What a tragedy for everyone involved. I am so sorry that this happened to you. Unfortuntely this happens more than most people realize. I have been in law enforcement for many years and I have been seen and investigated many accidents involving alcohol. However there is so much that you can do to prevent people from drinking and driving just by sharing your story. You clearly have taken responsibility for your actions. Now you need to forgive yourself so that you can be the best you possible. Until you do that you will never move past it. I don't think that is what the person who died, or his family would want for you. You made a huge error in judgement and you have paid the price for it. Do not let this define you in a negative way. You deserve better than that. The biggest gift you can give the family of the person that died is to forgive yourself and educate others. If you can save even one persons life with your story that you have done an amazing thing and will be a hero in someone else's life.. I believe you can do that, you just need to believe that as well. My heart and thought are with you. Thank you for sharing your story, I know it had to be difficult to do...

Wow this is a terrible burden to carry. Somehow you have to try to forgive yourself. do you have support? go to therapy? these things are cruicial and you deserve to live you life that is what the other person would want. I know I would if I was the one who passed. I believe God does things for a reason and we need to find the good in everything. I think if you educate young kids by telling your story like Elizabeth said you will feel better. Take care and let me know if you need to talk.

Ouch, owie and ouch again.

hugs and healing

Thank you everyone. I am really trying to forgive myself, I 've been struggling with this part though. Therapy is helping and everyday it seems to get a little better.

yes, a tough something to live with.

Cliches and shallow comments are not appropriate.

Maybe, just maybe, though - . . and I believe in God and spiritual destiny, so this might not set well with you, I don't know - but if, just IF that father, that grandfather, on his way to church, helping the needy, was right with God, maybe it was his time to be taken home. There is a scripture that says 'a righteous man perishes, but none take it to heart - but he perished, to be saved from the evil that was to come'. What if alzheimer's or parkinsons or whatever was coming down the pike for him? What if God uses the righteous once they're in heaven, to wage war for those still here on earth? What IF your destiny is to impact thousands? Don't you know the enemy would hit you with something so devastating, that it could almost take you out? Something he could torment you with, whispering in your ear all your life 'you're guity!' But forgiveness is had to receive (and hard to give) and hard to comprehend, but it is so powerful, and it is so real. Please consider reading John and Stasi Eldredge's books - Wild at Heart is the first one John wrote for men; Captivating is the one written by John and Stasi for women. There are many more written since then. The whole plan, all the while, has been to shut our hearts down, and the battle rages on. A loving healing forgiving God calling to us and a devil, jealous of all mankind and of God, hurling arrows to wound us, with the intent to injure us so badly, we close our hearts. Sending you hugs! Maybe you need to hear these words . .. so I will say them, "I forgive you".

I just came to read this post by chance; forgive me if I've nothing really to add, I just want to let you know that I have a lot of sympathy for you, and hope you can find the strength to forgive yourself. The burden you carry within your soul may be overwhelming and appear as an eternal clear-cut verdict of "guilty" of your character. However, I do not view you as that in any way - rather you are someone who has accepted responsibility on their part, which in my opinion is a greater proof of your character than any past faults. And that makes me respect you a lot as a person. It shows you're neither evil nor damned, but a sensible and caring individual.

I wish you all the very best from the bottom of my heart & a lot of strength for your healing!

Your story is hearbreaking for everyone involved-including you. You never intended for this to happen and I think that counts for something. You are not a bad person. You are a person who made a terrible mistake. Nothing can change what happened, but your willingness to share is a big step towards healing. My thoughts are with you!

Also, I have a 17 year old. She is impulsive sometimes and makes bad choices sometimes. That is part of being a teenager. I am so sorry that this happened to YOU and all the people involved.

thank you dbpalm im trying hard to forgive myself but that is where I am stuck at the moment. thank you for forgiving me. Revery, thank you just comment is enough, i apprechate that you took the time to write something and it means a lot to me. HBE 123 thank you for thinking of me as not a bad person, it really helps to hear this. I hope your 17 year old realizes the gravity of their actions without having to endure something as hard as what I did. I see it in my younger sister now she is 17 as well and it scares the hell out of me. i am trying to show her by example to be a better person and make better choices than I did at that age.

Hmm...
I wonder if you had ever thought of public speaking about what you did and how bad you feel about it...as a public-service to discourage drunk driving among teens?
I'm wondering if that could be a part of atoning and self-forgiveness for you...

I'm also wondering if you'd ever tried to tender regrets and apologies to the family...not that they have to accept those.

Sometimes apologies, knowing the person who wronged you feels deep remorse, can ease the burden.

I just...have a hard time forgiving myself for things if I haven't made amends to the person I have wronged, is all.

I did write letters to the man I killed and to his son I never sent them obviously but I do think about writing something to his family. I would like to do public speaking of some kind and talk about everything and hopefully inspire someone not to drink and drive and so forth. thank you for your comment hylierandom