Big hug sweetie..... How do you feel about it? and what do you need?... That's so important as well

I've heard of a lot of people releasing balloons celebrating the life of their loved one

Perhaps something like a release can be a step in helping all of you??... maybe?

Another hug and a blessing.... xo

I am definitely doing something for myself and Hubby, if he wants in on it. March 27th has been a day of note for more than half of my 66 years. The gentle soul to whom it serves tribute remains worthy of the tribute.

I'm not so sure about his children, though. At 7, 5 and 2, the day means little to them and I am not quite sure their grief processes need to be tied to a calendar. Each of them appear free to grieve in their own, unique way and time.

Little League practice has commenced here at the farm. Life willing and the Maskites don't rise, the season game schedules will be out soon. The socially marginalized orphans might be on the verge of having a social life, complete with an independent future. I'm wondering if that is the healthier emphasis for next weekend. Daddy was a High Priest in the Church of Baseball. Is that his quiet, gentle voice nudging me that direction?

I really have no idea about what would be in the best interest of a child therapeutically

My own thoughts though are that celebrating their parent in a positive way while supported will encourage them to use their voice if they want to and feel the love and support that you've always been there for

A celebration of their dad's life I think is a good thing... again IMHO.... Big hug sweetie.....xo

Thanks for the encouragement to chew, Jan. It be a thorny chew, but healing takes what it takes.

The advent of Little League season means allot more this year than it did last year. By this time last year, schools, etc., were closed down and I sensed they were grieving the loss of their world even more intensely than they were grieving Mommy and Daddy. The party served more purpose than honoring a beloved soul.

The maskite invasion still isn't over, but hope springs eternal. My current sense is that the Little League practice feels more important to than Daddy's birthday. At 7, the oldest of these children has never had a sustainable friendship. More so for the youngers.

Mark his birthday as you feel fit for *you*, and they can participate or not. They may ask questions, or not. Your grief is yours. Do what you need to do to keep your heart on a healing path, and I suspect that will help the kids subsconsciously. Based on a few experiences in my early life,a nyway.

Healing purrs and hopes for you and yours.

I'm with Leo on this, arfie. There's no instructional manual on how to process the loss this birthday reminds you of, so self care will be good for you and trickle down to the kids, too. Sending healing vibes your way.

Yea, so far my inclination is to keep the day between my son and I. Maybe Hubby, too. The day has been significant for more than half his life, too. He's younger than I am, so it's an even bigger half for him, but we don't often get time to talk freely. We see what grows.

I believe the older kids are each processing their grief openly. They speak of it at the most unexpected moments and? ? ? So far so good? ? ? Prayers ongoing. For now, they are thoroughly excited about having a kid event here at the farm. It feels like a healthy excitement. The two year old, of course, still doesn't have too many clues. Monkey see, monkey do. I suspect her grief will hit later when she realizes she **should have had** a live Mom and Dad.

It's so good you have such a nuanced awareness of the different child developmental stages the kids are at and what that means for how each of them, younger or older, may be able to process grief. It's great that you're patient now and ready for when and if it hits later in a realization in her time. Prayers ongoing.

((((Arfie))))))
Many prayers ongoing
Gentlest of hugs <3

Thank you, guys.

The first full team practice was yesterday and it was a roaring success. My 3 orphans are far from the only junior residents of Coronaville who are starved for unmasked social development. Go Diamondbacks! ! !

Prayers ongoing. . .

Go Diamondbacks!!!.... Big squishy hug.....xo

I asked my psych class students to hold you in their thoughts through this birthday, arfie. I was anonymous about you, of course, but grief over birthdays was the subject of today's assigned chapter in our psych textbook, so it was an opportunity that presented itself to make use of awareness in the real world. Sending you supportive vibes from us all again today.

aw arfie i do t know the answers but i’m sitting with you sending hugs. i know i’ll be thinking of you on the 27th

Thank you guys. It helps to know I am not alone.

The baseball practices feel like the more healing party for the children. Life willing and the maskites don't rise, the game season will start next week. I can almost hear Daddy calling it, "The Best Birthday Present EVER! ! ! GO DIAMONDBACKS! ! !"

You're welcome, arfie, you are indeed not alone. Yay baseball!!!!