Welcome to the group, and congrats on getting out of an abusive relationship! Many people lack the strength of character or wisdom to do so. Healing happens gradually, a bit more each day. Even when it seems like you feel "the same" as yesterday, there are parts of your brain at work, doing healing you do not notice yet. Even if it's short term, you may want to check out talk therapy, a support group, and even meds to help get you through it. But as you yourself say, it does and will get better. May God be with you today.

you dont have to KNOW anything, just be, breathe, live, walk, clear your head, volunteer, get around normal people, go to church, just be.....

god bless xxoo

I got out of a 6+ year one myself recently, though technically still married. I ended up estranged from my friends and my family are people I don't want to be around at the moment. It's hard because if you're anything like me then your abuser was your best friend that you turned to when things went wrong, mine at least listened.

I haven't really found anything has particularly worked for me, as in up one minute and down the next, but I'm going to stick to my plan, seeing a therapist tomorrow, doing a lot of self help reading and journalling, really need to add exercise into the mix but it's hard to get motivated when you're so down...even though I know that's what will cheer me up..

The hard part is getting back into normal company and mixing with old and new friends again. Everyone seems gray after the rainbow dysfunctional whirlwind personality which is my husband. I wonder if you are having the same problem? I've heard of people who get so used to living with drama that they don't know how to go back to normal life, I might be one of them...

It is definitely a process to find a new normal. I am still in my situation, but from detaching and focusing more on myself and my boys, I am slowly making a new normal. I think that we get to a point that our brain was wired for survival, but when it doesn't have to anymore, you just end up wandering aimlessly through your days. I think that you have to slowly try and do something everyday that needs to be done, then add something like showering and getting all dressed everyday, then look for an activity to do on a schedule. I'm still working all of this out, but you just keep moving forward one step at a time and only focus on the present day. I am going to try a 30 exercise challenge soon, schedule it in every day on my phone and calendar and see where I am at the end of the 30 days. Find a schedule to follow. Most days you might even be able to follow it. But if you cannot for a day, just try again the next day. Be kind and patient with yourself, you have been through hell and made it out alive.

Hugs to you. I was in 2 long term abusive relationships, i didnt realise how bad it had been because it happens so slowly and your self confidence and self esteemn is eroded away until you start believing that all the fault lies with you..if only i had/ hadnt done/ said this or that. The healing for me started when i went to a christian domestic abuse Course and I realised just how bad things had got. It enabled me to see the wrong behaviour i had been living with and gave me the confidence to make the changes in my life that needed to happen. It didnt happen overnight but slowly but surely the broken pieces of my life came back together. I had to learn to like myself and realise my own worth first. I would recommended a Course as you will be supported and encouraged and your strength will grow. There is light at the end of the tunnel.God bless x

Thank you all for the kind words and reassurance. It is one of those things where I know that over time things will be better, but its right now in the present that is the hard part. I really appreciate your words of encouragement!

Was in an abusive relationship for ten years and have been out for almost five. I still have my days but it does get better. Don't give up. The hardest part is making new friends because that's inevitable. Thankfully, I never let him completely shut me off from my family and friends. He did try. He would say things like everyone said bad things behind my back, to my whole family was crazy. Anything to get me to feel like he was the only one I could trust. It made me isolated so it's hard making friends even now.

I was 18 years in a verbally abusive relationship which became physical a few times when he was drinking. I have been out of that marriage for 4 years now. He selfishly took his own life after we were divorced for two years, and sadly it was a big relief to me. I feared for years that he would kill me and the kids and then take his life. It is sad that his kids do not have their dad anymore, but his anger, bi-polar mind, and alcoholism won't affect us anymore.

It took a while to find myself again, but when it comes to trying a new relationship I am just done! I don't think I can ever trust someone again and I am very happy with being my own person and doing what I want to do when I want to do it.