Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
If i sat here and explained in detail every wrong thing about my relationship with my boyfriend. it would be a novel. so i will try to cut it short, i am in deep need of help and do not no where to turn. my friends are tired of hearing me "complain" so i am turning to another alternative which took some strength to share this. we have been dating on and off since we were in the 9th grade...so almost 7 years now. ever since i can remember he has been very protective. protective turned to controlling and controlling turned to anger. when we were in tenth grade he started to hit me and do awful things when i did nothing wrong, well nothing to be hit by. (this caused the on and off) after a few times of doing so, he stopped. his anger streaks kept getting worse and worse and instead of hurting me, he hurt my belongings and my feelings. i guess until the other day did i realize i really am emotionally damaged and am not happy anymore. i am continued to be sworn at crazy for doing absolutely nothing, and threatened then a day later he apoligizes but it always occurs again. its like a cycle we go through that apparently i do not have enough strength to leave it. now mixed with his anger, he does steroids every few months, and on top of this he became addicted to pills. now he blames his anger and lashing out on me on the pills but will not seek help to fix his problem. last weekend really topped it off for me as he said he would not be sad if he watched a bullet in slow motion go through my brain and that i am ugly, a cunt, a whore etc. all for going to a party (when i invited him) i was only there for 45 minutes. the next day he said sorry he didnt mean it and etc. then two days later i did something else "wrong" in his eyes. basically its a never ending cycle and i never realized until last weekend...that i am deeply upset and cant keep being put through this. i dont know what i am really asking other than an ear to listen, or advice on something like this. i know this is not a normal relationship there are 7 years of craziness that i was/am being put through and dont know where to turn anymore. you can only have so much hope until the other person keeps shattering it over and over....
The longer you're in an abusive relationship, the worse the damage to your confidence and self-esteem, and planning to leave is the only answer as abusers never change - except for the worse.
Keep on talking!
Hugs
This is FAR WORSE than
"not a normal relationship."
You are in EXTREME DANGER.
Here's the number for your
state's d.v. coalition:
(800) 934-9840
Please don't wait
another minute.
Call it NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you want a life
you need to:
make a SAFETY PLAN
(the women's center
will help you do that)
and
LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You've described one of the most
VIOLENTLY DANGEROUS
kinds of abusers.
YOU COULD DIE
at this man's hands.
You have a life ahead of you
UNLESS
you don't find a way
to safely escape from him.
Even if he doesn't kill you
any time soon,
your life with him
will be a LIVING HELL.
If you get pregnant by him
your child's life will be
a LIVING HELL.
(And make no mistake. . .
your child's child's life
will be at least that bad,
as well.)
Please call that number.
You're entitled to a life
of love, satisfaction and joy.
You'll get NONE OF THAT
if you don't find a way to
SAFELY
ESCAPE.
Our prayers are with you.
I URGE YOU!! Please seek local, outside assistance in this matter.
This man is dangerous. He's clearly displaying psychotic tendencies (which may or may not be the result of his drug use). It doesn't really matter why. You need to get to safety. ASAP!!!!
I've been in the hands of someone in the midst of a psychosis. The man tried to kill me in a slow, methodical way. He wanted to murder my entire family....including my 18 month old child. If fear will move you to take action to save yourself, then be afraid! You have a right to be.
YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT!!!
Please, please find a way to ESCAPE.
Contact your local battered woman shelter in your area. If they don't offer invidual counseling maybe you can attend a support group for other women also experiencing abuse, then you'll be able to talk about the abuse in a safe place.
I guess ijust feel nervous to do that because then i would be really admitting to myself that i am being emotionally abused and i feel scared to do so and dont no if i would be making a wrong decision.....
I know admitting to this is scary. But you're on the right track. Your gut instincts are working just fine...so it really isn't you that is the problem in this relationship....its definitely him. Your gut is telling you this is wrong. Don't ignore that. It isn't lying to you. It never has. Deep down inside, we always know the right thing to do for ourselves and our survival. Humans were designed that way. Listen to that inner urge...it will lead where you need to go.
LIke that couldn't happen to me. Other peoples abusers are so much worse and like he wouldn't be one of those monsters who killed me someday or anything. It is like a bad drug.
You continue for that temporary false sense of feeling comfort or loved or whatever but it's only temporary. And more destructive in the end. It's the cycle of abuse. Others may not see it or understand unless they've been in it before.
My ex blamed it on everything but himself too. But did he do anything whatsoever to change that? They don't take responsibility. Sometimes he wouldn't even bother making an excuse, just didn't say anything about it or he'd say sorry and I'm supposed to not say another word about it.
I feel stupid too for continuing with mine as long as I did. God the first time he was abusive should have been a no brainer. I thought I was strong enough. That I could love him better, help him change. I believed his lies at first. That's what they do. LIE! He lied to himself, and to me. we all think they will change, otherwise we wouldn't put up with it.
They break you down until you start blaming yourself eventually. Only if you did this or that differently, he would love you more, respect you more. You end up apologizing to him for his abuse of you. Drugs are no excuse either. And not all druggies abuse their girlfriends.
He can be angry, he can feel all sorts of things. It doesn't give him a right to hurt you like that. Or threaten you or belittle you. It's not your fault. It's not about you. It's about his dysfunction as a human being. You may never understand him or have any validation. I don't know what else to say at the moment.
I'm not in the greatest place myself lately. Mine is gone finally but it's only been a little over a month since I talked to him last and I'm now in the healing process.
Because believe me the first and most important step is getting him out of your life, but then you'll go through different and painful scary phases of healing from it all. But It's all worth it. Your life is worth it. YOU are worth it and deserve better. hugs