Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

10,128 Members

27,617 Posts

0 Online

violetwallflower532 07/13/2013

I am writing this so I can vent out how I feel about my online experiences. I am 17 and have been sexually harassed by someone on KIK for 1 month maybe longer than that. It started when I found a person Sharron on KIK. we talked for awhile and I told him about my boyfriend. He didn't like my boyfriend and my boyfriend didn't really trust him. I finally got my boyfriend to agree to talk to him. When I went to Sharron and explained to him my boyfriend wanted to talk to him and he got pissed off at me. He then demanded I send him a picture of my breasts. I told him no but he found out how much I care about my boyfriend and he said to me if I didn't do what he said he would hurt my boyfriend. I got scared and didn't want him to hurt my boyfriend because he is my best friend so I sent the picture to him. but that wasn't enough for him so he continued to threaten me if I didn't send he'd hurt my boyfriend. He then decided that he would take the pictures of me and send them to others if I didn't send him more pictures. He kept me up till 12:00 in the morning every night sending him pictures. (The pictures got worse and worse with every day I dealt with it) I was surprised I still had any energy left in me during the day. As every day went by I felt more and more awful about myself and thought I deserved what he did and that it was my fault (I still do). Finally a week after this started happening I log onto KIK and see I have 2 msg's from people I don't know. I asked them how they got my username and they said Sharron. They laughed at me and said she likes to show pictures of herself. They then proceeded to call me a slut. I felt worse and worse every time I had to send him pictures. The only reason I did was to keep him from hurting my boyfriend. One day during this time he started getting me to role play with him. I told him I didn't want to but again he threatened my boyfriend. The scenes we role played were of him forcing me to have sexual intercourse with him. Even though it didn't really happen to me in real life every time he sent a msg in the role play I felt like it was happening to me in real life. Finally a month and a half (I think. I don't know how long he tortured me. I lost track) he told me that he was bored of bullying me. I felt like it was a gift from God hearing that. Even though he was out of my life I had nightmares (still do) about him finding me in my house and raping me while i'm asleep. I have major self confidence and self worth issues too. I can't sleep either. I look around my room at night and I continue to think he's in my room or watching me. There's not a day that goes by that thinks I should've been smarter and ignored him. but I didn't and I have to accept and live with that. Cry If you read this PLEASE DON'T TELL A-N-Y-O-N-E about this. I'm entrusting you to read this for your eyes only. Please leave comments. It'd mean a lot to me.

violetwallflower532 07/19/2013

U do have a good point. But my parents won't understand. I can't talk to them about much.

DeliAnnem 07/19/2013

The fact that you can't talk to them much may be part of the reasons you found the internet so attractive.

Maybe that's how you could start the conversation. That you want to get a better relationship with them and communicate better. What parent would argue against that. Then begin to bring up this topic after a little time goes by. And show to them that you've sworn of "KIK" (whatever that is) and you've learned your lesson.

jewells1 07/19/2013

It is not your fault, they are PREDATORS! Looking for the vulnerable ones. You have learned a hard lesson, so will be fast to spot it in the future. This knowledge may save someone you know down the line, because your eyes are open. Hug your self and put the blame where it belongs...on him.

violetwallflower532 07/20/2013

It's not his fault. It's mine. I did what he said. I could've quit but I didn't. I should b punished NOT him. I can't talk because my dad's working most of the day and late some nights. My mom constantly fights with me. Plus if anyone close to me beside my bf found out they would hate me. I'm a !@#?!!!!!! That's all there is to it.

deleted_user 07/21/2013

Guess you'll need to chalk this up to experience.

Kik is an infamous trawling ground for fruitloops, and your experience is unfortunately all too common. Just google it, and you will see you are hardly alone. Thousands have walked in your shoes.

Your parents share a large part of the blame for not supervising your online activities.

DeliAnnem 07/21/2013

Well, it's good that you're owning it and I'd keep that self-anger a little bit to keep you on the straight and narrow, but don't start going too dark on yourself! You're only 17 and you're learning.

I think the more important think to realize is that you can't talk to your mom. You're turning into a woman, and you need your mother to help you and guide you through this time in your life. I mean, that's probably why you got sucked in.

How are you going to be able to make smart choices in the future if you can't talk to your mother.

I'd go to her and tell her that she's not approachable and see if you can get a dialogue going.

violetwallflower532 07/21/2013

I wish I could talk about personal stuff with her. But I can't. We fight a lot and I've gotten so close to leaving home. And live with a friend. We don't have a good relationship and never will. I realize the reason I got the chatting app KIK in the first place was because I wanted, no craved attention from others. Since I don't get from my parents.

CecilBGreen 07/21/2013

I honestly didn't know what to make of your story at first. I was wondering how Sharron knew where your boyfriend lived and how he could hurt him. I was thinking maybe you just found yourself caught up in this Sharron and sent the first picture of your breasts willingly then he demanded more and if you didn't give him what he wanted he would send the breast picture to your boyfriend and others. This Sharron is a douchbag. Sadly there are many, many douchbags on the internet. So you took a chance and made a choice (which by the way is what being 17 is all about) and it turned out badly. Don't beat yourself up over it. As far as pressing charges....well that is a different ball game. A couple of young women here in my town (younger than you) sent nude pics of themselves to their boyfriends and the boyfriends sent the pics to their friends and what ended up happening was that the girls were charged along with the boys for producing and distributing child pornography. I'm not saying it was right or wrong...just saying. Trust me when I say NEVER send naked pics unless you want them shown around. Just don't do it. I am 30 years older than you and made a similar mistake. As far as not being able to talk to your mom....at 17 that is not so unusual and honestly it's not normal to discuss some personal things with parents. My daughter is 19 and she is just beginning to like me again after hating me for 3 years. She wasn't a freakin' ray of sunshine herself but I love her anyway. That being said; parents are human, we make mistakes. Some bigger than others. Trust in yourself and above all respect yourself. Oh yeah...watch out for douchbags.

DeliAnnem 07/22/2013

Cecil, you have a way with words! : D

Violet, I'd write your mother a letter and really put it out there. Make a wish list of what you'd like your relationship to look like and give it to her.

Your reasons for doing KIP are the same reasons some girls get themselves pregnant. They see the first boy that shows them attention and they roll over. Sounds like you are actually LUCKY!

If you never get the validation your are seeking from your parents, you'll just have to learn to validate yourself. Which is the most important form, anyway.

Welcome to adulthood... It's tough; wear a helmet!

DeliAnnem 07/22/2013

And thanks for not biting my head off for giving you a little tough love a few days ago. If you can be like that with me, maybe you can be the mature one in your family and see if you can get that line of communication rolling.

I wish you luck and try to update us! : )

violetwallflower532 07/22/2013

@cecil: thank u so much for your advice. It helps a lot. I realize what I did was wrong and after hearing that those girls got charged too it scared me. I try hard to respect myself but its so hard to.

@deliannem: I wouldn't b mad at u. It was something I needed to hear. And I will keep u guys updated.
Thanks everyone for comments. It's helping me a lot.

DeliAnnem 07/23/2013

I hear you. What the creep did to me at the diner where I worked was CLEARLY illegal on many levels. Yet did I press charges? Nope. To this day, I don't know if it was the right thing to do. But I guess it was the right thing at the time for a 17 year old.

violetwallflower532 07/23/2013

Should I press charges against him or turn him in?

CecilBGreen 07/23/2013

Do you still have the messages he sent that threatened you and your boyfriend? If you do then you may have a case. I am not a legal expert at all but he had no right threatening you.

violetwallflower532 07/23/2013

Tbh. No I don't. I got scared and deleted them. He tried to talk to me again awhile back tho from a fake account. He's done that several times.

Join the Conversation

First
1
2
3
Last