Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
yeah as simple as that......do they know exactly what they are doing , even if they are narcisstic also?
Many seem clueless.
Most are likely doing what
they do propelled by the
behavioral drive of an
emotional injury. This
means they do first and
think about it later.
Narcissists do what they do
because the perceive themselves
as totally entitled and genuinely
believe that whatever they decide
to do is the universe playing out
as it should.
At the end of the day, it doesn't
matter what they know or
what they intend.
If someone consistently and
continually hurts you. . . .
they're TOXIC.
Who needs toxic?!?!?!?!?!?!
GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT, even though I am positive she was aware of the hurtful things she did, she did no put two and two together. To her, those actions were justified, she was entitled, or they were "normal" and it was up to the recipient to deal with. She showed no remorse or apology for lashing out at her own 11 year old. She thought she was justified in "disciplining" her son (drunken rages are not discipline, ever). The thought she was "entitled" as a mother to raise her son the way she wanted. And she would argue that bad stuff happened to her growing up, and living through bad stuff made one stronger.
All completely FALSE assumptions on her part. The TRUTH is that she is abusive, and hurtful. But she would not admit that.
And from the evidence I have, it's very likely that I am not the first boyfriend she treated like that. It's very likely she treated her sisters like that. It's very likely coworkers have experienced that, and the students in her classroom have experienced her hurtful behavior.
I think many of them have a small kernel in their brain that occasionally considers that their behavior is hurtful. But that tiny voice creates chaos, which they choose to silence by becoming more controlling of their outside world. Their goal in life is to prove to themselves that everyone else is just as bad as them, and that their behavior and thoughts are normal.
Now that I stand up to him and "push back" he gets even angrier because HE is loosing Control. (yeah for me!) But he still knows how to push my buttons and he still gets to me sometimes. The good thing about being separated is NOT having to deal with him 24/7. Its easy to just hang up on him when he starts ranting and I don't have to return his texts either. That silent treatment he used against me all those years is now coming back to haunt him.
Please be careful.
It can feel good to
stand up to and
push back.
But an abuser losing control
becomes more and more
dangerous.
Please take good care.
He has a bear (soft toy) that his daughter bought for him many years ago.....long and complicated story, but this bear is like a member of the family.
He was expecting some visitors from Romania to his work place where he is the manager. This was a big deal and had been planned for months. The evening before they arrived, I asked if he had looked up any Romanian words that might be helpful......he hadn't even thought of doing such a thing, and I was quite surprised when he did spend a few minutes looking a few up on the internet.
In the morning, I was just doing the usual morning routine (it is fairly tight as I really don't need spare time at home when I could be elsewhere) and breezing along as best can......and I remembered that the Romanians would be there today...so I said..."oh the Romanians are coming today aren't they?"
"Yes" he replied
"Well". I foolishly continued
"One thing is for sure, they'll know more English than we know Romanian!"
He turned and said....."and so they should!"
Seeing my low level exasperation, he added "Bear said so"
I was a little (but not a lot) surprised at his reaction but carried on in breezy non-confrontational (I thought) style...but I said
"That's funny, he never says anything like that when you're not here" (he is after all a stuffed toy - I didn't say that bit)
He turned totally cold and replied
"That's because he feels intimidated and unable to voice his opinion when I'm not here"
I was almost speechless.....I think I said something like "oh ...right.
But it chilled me to the core.
It has become one of the moments I draw on when I need to remember why I am making plans.
I now have a boss who does his dirt and when I call him on it in a diplomatic and professional way, he goes in to his office and stays out of my way. He knows he did something wrong and acts like a coward that he is.
He also knows I won't put up with any BS and that my background is in a field of working with women who were emotionally abused. He knows I know the system and I will walk out on him, and talk to the proper people who can do something to help me out. He does sneaky tricks for whatever reason and although there is no excuse for it, there are a lot of non-specifics to go to the proper channels and file a complaint. But I am alert and keep track of things for my own interests. I need to protect me at all costs. I will never give up my right to defend myself against any form of abuse.
Take good care all,
Linda
My dad? I don't think he realises what he is doing, but I also know there is no way you can tell him, because he always has an excuse, a justification, a reason why it's actually the other person's fault. He's king of the "too sensitive" brigade - nobody would be hurt by his jibes and nasty "jokes" if they weren't just too sensitive. He shouldn't have to "walk on eggshells" just because those around him are all too sensitive. He's entitled to his opinions and, because he's intelligent and educated, it's just a fact that anyone who doesn't agree with him is an idiot. I think he genuinely believes his own press.
My dad? I don't think he realises what he is doing, but I also know there is no way you can tell him, because he always has an excuse, a justification, a reason why it's actually the other person's fault. He's king of the "too sensitive" brigade - nobody would be hurt by his jibes and nasty "jokes" if they weren't just too sensitive. He shouldn't have to "walk on eggshells" just because those around him are all too sensitive. He's entitled to his opinions and, because he's intelligent and educated, it's just a fact that anyone who doesn't agree with him is an idiot. I think he genuinely believes his own press.
My dad? I don't think he realises what he is doing, but I also know there is no way you can tell him, because he always has an excuse, a justification, a reason why it's actually the other person's fault. He's king of the "too sensitive" brigade - nobody would be hurt by his jibes and nasty "jokes" if they weren't just too sensitive. He shouldn't have to "walk on eggshells" just because those around him are all too sensitive. He's entitled to his opinions and, because he's intelligent and educated, it's just a fact that anyone who doesn't agree with him is an idiot. I think he genuinely believes his own press.
My dad? I don't think he realises what he is doing, but I also know there is no way you can tell him, because he always has an excuse, a justification, a reason why it's actually the other person's fault. He's king of the "too sensitive" brigade - nobody would be hurt by his jibes and nasty "jokes" if they weren't just too sensitive. He shouldn't have to "walk on eggshells" just because those around him are all too sensitive. He's entitled to his opinions and, because he's intelligent and educated, it's just a fact that anyone who doesn't agree with him is an idiot. I think he genuinely believes his own press.
My dad? I don't think he realises what he is doing, but I also know there is no way you can tell him, because he always has an excuse, a justification, a reason why it's actually the other person's fault. He's king of the "too sensitive" brigade - nobody would be hurt by his jibes and nasty "jokes" if they weren't just too sensitive. He shouldn't have to "walk on eggshells" just because those around him are all too sensitive. He's entitled to his opinions and, because he's intelligent and educated, it's just a fact that anyone who doesn't agree with him is an idiot. I think he genuinely believes his own press.
Head is fair messed up at times....but maybe sometimes he DOES see it...and sometimes he doesn't???
Who knows....?
Soon out....God willing!