Ive Isolated for the last decade, I started regular therapy 7 years ago. I have been trying to come out of my shell and fall on my face alot.
I understand , you are not alone .
Last year I learned how to text. I didnt even know what an IP address was. I had no idea. I used to do tons of complicated contracts.
Now I find it hard to fill out the simplest of forms.
I too have no friends that come over.
A month ago I invited some friends for dinner I spent three days getting the food and my house in order and they cancelled right as i was setting the plates out . Their excuse ' They had to feed the dog." I didnt say one word I just split the meals up for the next week and felt pretty dumb.
Im just putting myself out there agian, so Im just trying to blow it off as well at least im trying even tho it hurt my feelings . But I suppose I cant expect a radical change over night. I just have to keep moving forward or at least stand still after a baby step to take it all in.
Sorry for the ramble,
baby steps for me ,
Im glad your here:) and shared because I get to wondering sometimes if Im the only one , There are lots of supportive people here :)
wellbe

Sign me up. After I was injured in 2011, I was bedridden almost a year; then only left home for doctors and physiotherapy and.... then the PTSD memory volcano erupted. What few friends remained? Well, there's two or three who have not bailed. Two had such miserable reactions to my dx that I am no longer in touch with them.... and since I can't travel much anyway from the physical stuff----housebound a LOT more than I like!

I try to be social if I can, but the phobia stuff is still so strong. I am trying, tho'. Baby steps for me, too. Someday, I will remember the world isn't all my enemy and out to kill me.... Etc.

I come here, I try to stay in touchwith the few hwo want to in 'real" life, and... yeah.

I don't feel like my brain is slowing down but I do feel like the anxiety and panic (even with meds) make small things too big and I feel like I've forgotten how to just have a conversation. (Hubby says no, but then, he's on th eshort list of people I trust completely. The only one, in fact.)

Sorry to go on, but you are NOT alone!

So are you saying it's boredom?

Even I get antsy but have managed my classes by some miracle. Nothing like a meltdown or two in public to realize some people will just step around you and go there merry way. But I eventually pull it together, drop the glasses back on my nose, tip my hat forward and move again. To be honest I didn't think I could do it and there are days I have my doubts. But I am liking the reason to get out that is measured and stable. Also finding out that there are many students my age and physically disabled doing it too helps.
Now is the time when local school districts put out summer programs for adults. The fees for residents are minimal and you can even take computer literacy for free at 50 and above (they know we are dumb to the machines) It may take all your reserves to get through the first couple but then when everyone is on the same page it helps. No random interruptions in the flow. Most are in places handicap equipped(Community Center programs) and may even have transportation buses available for disabled, through them or your local bus service at a reduced cost. So maybe look into something that interests you. It will take a bit of hutspah to get started, but I am finding the benefits outweigh the drawbacks including the meltdowns. If "friends" have let you down...meet new ones undiscovered. My current best list of phone calls comes from friends met here. A start of any sort is a start, also minor failures are good to talk about with your councilor. They have a lot of resources that can help if you show them you are ready.

Hugs Jewells

When I got declared disabled, the HMO I belonged to offered me a free stress management class.

EVERYBODY in the class ... except for me ... had too much to do and too little time to do it.

I had nothing to do and all the time in the world to do it.

Still do.

People were genuinely upset with me for being there. They thought I had nothing to be stressed about.

I'm guessing you wouldn't agree with them. I sure didn't. I sure don't.

Pain is tough enough even when it doesn't restrict your activities. When you have pain AND it restricts you from doing most things ... it's an incredibly difficult hand to play.

I wish you peace, health, strength, and relief.

I feel very much for all of you. You are the few people I've EVER talked to that gets it. People who are not homebound bc of pain, can't even imagine it. They just assume lazy, and all the rest that you guys have heard at sometime in this pain journey of hell.

The unintentional isolation really starts the ball rolling on all of the rest. Sprinkled liberally with PTSD issues, and BAM, you've got a resipy for the misunderstood life we lead (I tried spelling resicpy 10 x's and still my numb brain can't spell a simple word).

wellbe- Holy crap with your dinner guests! I don't think I would have been able to bite my tongue when I got THAT call at the last minute. And I know just cooking the food gave you pain, along with the 3 days to make your house presentable.

I am so glad I posted this bc like I said, no one else gets it. I'm just warning you all that I will be hunting you down to talk to at some point. I'm thinking most of you won't mind and WILL HAVE THE TIME to talk.

Thank you for helping me feel better. And just so you know, no one can ramble on too long, and anyone who wants to join my "Happy Club" can post me anytime, as long as you can ramble.. Or just vent!

Irony Alert - The song "highway to hell", just came on, and I call my road the highway to hell, and my house is hell !!! THANK YOU

My life tends to run to extremes. I am either frantically busy or sitting alone and idle. I don't like either extreme. I cherish those rare, balanced days that move at a calm, steady pace.

Gentle hugs to those caught in the lonesome extreme.

My brain is slowed down by being distracted by daily flashbacks easily, so I have an old model Palm Pilot in my pocket and I write EVERYTHING down or I'll forget it. Like some early Alzheimer's patients do. I do that at work (I've lost a job due to hospitalizaton for PTSD before) and I do it about groceries, everything.

I reached the limit of the meds I can take by getting permanent kidney damage from them even though I was under doctors' supervision. Meds helped me manage my anxiety so I could have a social life. Since I had to give up meds completely in 2011 I haven't been on a date once. In 2011 when I went off meds, my fiancee broke up with me. I didn't do anything to her, she just didn't want to deal with me unless I was tranquilized. I've been on my own since then.

My weekends are spent alone. I guess that's pathetic and pitiful, but I'm still here even if no one witnesses my existence. I will probably die alone, but until then I am my own witness to being alive.

For 3 years now I have had no partner to lend a hand, no hero to champion my cause, so I guess sometimes you got to be your own hero. Screw 'em. I have my job, and I'm not in the hospital's psych ward, and to get that much done has been heroic even if I'm the only one who knows it.