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anger and resentment

nohelpnow
nohelpnow
For most of my life, I have denied having anger at all. Now, finally, I am feeling the anger. Problem is, I get very, very angry and want to say terrible things to people. My therapist says it is good I am aware of the anger. But I am not so aware as really, really angry. It is only later that I can see the anger. I don't like this anger cause I don't know if given the opportunity, if I wouldn't act on it. And the things I think of to do are not nice. Anyone else struggle with anger?
donnawanda
donnawanda
I am suffering a lot with anger - so much anger, it makes me feel sick. I do not feel in danger of acting it out on anyone, I feel more like it's a poison in my body. It has to do with feelings of helplessness and powerlessness against evil and impervious authority. My therapist thinks the anger is a defense against letting myself feel the powerlessness.

In your case, first of all, it sounds like it's a very positive thing for you to feel that anger. It says that all the abuse you suffered in your life was NOT OKAY. And that's an important place to get to!! So good for you!!

Since you are afraid of expressing it in ways you might regret, how about letting off some steam by yourself so the pressure inside is less? I mean like beating a pillow, screaming into a pillow, breaking (unwanted) dishes, tearing up a phone book - that type of thing. Something to let the anger out of your body without hurting yourself or others.
arfie
arfie
When the dam breaks on long repressed anger, the gush is torrential and the developments downstream have no coping mechanisms, whatsoever. My own initial gush was intense enough to be called, "Rage," complete with blackouts. Getting my rage under control was no small feat.

Paraphrasing like mad, several doctors described the physics of this as an all-natural, automated drug deal. The initial anger sets off an adrenaline rush and the body keeps sending new adrenaline fixes as the anger escalates into rage. By the time anger escalates to rage, my brain is as addled as a meth addicts. Sound judgement is quite beyond me.

Whatever that whatever, I make purging my system of the adrenaline the top priority. Extreme workouts work best for me for the purging. Kick boxing channels allot of the emotions at the same time it purges the adrenaline. Even been known to tape pictures and effigies on to whatever inanimate object I am kick boxing.

Well. . . Maybe I should put that last paragraph into the past tense. I am much calmer these days. Age has its perks?

Just me. . .

Gentle support while you sort your own, nohel.
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