I think one of the most important health concerns for me my life with PTSD is whether I can feel that I have options or not. That might sound abstract and vague, but to me it's very real. I can't live well in "dilemma" for long. Being boxed in to damned if you do/damned if you don't choices amps up my PTSD anxiety, and pretty soon it starts going exponential. What stops that spiral for me is seeing a third option in every decision making step. I need that so much that it became part of my daily meditation. My prayer was to be able, no matter how pressured by others, to have the courage to see a third path for myself, hopefully a middle path between extremes, if possible.

I think that is compatible with 12 step spirituality, if I'm not mistaken. The Serenity Prayer mentions "1. serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 2. courage to change the things I can, and 3. wisdom to know the difference," right?

It may be a stretch, but that third part might be key here when it comes to the action/reaction topic you mention. I don't know, because my meditation for a 3rd option came from my Buddhist meditation class. I'm not a Buddhist, but that was the tradition my meditation class came out of when I got my dx. But this might be a 12 step spirituality point of reflection, might it not? Much support to you.

No idea what to offer other than a supportive puma paw/shoulder. I'm in a similar too-heightened-PTSD state, brought on by being the Project Manager for my mother's brain tumor.... Muji makes good points for me, at least.

Much support, Arfie. For me, action-reaction are so muddled right now that it's chicken-egg territory. At some point I started acting before I reacted, but now I can't tell what's what. I feel like all this scared-puma inside me just winds tight and then has to unwind or break my ribs from inside me....

my efforts are towards responding over reacting. like muji said finding the options. but more than that its a keeping myself as the one who is making the decision for me. to me reaction is when we've been pushed into that corner and it isn't really a choice. its a fight/flight reaction. unfortunately too many people out there take advantage of that and abuse it to manipulate. now when i can move into respond mode i stay in charge of my decisions. i think this is where your action fits in. responding to a long time for me to get the hang of -still fine tuning. it works when we are aware and have healthy boundaries that are established and in place. (ah yes the bread and butter of every PTSD healing journey)

maybe you are acting/responding because your boundaries are being ignored? and under that pushy pressure you know there is something wrong? or maybe you need to step back and think about why you react? maybe get a working definition of what these two words mean? how they are defined in your words? IMHO there is always a valid reason for our actions somewhere in there even if it doesn't seem related directly to the immediate situation.

hope this helps. if it doesn't then leave it as it is.

hugs and support DG

gentlest hugs, Arfie. what has been said so well already, and by you yourself too

it is so awful when some will press us beyond being able to stay in our respond place...

i don't really think i have achieved the respond over react place yet - getting closer as i can see it now. i am in my head not reacting, and thinking responding thing... i think i am, not sure

when i think corner i still feel that crazy switch turning on. scary switch, but i can see the switch now.

obviously i haven't any answers. i got hugs here, lots of hugs and they are yours

When I first met this particular meditation (60's-style Transcendental Meditation, I think) on the difference between Action and Reaction, I found it ironic that there was a "Re" in front of "action" to make, "Reaction" since my reactions are my first response to any given circumstance. By the time I finished my military training, I was seeing "Reactions" as trained responses; actions I had repeated so many times that I could perform them with automated speed and accuracy.

Fast forward through uncountable volumes of psychotherapy and ? ? ? Reaction equals conditioning? The actions I learned before I had words to describe them.

Still chewing. . . I am not sure "Right" or "Wrong" answers are the point of the meditation, though I kinda like the notions of letting the action be the opening of new options. . . Chew chew. . .

Thanks for the dialogue, guys. Just what the witch doctor ordered. . .