Hi Courtney!!. If you have a caring therapist they usually will let you go at your own pace and only reveal what your' comfortable with. That's how mine is anyway. If I don't want to talk about something she doesn't make me. I would just start with telling her how you feel. Start little and hopefully she has some tips on ways to ease the anxiety. Mine had me do 4 deep breaths , keep it in for a few seconds then let it out. It helped me. Plus some meditation and relaxation imagery. Hope everything goes well.

Medication that will not interfere with your epilepsy medications I cannot help with but as Lil says, your doctors should work with one another to get you the right combo. Getting some sleep will help immensely. The more our mind is on the more intrusive thoughts become in my experience.

I have had to adapt myself. It's been a long hard road but I believe it is making me a better person. I think with therapy and good coping skills you will adapt and thrive. It may be in a different way you planned, but still thrive. It sounds a lot like the grief process and it will take time.

When I go to the doctor I bring a list of things to talk about. My first visit with my current doctor started out as a rough draft and he dug out what he needed to work on from there. I hope this helps.

Ditto above, and LOL, hey, Lilly, thanks for the shout-out!

Find a psychiatrist with a background or board certification in *neurology*. Or have him coordinate with your neurologist. Many anti-anxiety meds crossover and have use as anti-convulsants, too. I'm on Klonopin, one of the old reliables, for anxiety---and if it helps with my seizures not breaking through, hey, bonus! However, I'm also on well-known epilepsy medication, well-studied and well-documented, and that is half the battle. Docs aren't guessing. They've had a few decades to work out the ifs-ands-buts.

I've had a lot of trauma, it turns out, and medical trauma? Oh boy. That's the most recent and in some ways, the hardest for me to cope with. Bad fall. Messed up spine and pelvis. I have nightmares about another fall like that. I have phobias about doctors, nurses, medical procedures, and falling. (Did I mention falling? *eyeroll*) I'm four years into physical recovery and... Yeah. Life ain't what it was. No more 5K runs, blah blah blah.

As for therapists, they work for you. If they don't do the job to specifications, find a new therapist. It sucks, but it's beter in the long run. I shopped. I asked my two trusted docs for a list of psych professionals they'd recommend, and started there. Very big help.

Anxiety is a real brain-eater, for me.

Two exercises that help me.

The Square.
Breathe in, counting four, and if you want, imagine you are drawing a line bottom to top on a piece of paper.
Hold for four, while "drawing" that "line" across.
Exhale for the four-count, and "draw" the third line fo the square...
Hold for four, completing the line on the square.

Repeat. I did that for a minute an hour when I first started doing it. Now just doing it a few times switches my brain into "rest-digest" mode from "fight-flight-fright". (This is a biological thing, btw, my psychiatrist is neuro-certified, he explained the mechanism.)

Second one:
The EyeRoll

Close your eyes. As you breathe in, roll your eyes back in your head. Gently. If you wear contacts, save this one for non-contact-lens times. (Learned hard way.)

As you breathe out, let your eyes roll back down to "normal" position.

As you go, you'll find you can take longer, slower breaths.

The mechanism? This one's simple. No fancy nervous system talk. Basically, it takes so much brain space to coordinate eyerolls and breaths that it derails your thinking!

***

PM me if you want about coping with PTSD, pain, epilepsy and/or any of the above. Been there, doing it, and it does limit my range of options.... But not as much as you'd think. Particularly if your epilepsy is already controlled. And sleep deprivation will *not* help that, as you know.

As for go-tos---don't believe the internet, okay? General warnings do not apply to every specific situation. So there may be meds out there for you. Give it a chance, okay?

For sleep, btw, I use herbal remedies. I do not trust pharmaceuticals for that. I drink lemon balm or chamomile tea, a little lavender in the room, all safe for epilepsy and for PTSD. :-) One warning on chamomile---if you are allergic to ragweed, it might trigger the allergy a bit. Never does for my husband, but there it is.

Therapy bullet lists are: Therapist Works for You. Give them a few weeks to prove their stuff. Be unafraid to tell a therapist when you are uncomfortable... and you may need to change therapists as you go. My first was great for *then*---but not for *now*. It happens.

Gentlest support, Courtney. Sorry to ramble. We're here for you.

Welcome! As soon as I read your post, I thought
Leo's got to read this", and sure enough, Leo's already posted. Because of the neurologist stuff. And KAdunn and Lilly and Doo posted, too, and fast, and that's just typical here. Folks care and reply quickly, so stuff like an upcoming appointment gets support in time. This is a really healing place, Courtss, so I'm glad you found us. Much support to you with this first appointment. Let us know how it goes, ok?

hey cannot comment on meds but big supportive hugs and im terrified to go places by myself welcome min

I have no insights on the medications, but I do pretty good with making good use of talk therapy. My personal strategies include,

1) Keep the expectations real. You are not going to find comprehensive evaluations, much less solutions in an hour. Building the relationship and therapy plan takes time.

2) Stay objective enough for evaluation of your therapist, but keep your mind open. If you knew what you needed, you would not need to bring a pro.

Healing is a process, Courts. Be patient.