last nights lesson at group was Admit
I have trouble finding people I trust. In my experience people aren’t who they say they are. I give chances and I don’t see the obvious flags. I need to figure this out. I can’t deal with my head. I’ve been home all week because of daycare issues and now they’re with dad and I want to hide in my bed and not come out all day. I have not felt this depressed, confused and hopeless in six years. It took me five years to understand why I was so out of sorts. I CANT WAIT THAT LONG THIS TKME!!!!
I’m so done. Overcooked. Burnt. Disgustingly blackened. Unusable. I can not keep doing this. I need to get out of my head but there’s no one to talk to and I don’t know what to say. I actually journaled but there’s not even a question there. I can not in one sentence describe what is causing my trouble and pain and heartache right now. I can not wrap my mind around my life. And I don’t feel like I can function. I’m not okay.
But here I go. One foot in front of the other, headed into work with a smile on my face. I feel like the frog that boils to death in a pot of water because he doesn’t notice it’s getting hot. I’m noticing something but I can’t tell what it is. Is it me? Is it others? Is it how I perceive others? Is it something else entirely? Is something else wrong with me?
I can not do this. Why can’t I do this? What is wrong with me?
Coffee?Tea?Hot Chocolate?Cider?Warm Broth/Soup?
"Blue Monday" isn't just the name of a New Order song... It's also the unofficial name for the third Monday of January - https://bestlifeonline.com/blue-monday/Hunker down everyone and I hope we all make it through and feel better tomorrow!