Hay, I divorced my Family and life is nice and quiet. Much more serenity in my world! I divorced my Mother over 15 years ago. I divorced my Dad last November and my only brother - who are both narcissistic sociopaths and alcoholic thinking.

My sister - grew up in the same house as me - so I know exactly why she says what she says - she is overdramatic and the martyr victim - she learned well from "Mother."

It's YOUR life, not your step-monster's. In other words, It is NONE OF HER BUSINESS! Especially, since she chooses to be non-supportive.

You have nothing to lose by walking away and all of your sanity to gain. Get rid of her! She is the problem, not you!

Just my experience.

Also, these people do not go away. They believe that they have every right to meddle in your life.

You have children that do not need to experience or witness their mom insane from the family bullying.

Step away for a week and see how you feel. Block their phone numbers - can be done temporarily or as long as you want. Their opinions of your life are not acceptable. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing.

I am so done with Bullies - if you can't tell. lol.

Thanks Whadahay!!! You are absolutely right! It's been a week and I love the new transformed me. I am less anxious and depressed. I am not lashing out at my kids. I am rid of them for good.

Especially, my full sister. She kept sending messages asking, why I was not responding. When I finally replied, telling her I am done with the family. She took step monsters side saying, "It's too much for her to swallow." ( Meanwhile, I just found out step- monster already knew, by this same full sister she had told her two years ago.) As well asks why there is always drama with me . Well, the story why she accepts my sister and not me is because my sister buys her gifts like trips to Cuba. Wake up sister!!!!! I buy her gifts but only on special occasions. I can't afford trips to Cuba let alone sending someone there.

Also, said, " I told you you should have told her 2 years ago." After the reply she ends it off like kiss those innocent children. Hello.. I was that innocent child once and my children will be fine without all the drama but of course I didn't reply. I am done.

Thank you again Whadahay you did make me feel stronger. Knowing I am not the only one in the world who feels like this. Look forward to more of your posts and helping others too.

Rid yourself of their toxicity.
They sound like emotional abusers big time.

You don't even know the half of it.

Wow! Sounds like my family. I believe my mom is a narcissistic sociopath, and my sister is just an attention-seeking drama queen. My family spends most of their time talking about each other behind their backs. I moved to another state and don't talk to my relatives much any more. Life is much more peaceful now. My brother pretty much cut all ties to the family years ago and he seems happy and well-adjusted. I should have done the same a long time ago.

This is their "crazymaking" behavior, which is designed to make you feel exactly the way you feel right now. Do people that truly love each other treat each other like this? I don't believe so. It doesn't matter if you want to call your birth mother or whomever. IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS! This is a benefit of being an adult, you don't NEED to tell or apologize to anyone! Simply because they have you believing that you SHOULD and owe them something (remorse, apology, etc) is main overriding reason this is a toxic relationship for you to continue.

I disowned my only sibling.

Doing that was one of the huge
initial steps that put me on a
journey to healing.

All the best to you.

Take good care.

Thank you all for replying!!!
@duality5272...do you feel guilty by not talking to them? I want to rid them for good then part of me is afraid that my children might do the same to me one day! Is that crazy talk or what?
@ehope...You are absolutely right it was toxic having a relationship with her. She would say things like, "I worked hard raising you and this is thanks." " I had to leave my country for you two." (Well, no one told you to marry a married man with children.) My birth mother left the country after finding out and tried to get us back but couldn't. Of course I found this out a couple years ago. And of course I did not hold a grudge I was still civil with my step-mom. That was in the past and I let go. I know for a fact that all they are doing know is cursing my name. I was thinking of seeing a therapist. For now I'm just meditating.
@illeneW... I have read a lot of people are so much happier and at peace when they cut people that cause their pain. I must say I am at peace not having any more short breaths is great. My children would mention one of my family members name and I get this sick feeling in my stomach. I wish them all the best just leave me a lone to be happy with or with out my birth mom. You are right it is no ones business but my own. Thank you.

I love this site and wish all a thank you for your support. I read these comments over and over to overcome my fears and anxiety.

I am in a similar situation. I keep my distance from my mother.
I don't have a relationship with my sister at all. i don't miss the verbal
abuse. I used to be really depressed but now I am happy. I had to put myself first. It was hard at first but it gone easier. Hugs

Why is that people think that just because you are related by blood they have any right to treat you less then you deserve.

Toxic people are toxic people. Do not feel bad. you need to do what is best for you.

Do what you think it best for you. This is your life so do what you need to do to ensure your own happiness, and if that means cutting some family off, then do it. I have had to distance myself greatly from my mom. It's been a very painful process but sharing information with her has proven to be very detrimental to my life. She won't ever change, and I have to just focus on myself and getting to a better place in life. My younger sister stopped talking to her several years ago. I wish I had been as wise, but I wasn't.

I had the same feelings of guilt when I wanted to stop contact with my "mother." I went to counseling that was free through work. And this counseler's words were, "You don't have to talk to them if their words are made to hurt and make you feel so bad." I guess what I needed was permission ... and to not feel guilty. It was like a big fat monkey fell off my back.

Thanks @NYdaisy @eyesopen33@Whadahay. I keep telling myself I need to focus on me because no-one will. I am on a 21 day cleanse that has proved to change my physical, mind and spirit into a newer me. Hope it works.

It was my full sisters birthday yesterday. This is the first year that I didn't call and wish her a happy birthday. A part of me was happy and the other guilty. But this morning I felt I did the right thing she would have just ranted on how she begged me to tell step-monster two years ago. I guess it's true things happen for a reason. I love this site. I honestly thought I was the only person in the world going through this. I was thinking of counseling Whadahay just don't have time with a 2 year old at home. You ladies are like my therapy. Thanks again.

Well just to update everyone today I get an e-mail from my full sister that put me back in feeling sick phase. I think I'm getting the anxiety attacks. My stomach feels sick and my head numb. This is what she said in the e-mail::Really?? How?? We are FAMILY here ??

Don't say you didn't get my text for Eid either wishing you Eid Mubarak!!! I didn't expect a response but REALLY!!!??? I thought maybe you would try and contact at least Mom for Eid. Whether she welcomes it or not, I cannot speak for her but at least a reach out I would have expected from you. She is the victim here not you. FACE THE MUSIC and then DEAL!

I gave you space but this is now ridiculous.

We always said we never wanted to have our children raised without seeing their cousins as we did and what are you doing? Why do you have to be like this? You always say that you are the oldest and want to be respected and followed but you are not setting the right example to earn the respect you feel you deserve.

You have the beef with Mom and Dad - grow up and deal with it once and for all. You need to mold to deal with their lifestyle and behaviour.....you cannot change anyone. You made a mistake(s)...fess up and DEAL with. I know you tried but remember everyone process hurt and shock differently.

If you are not liking what you are hearing.....voice it.....if you are being wronged......speak up........if truth of your mistakes are surfacing.....admit them and apologize. Shutting out is making you look really bad and especially if your true intentions were clean.

This is your choice however so if this is how you want things between your siblings and your only parents that are worth your efforts, then so be it but remember YOUR CHOICE!

Just explain one thing to me, what do your sisters and brothers have to do with any of this?

I hope you come to your senses real soon and reconnect with the ONLY FAMILY you have outside of your own of course. Nothing is more important in life. Friends are loaned and as you once said, friends have expiry dates.......FAMILY DO NOT AND SHOULD NOT!

I truly hope your children and family are all in good health and safe."


I thought I would be out of this controlling narcisstic family they are sucking me in again. What do I do???? I want so bad to bad mouth her but I figure I would just add to the fire and give them satisfaction.