Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hello, I am writing here after a hiatus of several years. All since the original Daily Strength tanked and our little group was forceably disbanded. We used to be very active and involved. When was that? 5 or 6 years ago? I have only just realized that the site is still in existence and am wondering about some of my old friends on here. And I miss journaling very very much.
Small history. My original user name was FarAndAway, which is still apparently valid, but it will not let me log in. So whatever. I am registered now as a different user.
My abuse story is my marriage and subsequent divorce from a narcissistic husband. We were married 17 years, three beautiful children. I moved with him to his native country and all hell broke loose. That was in 2008 and I don't know how I would have survived the whole ordeal without the help of my beautiful online friends (from Daily Strength and, before that, Wordslinger). Now all three of my kids are over 18 and I have zero contact with my horrible destructive ex-husband since about 2016, although he is actively searching for me from what I hear. I'm actually starting to feel like I will be okay, like I want to live.
I see that the group is pretty quiet these days, but anyway, I am back and sending lots of love to all of you, new and old alike!
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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I don't know how to advise you, but I will make one comment. You heard your daughter and acted accordingly. This is a very important step and one that will have an impact on her as she grows up. You put her first and protected her. Not every mother would do that.
My daughter also had some sexual abuse (not her father) along with all of the drama and uncertainty that has gone on since she was 4 years old (she is 18 now). She has had therapy with a number of psychologists and one psychiatrist. Honestly, only one of them helped her significantly, and that was mostly just getting her through day to day when she was younger. Actual healing and moving on are more elusive. She is very immature for her age, withdrawn and insecure. Although (if I'm being honest) I have felt resentment towards her over the years for being so stubborn and recalcitrant, I have realized that the most important thing is to actively love her and support her, no matter how glacially slow her progress is. My unwavering support is the most important thing right now.
In the words of Kahlil Gibran:
"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
I was also married to an abusive guy. He demanded creepy bedroom activities. When I finally divorced him, he did parental alienation. He is now older and very unhealthy. I am so glad I divorced him and moved forward in my life. We've also had abusive relatives and adult children. Life is sometimes very tough.
The poem by Kahlil Gibran is a favorite of mine.
My ex-husband tried to get custody and tried the parental alienation thing as well, but the kids were cared for 90% by me, so it luckily didn't work. Thank God it's over.
Now I'm trying to move forward in my life. I was very strong throughout the last 10 years, but inside, the whole experience reduced me to a quivering pile of jelly. I don't quite know where to go from here. I'm just enjoying my relative peace at the moment.