It's been 3 days since I have heard from him..He didn't say goodbye, didn't give any reason. He just fell off the face of the Earth. We haven't been "together" in 5 years. He comes back around and promises me the moon and all the stars and I keep falling for it. This time was so different though. He came crashing into me like a hurricaine. I fell so hard all over again. I know that this is a good thing,not hearing from him, but why does it leave me feeling so empty? Why do I still keep checking my phone every 5 minutes hoping to see a text pop up on my screen? I am constantly looking over my shoulder worried that he'll be there to see me mess up and he'll get mad. I'm stuck on a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm so angry and I just want to tell him to just go and never come back. Then I'm lost because I know it wouldn't do any good anyways. I'm disappointed in myself and ashamed for letting it happen over and over. I'm scared. How do you come back from this? I'm tired of always feeling like I've done something wrong and that I'm not good enough. It's exhausting battling the up's and down's. It's only been 3 days and it feels like a lifetime. I tell myself I'm better off without him and I am happy. Then a song that he used to sing comes on the radio or I'm lying in bed and he hasn't called to say goodnight. It's hard not to call him. The last time we talked, he called me at 2 AM. He was drunk and wanted a ride home. I asked where he was and he yelled at me. He told me I shouldn't be trying to check in on him. He told me I was an idiot for worrying about him making it home okay and that I needed to see a therapist because I am F'ing crazy. You know what that does to a person mentally? I still don't even know if he made it home from the bar that night..