i think everyone is pretty weird today - even my dogs are weird today. i'm not kidding at all, the pup has been a little monster creature and bit me to the point he drew blood on my finger : ( he doesn't do that, but he did today. it's been a gnarly sort of a day. i say, chalk it up to weirdness and don't take it personally - it isn't you : ) hugs, Lilly

I doubt very much it is you Muji. It seems to come in waves for me too and it is a good reminder for me to look back inside of myself and remember what I do by myself that makes me happy. It says way more about the other person standing you up then it ever would of you. You are not just a good person, you are one of the greats and I hope you do not get down on yourself for his inappropriateness.

I agree with Doo...the fact that he didn't take the initiative to contact you to reschedule was even more direspectful...I wouldn't have been willing to hang out with him again bc that gives him the power to stand you up again...I have abandonment issues too so I can relate

Muji, big hugs, and I'll chime in from my POV...

On one hand? he may want to simply turn a duo into a "group" b/c he wants you and anothe rfriend of his to be friends, too... and it's also possible that if you ask if he's got something going on, he'll tell you a lie that you'll detect, or a truth you'll understand. Either way, ti's *him*, not you, that did the disrespecting.
That said, I've been stood up by people I would've previously sworn to be good reliable friends, and that when I was bedridden. So let the ball stay in *his* court. He wants friendship, he can extend friendship.
Big soft breaths, and don't assume it is *you*, okay?

If it is just you, you are not alone. I put mine under "Social Anxiety," but it nets the same result: Forever in doubt in any given social exchange. You are a social super-star next to me. I even feel questioning angst over my on-line and peer support relationships. Kinda the definition of social anxiety, I think in my just-a-patient ponderings.

I try to just let the mystery be on why people do (or don't do) the things they do. In actual fact, there is a world full of possibilities and the most efficient way to find out is to ask the person I am trying to second-guess. But. . . Letting the mystery be is easier said than done. The first guess on this scenario is that your friend has another lonely friend in need of the social interaction.

Okay, okay. . . Back to letting the mystery be.

My guess is that you're reading too much into this. But honestly...I can't tell. It's over the internet. I can't read him...only a bit of you from what you write about what happened.

So hugs.

Thanks, everybody, I agree that it's probably not about me after all. My social anxiety from PTSD can lead me to put myself at the center of events when I'm not the center in reality. It really helped me step down my social anxiety's inner emotional storm to say something here, though, so I'm still glad I did, and I think I'll do it next time a thing like this happens. This is a great place to release that extra steam that builds up from social anxiety PTSD about things that are small to others in everyday interactions out in the world.

The thing about PTSD is that even when it blows things out of proportion, the pain caused by that is still real. Thanks for giving me a place to go when I feel that pain. If I went to other places offline with it, I might do my own image among offline people real damage. Here I can speak of this exaggerated effect but real pain, and you get it. I'm safe. I really appreciate that.

Perhaps the third party is a new love interest for him?... and with his head in the clouds he forgot?....sigh...
I could write a new Harlequin Romance novel now....smile

I hear you muji and it is frustrating...

My dear landlord/roomie does this kind of thing a lot.... He's a social butterfly and flies by the seat of his pants.. I am anything but... The total opposite
I don't think he set out to hurt you ...

I personally write everything on a calendar and usually need confirmation a day or two before... A tad OCD... Great big squishy hug...

I'm glad you feel better about it now...xo

Muji, would it make a difference if you thought that maybe this extra person also needs support? That your friend was trying to give it alone and thought you could be part of his choice? After all we are so many here that support each other, and take additional help from others in doing so. I think your friend may not be dropping you so much, as including you. His trust in your personality being a good mix in the new person?
Or flipped he is bring another slowly to add to your collection of support. Especially if he knows the circumstances of the Missouri trip.
John did that one person at a time to add to my support base. later known as the Posse. Not to abandon me but to give me more.
Hugs J.

It isn't about you and it doesn't sound like he gave you an apology when you contacted him. That was kind of lousy. But if he's wanting to add another person maybe it'll add to your friend base. You can give it a try once and see how it goes. Nothing ventured nothing gained.