Keep loving him. But don't let it destroy YOU!!!

To me It was like you where speaking out of my own brain , Ive been on both sides of this .

Lots of Love :)

My hubby had PTSD from his deployments in the Navy. And he was positively terrible to me... We seperated for a year. But the thing that brought us together again and has kept is together all these years now is... COUNSELING...!!! He has his counselor and I have mine. The marriage counseling didn't work for us, it is much better we handle our own PTSD in our own ways in seperate counseling sessions. My relationship was not worth being in until my hubby started to work on his stuff in counseling! I also have had a lot of help from my professionals...!!!

I'm sorry your suffering like this. I'm sure the VA has some resources for you that could be helpful...!!!

Hi PTLOVESD. Welcome to the forum. In my circles, we wonder often if PTSD is the number one cause of PTSD. Providing support can often be traumatic in itself. At best, it will wear on the most patient and tolerant of souls. Taking care of you is often the best thing you can do to be helpful. If that means getting out of the way of an episode before it escalates, do it. Find yourself a safe place where you can retreat when things start getting explosive. Letting him hurt you - emotionally or physically - is NEVER helpful.

You don't say where you are, but my local VA has workshops and support for the combat PTSD supporters. That might be worth a phone call... Alanon has been my most consistent source of help when the trials and tribulations of other people's problems start making me crazier than normal.

Venting can help. Feel free to vent here if it suits you.

Welcome aboard.

My suggestion- when he says he needs his space, believe him. And examine why that bothers you so much. Are the insecurities on his end, yours, or maybe both? Could you be enmeshed a bit? I'd look over the checklist of codependency and see if you have enough going on to consider if you have it.

Thank you all so much for your support! It really helps! I find it difficult most times to maintain my own health and wellness. He tends to restrict me from a lot of activities. Mind you we have a long distance relationship, so that alone is a challenge. One example would be when I wanted to go out and get tacos with a girlfriend. He did not like this as he knew the place my friend and I would be going to and he had this belief that a guy was going to hit on me and I would then leave him. No matter how much I tried to tell him that I would never leave him and he is the only one I will ever love, he continued to believe that situation would happen. There was no getting around it. He then proceeded to break up with me, saying he just can't trust me, even though I have never done anything to make him think otherwise. This happens often, I even quit the gym to make him feel more at ease, but he stills manages to find something wrong in my activities. I do not go out on the weekends, most are spent wtih him or my family.

This brings me to DeliAnnem brought up. I consider myself to be very secure, but I have found it most challenging in dealing with his outburst. Most of the time when he tells me he needs his space, he will tell me that I am annoying, he will try to break up with me, or say other mean and hurtful things. All the sudden he will start to question my loyaltiy and say "it just isn't working." Once I leave, all of that seems to go away and he is okay again. Wanting to be with me. So you can see how I can get confused and begin to question the security within our relationship.

I was in counseling for a bit, but it got too expensive. I have been trying to convince him to go, but he keeps finding excuses. The only thing I can do is keep trying.

Thank you all again!! Your support is greatly appreciated.