Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I left my husband THREE years ago. He was a wonderful husband and father for more than twenty years and then he began to abuse prescription drugs and his alcohol intake increased exponentially. He became verbally abusive to myself and to my daughter. After almost six months of it, she and I left. (She was 15)
Oddly, once I left him, I couldn't exactly see anymore how bad it was and I began to grieve the loss of the marriage. I spent more than a year explaining to him, grieving for him, begging him to seek help, begging him to take me back, and all the while he continued the verbal abuse every single day over the phone and I took it. (He is in the military and an ocean separated us)
I spent the next year going through the whole separation and then divorce process, accepting that it was over, but STILL having very emotional, abusive conversations and a couple of visits that turned out awful.
My therapist said that I am in desperate need of NC. For real. Once and for all. My pattern tends to be that I am okay for a few days and then I call and let him abuse me for a few more days and then I stop for a few days before I forget how bad it really is and it starts again.
I need a daily check in place. Can I use this thread as a daily check in on the no contact? I would like to add that while I am currently working on NC now, my goal to truly sever contact will begin Dec. 26. I don't want to fail as I know he will call on Christmas and I fear the emotion of it will cause me to answer. MAYBE I won't and that would be grand.
Right now it has been 1 DAY, 10 HOURS, and 58 MINUTES
Oddly, once I left him, I couldn't exactly see anymore how bad it was and I began to grieve the loss of the marriage. I spent more than a year explaining to him, grieving for him, begging him to seek help, begging him to take me back, and all the while he continued the verbal abuse every single day over the phone and I took it. (He is in the military and an ocean separated us)
I spent the next year going through the whole separation and then divorce process, accepting that it was over, but STILL having very emotional, abusive conversations and a couple of visits that turned out awful.
My therapist said that I am in desperate need of NC. For real. Once and for all. My pattern tends to be that I am okay for a few days and then I call and let him abuse me for a few more days and then I stop for a few days before I forget how bad it really is and it starts again.
I need a daily check in place. Can I use this thread as a daily check in on the no contact? I would like to add that while I am currently working on NC now, my goal to truly sever contact will begin Dec. 26. I don't want to fail as I know he will call on Christmas and I fear the emotion of it will cause me to answer. MAYBE I won't and that would be grand.
Right now it has been 1 DAY, 10 HOURS, and 58 MINUTES
Silent Treatment In the Narcissists mind, you are still their property and they believe its just a matter of time before you come to your senses. Therefore, a common tactic is for them to execute the Silent Treatment. This might seem counterintuitive at first, but the truth is that many people do not implement No Contact in its true form, and often leave their phone, email, and social networks open in case the Narcissist tries to contact them. Then, when the victim doesnt receive any form of contact from the Narcissist, they begin to think the break-up may possibly have been their fault, after all. In an ironic twist of events, the victim who implemented No Contact then feels rejected by the Narcissistand often will contact the N with a text or Facebook message. Oddly, the Silent Treatment from the N then results in the victim asking their abuser to come back to them.
I went Limited Contact with my abuser for years because of shared custody with our daughter. In retrospect I wish I would have gotten the courts involved in communication about our daughter, because the abuse continued weekly, as bad as ever for years, making it impossible for healing. Even now I do not adhere to the strictest form of no contact, because some of my family still is in contact with my abuser and I haven't cut them off, and I still check the email folder where his emails get dumped, even though I no longer read them when I get them. Haven't gotten an email since October, so may be he's finally going to leave me alone. I can only hope.