Joanie,
You are making my heart actually hurt for you. There is no one to good for you---only in your mind, you have to change that mind set. You are just as good as anybody else and so are all of us.
That person bought tickets so obviously , that person is looking forward to your company. Please do yourself a favor and go to the concert. Please, please, you will feel better if you get out.

You said "If a nice friend, one whom you knew was too good for you..." I see one of two things here. Either this friend is 'too good to be true' as in abusers usually start out seemingly too good to be true, or you don't see yourself as good enough to have nice friends. If its the first one, then if they are as nice as you think, they would not dump you just because you don't go. If they do dump you, then they weren't having as a friend in the first place.

If it's the second one, then I need to say that there is no one who is too good for you!

That said, maybe getting out would do you some good. You could explain how you're feeling to your friend & maybe he would understand & agree that you need to get out & have some fun.

Big hugs!!!

No he is not a bad person at all. He is very respectful and I have actually done some things with him as a platonic friend.
I just feel he will be dragged down at this point. He is a spiritual and positive person and he has done a lot of healing on himself. I really do not think he needs any negative energy, if that makes sense?
He never "dumps" me, he has remained my friend, online for years and for the past years in real life, but he has supportive family and friends and it is just he honestly can do better. I just don't want to leave him hating me. Kind of like, when you know what is best for someone because you care about them.

I suspect he can see the real YOU & he sees what we see here - a beautiful caring intelligent creative person (just to name a few). So I say, tell him you're down & need some cheering up. TRUST him that he can take care of himself & you won't bring him down. I have a feeling you will find yourself having a good time & feeling better!

Allow him to be a light on your path to healing. We all deserve at least one light on our paths. I am so grateful for those who lit the way for me.

Give yourself that gift too, Joanie!

Thank you gem111 and MyTrueColors for your responses and kindness. He wants to contact me later in the week and see if I have changed my mind. This is one of those times I wish I knew of a really intelligent, attractive, vivacious, woman that had her sh*t together so that I could play matchmaker and set them up. He is honestly a wonderful person and I want the best for him. I will figure out something. Thanks again.

if he is really a good friend a simple not being able to go is not going to hurt the friendship that you to have so dont worry if he is a true friend then this will be a simple set back and you and him will move on so dont worry about it

I agree with MTC and gem. The other thing I would say is ... let HIM decide whether he doesn't want you around or not. The fact that he bought the tickets suggests that he does in fact want you around, but that you are deciding for him. That's not fair on him OR you.

Tell him you are feeling down, you're not sure if you'd be good company and that you are happy to refund the ticket price if he can't find someone else. If he insists he's sure he'd like you to go - then allow him to make his own decisions about what he wants and needs in his life. And then go and get some cheering up.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but what I see here is that someone you like also likes you enough to want to go to a concert with you. But you can't allow yourself to feel good about it, so instead you are finding reasons why this makes you feel even WORSE, because the fact he invited such a loser to the concert means you'll lose him as a friend - but it's warped thinking. Be honest with him, and be happy that he wants to take you to the concert. And stop deciding what's best for other people - that's their job.

Livindadrem, He came to the same conclusion. He says I am punishing myself and it is because I choose to do that instead of blaming the toxic people around me. Who knows for sure, but I just know he has come a long way himself and I don't want to harm him in anyway. Perhaps alot of it is that as I said we have talked for a few years online and I am more comfortable with that as you can only get so close to someone that way and when they leave you it is not as destructive. I am not sure.
He has been a very good friend to me, got me the Lundy Bancroft book that everyone recommends, along with other self help books and he is a very "healthy" person. It is like I feel like take away from that in some way..I can't explain it.
I have not offered to refund his money as he said when he first bought the ticket if I backed out he would either sell the ticket or find a friend to go. I probably will refund the money anyway though to avoid any hard feelings.
I do appreciate all advice and I guess if he chooses to stay my friend from a distance, it will be so. Thanks to everyone.

Did he ask you if you wanted to go before he bought the tickets? If not I don't think that assuming you wanted to go and putting you on the spot bu expecting you to go was respectfuland imo it was actually rather controlling. If he was really a good friend he would have asked you first, imo.
You have the right to not feel up to anyone's company right now or any time you are feeling down and that doesn't mean you are a negative person and not worthy of friendship, or of his friendship. Too I think telling him the truth about why you don't want to go and not doing something you really don't want to do would help you to set a boundary with him. As good as you say he is, he may still need to know his limits with you.
As far as playing matchmaker, i wouldn't suggest you do that with him. Let him chose who he wants to spend time with and if it's you and you just aren't up for it, tell him that it isn't him so he won't take it personally, that it is anyone right now.

Thanks Learned. You know, he really did not ask before he bought the tickets. He just knew I liked blues music and this is a tribute to the blues. I feel his intent is good and he does not put off the vibe that he will try anything. Oddly enough, he is the only man I have met that I was not intimidated by when meeting him. We have always met in a public place and hung out publically. He does not know where I live or vice versa. It could be because this would be a late night thing and he has asked if I would prefer to get a hotel or sleep on his couch?
He lives a distance from me. The hotel would not be together. The couch is not even a consideration irregardless, not that I feel he would try anything as he never has, but I would just be uncomfortable.
The other times, which have been few, I believe 3, that we have spent together have been during the day, in public and we met in a public parking lot. I drove to my home alone.
I know I sound way paranoid, but the last person I met and who I decided to date (this man is just a friend at this point) was meeting me this way and he changed the rules on me, we went to his place and ...I really don't want to talk about that right now. That was the last ex and he went from perfect gentlement and not even a kiss to all over me when he got me in his surroundings. :(
I really hate being this way.

Sleep on his couch or get a hotel? Why not take you back to your car and let you drive home? idk but it sounds like he may have some hope in there that it could become more than friends, but whatever that is something you have to decide. I don't blame you for taking so many precautions. Doesn't mean you are paranoid at all, imo.
Even if he never tries anything, still it would be a good idea to set a boundary with him by letting him know you would have preferred he asked you before he bought the tickets.

Well he just texted and asked if I had reconsidered going to the concert?
I really wish he would of asked before buying the tickets. I have such a problem with establishing boundaries and I know he probably had good intentions as I do enjoy Blues music, but I really have not been feeling well anyway, between flu like symptoms, headaches and just stress. I feel guilty if I don't go, but if I go, I know I will be uncomfortable.
It is not even necessarily because of him..I don't know how to explain it? I just don't care to go. It is kind of like at work when the customers tell me to SMILE..I get angry a bit, like it is my body. I don't tell them to smile? I feel like I have no control over any aspect of my life anymore. I don't go to the store and tell the cashier to smile? If I am treated politely, that is enough for me, who am I to tell someone to fake it if they don't feel like smiling? You don't know what someone else may be going through. Arghh.
God I hate depression..unless one has it, they just dont understand it.

Joanie, I'm changing my original response after reading your more recent replies. You have every right to set your boundaries in whatever way makes YOU fee the most comfortable. If you don't want to go, then you shouldn't go. You need to do whatever is right to take care of yourself. Since he didn't ask before buying the tickets, I wouldn't feel obligated to repay him either.

Well, once again, I have to agree with MTC.
If it's going to make you uncomfortable than it's definitely OK not to go.

Jonesie...initially you said you thought he should stay away from you, But it looks like you came around to recognizing your own feelings and that YOU would not be comfortable....and drawing boundaries. That is great! I have fuzzy boundaries so it always feels good to sort that out!