Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Had a crazy week last week. I am 38 years old and a mother. All my life I have been attacked verbally by this woman (step-mom) and she has brain washed and lies to my dad and half-siblingsd into believing I am out to destroy their marriage and basically making me out to be a terrible person in front of him and my half-brothers and sisters all the time.
I basically had enough and said to myself I needed to divorce them for my well being. Mentally and physically I have been exhausted. I need to concentrate on my children and their well being. I honestly thought a couple times that I was going in sane.
My dad recently shut the phone on my face and said, I told her to divorce him. Why would I do it now and not when I was a rebellious teen??? I have better things to do with my life.
I also have been in contact with my birth mom 2 years ago, which she just found out and is furious with me. She claims I back-stabbed her and my children are going to be f'd up because they know the truth.
How she found out you ask? My father told her after asking me not to tell her because of her reaction ...the nerve of that man. Now none of the half siblings want to talk to me.
My question to you all great people. DId I back stab her or lie to her? I have been married for 20 years and have children of my own. This is my right I think to find my birth mom. My other sister did not see my birth mom when she came to visit. Mainly, because she was not verbally abused like I was by the step mom all these years.
I have been depressed and emotional all week and want to break through this cycle. I know step mom wants to get rid of me once and for all. I am doing her a favour. I want to live a happy and normal life with my children. What do you all think? Am I doing the right thing?
Thank you so much in advance for your support!
I basically had enough and said to myself I needed to divorce them for my well being. Mentally and physically I have been exhausted. I need to concentrate on my children and their well being. I honestly thought a couple times that I was going in sane.
My dad recently shut the phone on my face and said, I told her to divorce him. Why would I do it now and not when I was a rebellious teen??? I have better things to do with my life.
I also have been in contact with my birth mom 2 years ago, which she just found out and is furious with me. She claims I back-stabbed her and my children are going to be f'd up because they know the truth.
How she found out you ask? My father told her after asking me not to tell her because of her reaction ...the nerve of that man. Now none of the half siblings want to talk to me.
My question to you all great people. DId I back stab her or lie to her? I have been married for 20 years and have children of my own. This is my right I think to find my birth mom. My other sister did not see my birth mom when she came to visit. Mainly, because she was not verbally abused like I was by the step mom all these years.
I have been depressed and emotional all week and want to break through this cycle. I know step mom wants to get rid of me once and for all. I am doing her a favour. I want to live a happy and normal life with my children. What do you all think? Am I doing the right thing?
Thank you so much in advance for your support!
"I didnt choose my family, no one does. But that doesnt give family the right to continually belittle, harass and undermine me in overt and subtle ways. If you were friends, I would have disowned you all years ago. But because you all are family, I had the mistaken notion that I owed you blind allegiance. That illusion is now done and Im removing myself as the family victim. Going forward, the only family victim will be the person who is willing to play the role. If mom wants to take that over, that is her decision.
Youre absolutely right about one thing, though. I have realized after all these years that I cant change anyone else, only myself. Therefore I am removing myself from the chaos. If you wish to continue to participate in it, thats your decision, and something youll have to answer for and explain to your own children in the future. As for me, I am teaching my children that there are healthy boundaries even within a family. Most importantly, Im teaching them to trust their feelings, and that loving someone doesnt mean that they should accept hurt and pain.
From here on out, I am blocking phone numbers, emails and any and all communication. I wish you all well, but I and my family will no longer participate in crazymaking behaviors."
Then I would move forward and block phone numbers, emails, etc. Change your phone number if you have to. Send written communications back unopened 'return to sender' or failing that, throw them away unopened. Do whatever you need to to remain focused, strong and healthy for yourself.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Big hugs and kisses to you ((((HUG)))))
Two years ago after my dad tried, actually choked me twice, I cut him off compeletely. I called him not long ago just to see where he was in his head about me and he had no idea why I stopped talking with him! He could never admit any wrong doing and his psycho wife can have him now! They are such a sad volatile family it is so sad.
My life has been sooooo much better without his guilt trips and always making me feel like a failure.
I am even considering doing the same with my siblings for a while as they show no care for me lately, Maybe they think I did wring of cutting my dad out of my life. I am a single mom, they know about what my ex has put me through and I get NO messages or calls or anything from them. When I was always there when they needed me...