You blame yourself because it is a natural human instinct to do so.

NO YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME! It is not your fault. Be strong, feel loved, have a better day,

Yadlim and Misha

Short answer:
NO.
You were manipulated. By definition, the person being manipulated is not the one in control or in possession of the facts.

The only thing to blame yourself for would be if you willfully knowingly saw Sharron for what he is (scumball) and then went along. You didn't know. Igrnoance isn't a defense under the law, but it is in life---when ya don't know, ya don't know, plain an dsimple.

We want a target. When we can't get access to the one who hurt us, we turn in on ourselves, is my thought. And the abusive a-holes of the world love to twist it to make us to blame---part of their sick games.

You're a survivor. You're loved. YOu're gonna be okay.

A survivor of what exactly? I just wanted to help sharron be a better person. But I hurt myself instead. It's MY fault for trying so hard

Okay, maybe I've confused you with someone else, that is possible. But if I do remember correctly, did this person not exploit and manipulate you? Taking advantage of your youth and good intentions? Sounds like you survived that to me. You're here. Ergo, survivor.

Not to be too blunt, but you seem determined to go in circles until someone agrees that you are (fill in blank)..... and I won't do that. I've done it to myself too dam* much to do it to someone else.

Yes. You're right. He did manipulate me and spread pictures around online. Can you really call me a survivor? It's not like I was a victim of rape. I want people to agree with me. Won't it make me feel better?

"I want people to agree with me. Won't it make me feel better?"

Sorry. I think you're in the wrong place if that's really what you need.

As always, I wish you the best of luck.

I am in the same camp as David. I don't always agree with people.

I don't know the story, so I don't know how much of things were your own fault. but I believe that people learn by their mistakes. I don't believe in 'punishment' and that most often the natural consequences are enough,, and that what is called for in a person who has made a mistake, whether purposely or unintentionally, is just to learn the lesson and apply it .

Sometimes it's hard to move forward after making a mistake, but it is possible. I've made some serious mistakes in my life, and it's been hard to live with them, and to try to change my life. Getting hung up on blame has been basically an impediment to moving on.

David: Getting people to agree is NOT why I came here and it hurts to hear you say that. I came here because someone took advantage of me and I wanted people that understand d what I've gone through to talk to about this.

Xa1: if you wanna read my story it's posted in a discussion under "my story". I would tell you but it's painful to tell people about what happened. I keep blaming myself because the guy couldn't hurt me, couldn't find me, and I could've stopped responding back but I kept on because the guy threatened to hurt my best friend if I didn't comply.

I have ot call you out, but it is meant with compassion.

He THREATENED your loved one(s). How were you to know he could NOT follow through until later? Fear is not when we think. Fear is when we REACT. (Voice of experience here. At 4, I belived my sis would ruin and end my world. Of course she couldn't. Didn't stop me believing it---she scared me. I figured it out *later*. Hope you see the moral in that horror story...)

So.... you survived being threatened and kept in fear of what could happen.

Isn't fear a bad thing? I'm confused by what you're saying leo.

I don't think it's confusing, but let me clarify.
He caused fear. You felt fear. You reacted out of fear of what might happen.

Fear is not good or bad.. it is what we do about fear. If we let fear rule our lives it's bad,, if our fear tells us to be careful then that's good.

I know a few people that got blackmailed and threatened. Including me, but I'm more skeptical of people in the first place, so I'm careful with everybody. The best way to deal with blackmail is to fess up, and call the police. If they are going to see nude pictures then that's what they'll see.. that's the mistake made.. but to keep it from getting worse.. if the threat is that they will expose you, then.. no pun intended, go ahead, to the spouse, to the parents, to the police,, and tell them this person is blackmailing you, and why.

It's over now Xa1. He finally told me he's done bullying me. He did just that. He sent the pictures to people. And I couldn't do anything about it. I also deleted all the msg from him because I was scared.

I'm glad it's over

Thank you Xa1.