Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
If i sat here and explained in detail every wrong thing about my relationship with my boyfriend. it would be a novel. so i will try to cut it short, i am in deep need of help and do not no where to turn. my friends are tired of hearing me "complain" so i am turning to another alternative which took some strength to share this. we have been dating on and off since we were in the 9th grade...so almost 7 years now. ever since i can remember he has been very protective. protective turned to controlling and controlling turned to anger. when we were in tenth grade he started to hit me and do awful things when i did nothing wrong, well nothing to be hit by. (this caused the on and off) after a few times of doing so, he stopped. his anger streaks kept getting worse and worse and instead of hurting me, he hurt my belongings and my feelings. i guess until the other day did i realize i really am emotionally damaged and am not happy anymore. i am continued to be sworn at crazy for doing absolutely nothing, and threatened then a day later he apoligizes but it always occurs again. its like a cycle we go through that apparently i do not have enough strength to leave it. now mixed with his anger, he does steroids every few months, and on top of this he became addicted to pills. now he blames his anger and lashing out on me on the pills but will not seek help to fix his problem. last weekend really topped it off for me as he said he would not be sad if he watched a bullet in slow motion go through my brain and that i am ugly, a cunt, a whore etc. all for going to a party (when i invited him) i was only there for 45 minutes. the next day he said sorry he didnt mean it and etc. then two days later i did something else "wrong" in his eyes. basically its a never ending cycle and i never realized until last weekend...that i am deeply upset and cant keep being put through this. i dont know what i am really asking other than an ear to listen, or advice on something like this. i know this is not a normal relationship there are 7 years of craziness that i was/am being put through and dont know where to turn anymore. you can only have so much hope until the other person keeps shattering it over and over....
But i tell you now, please do not take this advice from others with a pinch of salt on here.
When they tell you that you are in danger you really are in danger.
This is very very real. As scared as you are for whatever reason may be to admitt to yourself that your in a dangerous and abusive relation you must face that fear because i tell you what, your more braver to stay with this guy than to face facts. And if you are that brave(which you are) then it really is time for you to realise that you are stronger than you think you are and facing the truth and seeking help will be the best thing you have ever done in your entire life.
I may sound a bit out there with what i am saying but honesty is honesty and how ever out there it may sound, it needs to be said, and you need to open your ears to the advice given and take it.
I am concerned for you, and this is the first time i have ever really been seriously concerned for you.
And secondly to add to that, part of the abuse will make you dumb it down and a little voice inside your head is conditioned to say "its not that bad, maybe i am over reacting, maybe i have made it seem far worse than it is on here"
But trust me, this is the thought pattern all victoms of abuse have so please please understand that we have been there or are going through it and we really know what we are talking about, we have been there, done that and got the t-shirt and my advice is to call your local womens centre and allow yourself to start the process and be safe.
And can i point something out, he was abusive b 4 the drugs, so its nothing to do with the drugs, it is him. The drugs thing is not making things better but it is also acting as a smoke screen, and an excuse for him. Even if he gets off the drugs, he will not heal the real issue as he will never want to. Some people how ever hard it is to accept are truely not right in the head and are not the same as you and me and nothing and noone can fix him.
You need to fix yourself instead and you can do that and begin a new life by using the number provided and contacting your local centre.