Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
It has been a long few days, been pretty much stuck in the house with a snow storm.
I went to the grocery store Thursday night to get last minute items before it got bad and the next thing I know, he is in the store asking me about some kind of juice I bought that he couldn't seem to find. I directed him to the juice aisle and moved on to the checkout. Next thing, he is behind me in the checkout saying they didn't have it there, being extremely polite,and when the cashier asked him about my preferred method of sacking making a joke about if he had a right to answer for me. In the end, he carried the groceries through the sleet and in to my hatch. I just got in, started the car, said a quick thanks and left just as quick.
I stopped through a drive thru on my way home to pick up some other items and there he was, behind me in line. I got out of there in record time, trying to get home before anything else occurred. He called and left a funny message saying how the cashier in the drive thru said it was deja vu because we ordered the same items. He joked that, "yeah, that's my wife, we have the same tastes." He was laughing on his message that this was the funniest thing.
Subsequently, the kids and I have been snowed in since. It has been the hardest time since I left. Partly, I was left with this parting shot and all I could think was that it just really is not funny to be joking about what was once shared and is no longer.
It is the most lonely I have been, so much quiet and no school, running around town, visiting family etc., as well as the thoughts of how nice it would be to have a nice caring husband to care for you and cuddle through the snow days.
My goal for today is to clean house, read for a school paper, play with the kids; see if I can fill the time with more productivity and fun and less negative thoughts.
I went to the grocery store Thursday night to get last minute items before it got bad and the next thing I know, he is in the store asking me about some kind of juice I bought that he couldn't seem to find. I directed him to the juice aisle and moved on to the checkout. Next thing, he is behind me in the checkout saying they didn't have it there, being extremely polite,and when the cashier asked him about my preferred method of sacking making a joke about if he had a right to answer for me. In the end, he carried the groceries through the sleet and in to my hatch. I just got in, started the car, said a quick thanks and left just as quick.
I stopped through a drive thru on my way home to pick up some other items and there he was, behind me in line. I got out of there in record time, trying to get home before anything else occurred. He called and left a funny message saying how the cashier in the drive thru said it was deja vu because we ordered the same items. He joked that, "yeah, that's my wife, we have the same tastes." He was laughing on his message that this was the funniest thing.
Subsequently, the kids and I have been snowed in since. It has been the hardest time since I left. Partly, I was left with this parting shot and all I could think was that it just really is not funny to be joking about what was once shared and is no longer.
It is the most lonely I have been, so much quiet and no school, running around town, visiting family etc., as well as the thoughts of how nice it would be to have a nice caring husband to care for you and cuddle through the snow days.
My goal for today is to clean house, read for a school paper, play with the kids; see if I can fill the time with more productivity and fun and less negative thoughts.
Sorry you're feeling cooped up, and it's 'too quiet'. I kind of realized that at times when things seemed a bit dull and quiet, it was because I was used to the chaos created by my ex. I always had to be on the top of my game. It was easier to do that than deal with his BS...which I got anyway. Now I think, hmmm, maybe it's supposed to be this way...ah, sweet peace :)
The good news is that if you want noise and activity around, you have the power to create that in any old way you see fit. I'm glad you have some goals for today, that always helps if you're feeling a bit lost. It can be difficult being alone when you haven't been, you might just start enjoying your own company...and kids will always keep you hopping!
Stay warm
We are snowed in right now too. It really is beautiful. I get those thoughts of it would be nice to have a "loving" caring husband here too that watched out for us and then I remembered oh ya - it would of been a nightmare being stuck here with him. And he wasn't loving and caring in times like this. It is actually really nice. The kids and I rented movies and got pizza and oher goodies to enjoy and there was no stress. We ate and did what we wanted and just hung out and got the things done that needed. Yeah, it really has been nice.
There is nothing wrong with thinkinig how nice it would be to have that nice, caring husband. Just don't let your mind play tricks on you and convince you that he could have been it. Start to enjoy your own company, be proud of your own achievements and who knows, maybe down the track you will find that nice, caring husband. And if you don't, you will already be happy with yourself.
I completely identify with the longing for a loving, caring husband on quiet days. However, you need to remember that he was NOT always loving and caring. I remind myself of the arguments and the cruelty. I have called friends and asked them to remind me of examples of the cruelty. That always brings my back into reality because facts cannot be denied. I am seven months past living with him, and life is much better. I enjoy my own company when it's quiet, and I read, watch TV, play with kids, etc. Just be careful you don't hook up with someone else who is abusive because I have discovered there are a lot of losers out there and it's best to be confident and happy with your own company so you're not taken advantage of.
Hang in there! It will get better.