All mass shootings matter, but of the recent ones that happened in Dayton and El Paso, one of the two affects me at my workplace more directly.  I was in Mexico when the El Paso shooting happened.  That's where I'm retiring in two years because Mexico, along with Uruguay, is where I grew up as a missionary kid.  I've taught Spanish for a living in the USA since 1980 because of growing up there.  I got PTSD in Uruguay's Tupamaro War and am here because of growing up there.

Next week it will be my job to stand up in with my PTSD in front of groups of students to teach them Spanish and talk about Mexico's culture in the recent aftermath of the El Paso shooting.  The shooter in that case drove across Texas from Dallas to El Paso to be selective as to his victims being specifically Mexican.  

I am concerned about how to keep my composed with my PTSD under workplace stress in front of people now.  I spoke at a church yesterday, and even though I wasn't talking about El Paso, I got choked up in front of the congregation, so that is my crisis.   Please be aware that, given our Daily Strength Rules of the Road concerning promoting politics on our site, political commentary for or against the White House is not what I am requesting.  I have seen such  commentary on tv already.  It has not provided the PTSD support I need.  I am asking for specific support of the kind only support group peers here with PTSD can offer.  

I know it is a tall order.  If I myself could muster the PTSD wisdom to come up with the answer, I wouldn't ask.  However, other than talking with my psychiatrist in this week's appointment with him, so far I've worked quite alone on processing the El Paso Walmart shooting.  The only other person offline from whom I asked for support responded by saying calling me up just to say my discussing it with him made him "uncomfortable" because I'm Causasian and he is African American.  

I understand discussing how the recent El Paso shootings would make him uncomfortable, sure.  Discussing it makes me uncomfortable, too.  It is an ugly incident, as I said in my appointment this week with my psychiatrist. However, my psychiatrist and I thought it would be helpful for me to discuss here in PTSD peer support group safety on DS how it makes me feel as a Spanish instructor with PTSD who just came from Mexico and is returning there for Winter Break.  

If you can offer support without violating the DS ROR and without becoming too uncomfortable with your own PTSD yourself, I welcome your advice on how to teach Spanish and Mexican culture next week on my job at my community college.  I have prepared a PowerPoint presentation for my Spanish class next week.  It covers my personal biography I've mentioned here just now about how as a missionary kid I happened to grow up in Mexico and Uruguay.  I figured that may help my students in class next week understand where I'm coming from.  My PowerPoint does not mention the recent El Paso shootings, though.  I don't know if it should.  What do you think?

Do you have any advice or support for me?  If you do, I would be very grateful.  Thank you.