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Anxiety Disorders
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Bad Night

AmberChristine
AmberChristine

I am having anxiety just writing out my thoughts to the public. I have never done this before but I feel like I'm running out of options. Truly there's more to this life than being confined in my old habits. Today I cleaned the whole house, not because I wanted to, but because I felt like I had to. I listen to the radio on blast throughout my day, because silence makes me feel crazy. Last night I had a terrible experience, I woke up with an ultraviolet light within my eye sight. I had to use the restroom so I turned the light on and my eyes wouldn't focus in the light, but instead I was starting to see blackness. I felt adrenaline on the tip of my tongue as I ran back to bed, but I looked at my phone to see what time it was and the numbers on my phone were so blurry. Eventually I rubbed my eyes and it was better, but I fear the worst in what is actually going on. I am so anxious all the time, that my body releases so much adrenaline when I feel the slightest difference in normality.

Spiral
Spiral
I am so sorry you are having difficulties with anxiety. Anxiety is a bitch! You need to release that tension. Exercise, progressive muscle relaxation and meditation my help with some of the anxiety symptoms. Also medications to help you sleep might be helpful. I use trazodone at night to sleep. Clonazepam has helped me control anxiety during the day. I do not take it everyday, just when I need it and it really works wonders.
I hope you find some relieve from this, I understand it is no fun! hugs
arfie
arfie
Hi Amber. Welcome to the forum.

What you are describing sounds allot like my "hyper-vigilance" cycle. Especially the last sentence about fresh adrenaline bursts any time I feel a threat of normalcy. I kinda subscribe to the adrenaline junkie theories. Adrenaline is a powerful all-natural drug and quite addicting. I even get to be my own pharmacist. Alas. . . It also has some gnasty side effects with long-term usage. I watchdog my own adrenaline rushes pretty closely.

Don't know if it is a valid comparison, or not, but. . .

Mostly wanted to welcome you to DS.
AmberChristine
AmberChristine
Thank you guys for your comments! It means a lot that I found a discussion board with people whom I can relate to. Spiral, I was actually thinking about exercising, I have a gym at my apartment complex, so I will start using it to my advantage. Also, meditation is a big step for me because I don't like silence, but I should probably figure out the root of that. Clonazepam seems like a good thing to have on hand, I've had it before and it really does help calm my nerves. Arfie, I looked up hyper-vigilance because I was unfamiliar with the term, it sounds very similar to what I experience. I am currently taking Prozac for depression and OCD, which has helped with my motivations tremendously, it also helps me to feel and differentiate a lot of these new sensations I am having as well. As of before, I would unknowingly have certain ritualistic behaviors, but the Prozac allows me to see these unhealthy cycles for what they are and question my motives behind it, asking myself "is this really healthy?" But sometimes the Prozac gives me too much notice to the different sensations in my body, most I am not used to and I get hyper-vigilant. I either feel too much, or not at all.

Thank you guys for the help.
sunandbutterflies
sunandbutterflies
Exercising is a great idea. :)
Sometimes prayer or meditating on verses or singing helps me when I am feeling anxious.
It is probably a good idea to talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. He or she may be able to give you some additional suggestions too or adjust your medication.
God bless!
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