Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
My mind is racing today..so please forgive if I ramble..or keep posting as new thoughts come to me.
I have known what was going on was not right for quite some time now, but had attributed it to his "evil" ex that had done him wrong. But as time passed...I started researching and reading. When I read about narcissistic relationships a light came on. THIS is what is happening..finally an answer!
OK..so now what. He is still here..and worse than ever as I am sure he knows I have caught on to him.
I want him gone..but I feel caught up in this...entangled in a net. He is not going to go easy...he has no job...no money...basically I have been supporting him for two years now. I dont know what to do.
And lastly, my life has been a DAMN LIE for the last two years. I am angry as hell, and utterly heartbroken at the same time. I cannot comprehend having it in you to destroy someone who has been nothing but good and kind to you all along. I dont understand.
UGGGGGHH...I just want some peace.
I have known what was going on was not right for quite some time now, but had attributed it to his "evil" ex that had done him wrong. But as time passed...I started researching and reading. When I read about narcissistic relationships a light came on. THIS is what is happening..finally an answer!
OK..so now what. He is still here..and worse than ever as I am sure he knows I have caught on to him.
I want him gone..but I feel caught up in this...entangled in a net. He is not going to go easy...he has no job...no money...basically I have been supporting him for two years now. I dont know what to do.
And lastly, my life has been a DAMN LIE for the last two years. I am angry as hell, and utterly heartbroken at the same time. I cannot comprehend having it in you to destroy someone who has been nothing but good and kind to you all along. I dont understand.
UGGGGGHH...I just want some peace.
is your name on the lease, or do you own the home?
you can pack his things, or give him 2 days to leave or perhaps call a police escort.
i know that the members here will give you sound advice.
don't beat yourself up for being a good person..you didn't know he was going to turn out like that. try to be calm at times and think rationally, bcz you are going to need that to get your situation squared away. in the mean time, vent here or to whatever support you can.
also, you said you feel entagled in a net...there are options, there always are and it's going to be okay..but you also want to make sure that you are safe, and be careful when and if you tell him he has to go. you may want to have someone else with you. best.
Good luck and be safe. Have someone with you as a witness and for support....or the cops if need be. :)
in the STRONGEST TERMS,
to go visit your nearest
women's center and
ask them for input.
They will have many
kinds of resources
for you.
One of them may be
how to legally evict him.
If you can't find the
women's center,
then go directly to
the police. Bring
lots of documentation
(which begins with
writing down the
history of this relationship).
Tell them you need help
getting him out of your
house and out of your
LIFE.
Please don't feel hopeless.
You're not. You have lots
more power than you feel
like you do.
Most of all. . . .
be CAREFUL.
Abusers (and parasites)
really HATE to lose
their victim. That's
often the time they
either become
dangerous (for
the first time),
or DEADLY.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
courage and strength.
Most states have laws that could affect you. One is common law marriage and the other has to do with eviction. To be SAFE, your women's shelter can help you make a SAFE plan to get him out. That might take an attorney's help. Once you have the law on your side you can then get the police involved to remove him & his crap from the house. Then you can change all the locks and go TOTAL No Contact.
But again, I urge you to have a SAFE plan in place and that is something your women's shelter should be able to help you with.
Whatever you do, DO NOT.....DO NOT....tell him what you are planning.
Take good care of yourself and stay SAFE.