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On Freedom
from The Prophet
by Kahlil Gibran
"In truth that which you call freedom is the strongest of these chains [which enslave], though its links glimmer in the sun and dazzle your eyes.
And what is it but fragments your own self you would discard that you may become free?"
end quote
An especially gnarly string of "Free Debates" was a catalyzing trigger in my recent psychotic episode. Only a trigger. A trigger cannot catalyze that which was not primed and ready to go off. I have no desire to recall what all the debaters were arguing to be free of. The Free Debates seem to be fill-in-the-blank debates. Stick any old word in front of the "free" and you have debate enough to get you through the most boring of events and a crusade worthy of filling the coming year.
The meditations which held me steady during the psychotic break led me here. How many pieces of myself have I attempted to "discard that [I] may become free" of traumatic memories?
The same passage hopes to let "...these things girdle your life and yet you rise above them naked and unbound."
I have not yet achieved simplicity, but I feel invited to embrace something I have been fighting.
Thank you for letting me babble.
from The Prophet
by Kahlil Gibran
"In truth that which you call freedom is the strongest of these chains [which enslave], though its links glimmer in the sun and dazzle your eyes.
And what is it but fragments your own self you would discard that you may become free?"
end quote
An especially gnarly string of "Free Debates" was a catalyzing trigger in my recent psychotic episode. Only a trigger. A trigger cannot catalyze that which was not primed and ready to go off. I have no desire to recall what all the debaters were arguing to be free of. The Free Debates seem to be fill-in-the-blank debates. Stick any old word in front of the "free" and you have debate enough to get you through the most boring of events and a crusade worthy of filling the coming year.
The meditations which held me steady during the psychotic break led me here. How many pieces of myself have I attempted to "discard that [I] may become free" of traumatic memories?
The same passage hopes to let "...these things girdle your life and yet you rise above them naked and unbound."
I have not yet achieved simplicity, but I feel invited to embrace something I have been fighting.
Thank you for letting me babble.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
very beautiful read I am happy to read your babbles
Thanks, arfie. Stay free.
We can't cut the cords of who we are w/out diminishing ourselves.
Keeping all of what we are, and building from this a story of strength and survival, to me is much more satisfying than trying to scrape away/cut away unwanted memories.
To me a scar can be a very beautiful thing, It represents trial and triumph. Scars and horrors overcome, are a part of what I am. I don't hide from or celebrate this, but this helps me be grateful to be physically safer for now.
For me simplicity and peace are the acceptance of unending complexity.
The one thing that is most painful is realizing the letting go part and admitting to yourself that you are not crazy and alone. Admitting help is half the battle.
Isolating is one of my personal demons. Letting other humans into my personal zone at all is a personal challenge for me.
Humans are pack animals by nature. Our very essence cries out to belong to the pack.
Hm-m-m...
The only pack I really like being a part of is this one, a fine pack indeed. The finest. The very best.
And I always like seeing your lone wolf avatar, myself.