I have come to the conclusion that the odd numbered years REALLY suck. 2011 began with my 4th miscarriage. I was quickly pregnant again and was a high-risk, beautiful pregnancy. Seriously, none of the normal negative side effects that comes with growing a human being in your abdomen. Then October came and my baby boy was finally here and healthy. We did the breast crawl and it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced. That's about when things took a turn for the worst on my end. I was still bleeding. I went into DIC (used all of my clotting factors), so I physically couldn't stop bleeding. The ran unit after unit of blood, platelets, and plasma, but to no avail, I just kept bleeding. They finally rushed me off to surgery and were able to stop the bleeding. I woke up in the ICU going through renal failure. Awesome. A week later; respiratory failure followed by heart failure. I was aware for all of it; even the intubation as they prepped me to be air lifted to STL. Thank goodness my mind doesn't allow me to remember that part. Oh yeah, a month after I got home, I learned my husband began cheating on me because he felt insignificant.... I left, don't worry.

Fast forward to Christmas Night two years later, 2013. My barely 2-year-old had been acting a little off for a week or so. Not being one of those overly worried moms, I wrote it off to a cold due to his sniffles and loss of appetite. Until I felt the mass protruding from his belly after we opened presents. That night in the ER was possibly one of the worst nights of my entire life. I was told my son had a huge mass in his liver and we were immediately shipped off to STL. Again. 6 terrifying and exhausting months later, my baby was declared NED (no evidence of disease) and is still doing fabulously, though we are getting hearing aides due to the hearing loss from chemo.

Now, 2015, it's my turn to experience cancer. Cervical cancer. I'm 31 and have survived multiple DIC, multiple organ failure, pediatric cancer, and am now a week away from a hysterectomy... How does life just know who to throw all the crap at???

Thanks for allowing me a safe place to vent