It's never good to stay in toxic situations. Hugs.

I am SO much happier with my birth family out of me life. I wish you the same. Forgiveness, etc. will come, but just for today be gentle with yourself and have a good day. God bless.

Continued support while you sort, Jenny. Sort freely. Sort often. It is a process, not an event.

I live 500 miles from my family and that is a very good thing. I call when I feel like it. I have cousins not far from where I live but we don't have any contact. I have some in laws I talk with. It's my friends I have the most contact with. I hope you the best.

I had to walk away from mine, too. Going solo is hard, but when it's the right thing it's just the right thing. You're right about the grief, I think I teach so many grief counseling classes at community college in part because of my own grief over my original family and my having to leave them behind for my own safety and wellness. I still miss them and love them even as I accepted they were toxic and I had to stay away. Forgiveness is importance, starting with forgiving yourself both for having to be the one to make the break and for missing them even as you do it. Much support to you.

Well done for protecting urself. U deserve to be treated better.

Gentle hugs <3

((((Jenny))))

You have my full support for taking care of yourself and protecting yourself from being undermined, ignored, disregarded and harmed. As painful as it is, it is the right thing to do, so bravo.

Gentle hugs

Thanks for the support. I talked to a distant cousin today, we've been in contact for a couple years now, and she confided in me that she was exactly where I am years ago with her own mom. She said she would be there whenever I needed to talk and gsve me some good advice. Like be careful who you discuss this with because they can unknowingly do some major damage in the healing process of this all. To work on silencing guilt and finding outlets to release the bad memories. Any other helpful tips to keep moving forward?

I left my parents so I could save myself and hard as it was, I made the right decision. Stay strong. You are doing the right thing

Another member of the "walked away" club. My dad's family and I are not cmopatible. Not if I want to be okay. I find therapy is where bad memories get a lot of outlet, but that's b/c I need to do that in a controlled environment with a trained pro, or things get hinky in my head and that's not good.

I felt guilt for years, but thens omething happened so awful that I realized my walking away from my dad's family was the healthiest move I could've possibly made. It was weird, b/c after eing raised from birth to think in terms of how vital the family was to my own existence.... I got to feel *free* of that. No idea if that makes snese, but .... Yeah. Maybe Al-Anon says it best with love from a safe distance. Or at least compassion.... I cannot bring myself to more with my dad's family.

Thx jlost, I understand what you're saying and I'm glad it gets better. Leo that part about believing they make up our existence is so key in all of this. True they helped create us but that part doesn't matter when we R stuck being miserable. The decision feels right for sure but I know there will be days of wavering and lots of guilt because it wasn't all Bad, there are some pretty epic memories I have too. The clincher was the waves of bad stuff, the ups and downs and my inability to not care. Being happy if they're happy and being down when they're down. I need emotional independence. I work so hard on my one sensitive son to own his own emotions, not mine or his dad's because when I see him do that it breaks my heart for him. I deserve the same. Thanks again everyone.

You made a good decision. The bottom line is if we can't cut the tie that binds us to selfish, dysfunctional, hurtful family members, then we can't heal. You deserve to find some peace after everything you've been through. You are stronger than you probably ever thought, or you wouldn't have survived it all. Now use that strength to make a new and better life for yourself. This is your chance to soar above it all and reach new heights.