging around like it was when I first broke it. Are these phantom pains? I'll be standing still both feet on the ground, and my leg feels like its swinging.

i'm sorry you had that injury. i can relate to a few of the points. i was in a car wreck when i was 19? and broke 11 bones. one was my clavicle, which i ended up re-breaking 4-5 months later.

the good news is that it knitted very well and i have not had a single problem since, 20-odd years later. your ortho should be able to take an image and tell you how it's progressing.

the fear of being a passenger in a car has never fully passed, but it took a good 5 years at least to not be completely freaked out.