I know people that swear stress kills, including me. When I was working at a high stress job, cause of one person, I would have a Diverticulitis attack every 4 months like clockwork. As soon as I retired they quit. Lots of other people on a different forum blame stress for most of their problems. There is no doubt in my mind that stress could be a factor in just about everything.

Yes, gall bladder, high blood pressure, now some kind of autoimmune disorder that causes arthritis. I kind of think the pain will clear up once I am clear of one big pain in the ass!

Now that I am not currently in counseling, I try to lessen my stress, with reading, meditation, and planning my escape.

I hope you feel better. I don't really have any experience with headaches. I get them from the meds, but not that bad.

L4S

I can't really offer advice on the migraines other than to say - go easy on yourself. It's not your fault and being "disgusted" with yourself for something you can't help will only ADD to your stress.

Acceptance has helped me a great deal in reducing stress levels. Accepting what has happened to me (I don't mean accepting that it was ok, just that it happened) and how I feel about it.

You didn't ask for it, you didn't cause it - beating yourself up for it won't help.

In my marriage of 20 years I developed migraines, which I rarely have now, severe depression, stomach ulcers, high blood pressure, jaw problems from grinding my teeth at night (which I no longer do).... yes stress definitely causes physical symptoms. No question about it.

there have been many posts here about the fact that nearly all of us here have stress related illness. Sometimes many of them. alcoholism, drug use, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, crohns, Ibs, obesity, depression, self injury, liver disease, on and on. Stress kills and abuse makes us ill.

As I got older I found that at times of stress I'd have a spell of irritable bowel syndrome. I didn't realise it was due to stress and worrying, and thought I was actually ill with something else until I went to my doctor and talked it all through. It was just such a different way for worry to manifest itself. I am lucky now in that I am (mostly) able to use it as a wake-up call and a signal to start taking better care of myself emotionally and mentally. Not every time though... If I feel a spell of IBS coming on I do try to actively do physical things that will heal it (for me a cup of herbal tea instead of my usual vat of coffee ;-) ) and if I do that actively I find that everything seems to feel better. Sitting with that cup of green tea in peace and telling myself 'this is to take care of YOU' etc helps a wee bit. There are other little things I do like light a lavender scented candle (lavender isn't for everyone but works for me), take time to make myself a really nice meal; do some activity that I love and all the while, with each little thing, tell myself that it's about making me feel better. 'Chicken soup for the soul' kind of approach..... :-)
I'm sorry you have such horrible headaches; its not a physical symptom I get so can't offer any tips specific to that.

oh yeah, I used to have the irritable bowel problem too, all the time.. haven't had that in the last two years. I agree, getting away from the stressor and taking care of yourself will help... I was foolish enough to get into another abusive realationship (a worse one) 6 months after I seperated from my husband. That lasted about a year. I'm now completely single for about a year now and feel better emotionaly and physically than I ever remember. I'm planning to stay single, at least for the forseeable future, and just working on me and figuring out what makes me happy.

Now that it was mentioned, I get the Irritable Bowel syndrome as well and have even noticed that I can get it as soon as I have argued with my ex abusers or they have tried to reappear in my life after being gone for awhile. I always chalked it up to nerves?
I feel my depression is bigger than my recent abusers and relates back to my childhood and things that went on then, and maybe even my migraines as I had them then as well. Perhaps a defense mechanism in an odd way? To try to stop the sexual abuse? Not sure really.
I never heard back from the counselor that does home visits even though I got the lady that works with him my phone number, I guess I need to check on that again. :(
Perhaps she just got busy herself.

Stress kills like a drop of battery acid a day...little by little.

When you've learned fear and anger, you'll find that those things are like a fire that burn your internal house to the ground, if you don't keep a lid on them...or use them in a proper way.

I highly recommend, "The Primal Scream" by Arthur Janov.

Trauma teaches us.

Thank you for the recommendation Tigertales. I made a note of it and I will be sure to see if I can find it either at our local library or there is a book store not far from me that may carry it. I appreciate that. :)

That book, and that author, have been around for a long time.

Go to YouTube and search "Arthur Janov". The Veterans Administration uses quite a number of his Trauma Principles. His wife does some good lecturing as well and it will make sense to you this mind-emotion-body-stress tie.

The process starts very early in life. As you become aware of how it all works, you'll learn how to AVOID stress and you'll find that your free-standing stress will resolve over the period of a few years.

It all ties into how you've been trained via trauma...and how your own self belief system works.

The WAY we think dictates much of WHAT we think.

oh gawd.. I had so much garbage going on inside me when I was in my abusive marriage.. insomnia.. teeth grinding and clicking..hair falling out.. couldn't eat.. caught every cold and flu going around..

I have been out for exactly one year. sleep like a baby..hair coming back in (I THINK, anyways.. at least I don't see clumps coming out when I brush.. hopefully it's all coming back!)..I haven't had one cold of flu in an entire year...

I am feeling SO much better!

I used a lot of EFT to relieve stress-and it's good for specific things.. go onto youtube and type in 'EFT migraine' and see what you get..

Thank you for the advice rachelrachel, I will try that on youtube for sure.
:)

You might want to download the Neuroprogrammer-3 and try the "hypnotic/relax" algorythm for some stress relief.

Psychoacoustics can work much like EMDR.

I don't know why this is publicized more, but repeated emotional and physical trauma can cause damage to the hippocampus part of the brain.

This is me paraphrasing what I heard & read and it is definitely the condensed version.

According to some researchers, repeated trauma doesn't allow the hippocampus to register a time stamp or the context of what happened. So any trauma that happened in the past is stored w/o context or a time frame. So when a situation happens that reminds the brain of the previous trauma, it processes it as an immediate threat & sets off an inner alarm. For example: A vet is walking down the street and car backfires. The vet's brain can't tell the difference from the backfire and a bomb that went off when s/he was in a war zone. So the vet instinctively dives for cover. Hence PTSD. (this is a very simplified explanation)

Researchers have documented the loss of neurons and as much as 20% shrinkage of the hippocampus in children & adults who suffer abuse & other emotional trauma. This can result in the inability to see all of one's choices or options when it comes to leaving and when looking toward the future, among other things.


if this research is true, it would certainly explain a lot, especially why so many think they can't make it on their own & that no one will believe them or help them. It could also explain why some stay & why others leave & come back so many times. It could also explain some aren't able to see that the abuser can't/won't change and/or why some hang on to the 'good' part of the abuser. And finally, IMHO, it could explain why the longer we go NC, the more clearly we start to see things.....

These researches say is hope in reversing the damage. Hypnosis, EFT, guided imagery and other forms of therapy can reverse the damage. I know hypnosis, guided imagery and EFT have made a HUGE difference in my life.


Sources: Google "trauma & hippocampus", "Dr. J Bremnan", "Dr. Victor Carrion" and "david hartman hippocampus."