Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I am 21 years old with 2 sons who are 21 months and 7 months old. I live with my BF (their father) in a small town about a hour away from all my friends. My parents live in Cali with my 2 younger brothers and my older sister live in Mass. My BF is the only one I really have around me for support and whatnot, but he terrifies me now...
My BF has gone from sweet to abusive in the last 4 years of our 5 year relationship. He smacks me, throws me into walls & on the floor, he grabs my arms & leaves bruises, but the thing he does that really makes me terrified is he strangles me. He puts both of his hands around my neck and strangles me to the point where I cannot breath and I almost pass out. He leaves bruises on my neck from doing this. he doesn't care about anything when he gets angry. He has even strangled me while I was holding my oldest son. Tyler was screaming and crying but that didn't stop him. He tightened his grip around my neck to the point where I couldn't hold onto my son, because I was so dizzy and couldn't breath. There is more that he has done but I don't have the time to write it all down.
I want to leave him, I need to leave him, but he says that if I try to he is going to take my boys away from me. I love my sons and I haven't been away from either one for more than one night. I cannot imagine not having them with me all the time. I'm terrified to loose my kids & I'm terrified of him...
Can somebody please help me? I don't know how to get away from him without him taking my kids from me.
My BF has gone from sweet to abusive in the last 4 years of our 5 year relationship. He smacks me, throws me into walls & on the floor, he grabs my arms & leaves bruises, but the thing he does that really makes me terrified is he strangles me. He puts both of his hands around my neck and strangles me to the point where I cannot breath and I almost pass out. He leaves bruises on my neck from doing this. he doesn't care about anything when he gets angry. He has even strangled me while I was holding my oldest son. Tyler was screaming and crying but that didn't stop him. He tightened his grip around my neck to the point where I couldn't hold onto my son, because I was so dizzy and couldn't breath. There is more that he has done but I don't have the time to write it all down.
I want to leave him, I need to leave him, but he says that if I try to he is going to take my boys away from me. I love my sons and I haven't been away from either one for more than one night. I cannot imagine not having them with me all the time. I'm terrified to loose my kids & I'm terrified of him...
Can somebody please help me? I don't know how to get away from him without him taking my kids from me.
Your not a horrible mom and he has no valid reason to take your children......my advice s get out and away, get help and dont go back.....you are gonna need a lot of support such as counseling, family, friends.....there are times you're gonna feel scared, insecure, and want to go back that's why you need that support to help you and keep you grounded on your decision. Also look into your local resources to see whats available to help....my best advice is go to your family. Let your parents know what's going on.
My friend from VA is coming up within the next few days & we are gonna go out so we can talk about maybe getting a place together or me moving with her to VA to get a place down there.
I can't move in with my parents cuz they can barely afford to pay their bills and feed my 2 brothers and themselves, never mind plus me and 2 kids.
Right now I'm trying to figure out different solutions and different things I have to have along with what I have to do after I leave.
Be careful about using the phone. You may want to use a friend's or neighbor's phone when you call for help. Depending on your cell phone or land line company, they have easily available lists of numbers that you dialed. I have Verizon, for example, and all I have to do is log in on the net and I can see call details for every call made by any of my family member's cell phones. And you don't want to go there.
Please be safe!
I am really glad you are looking at options, that's awesome. Do make use of the resources that are out there to help you as well. It's what they are there for.
Please stay safe. And please keep posting when you can so that we know you are safe.
I have lived with her since I was 16 due to stuff that was going on in my family. She's helped me with a lot and she doesn't let the fact she is his mother come in the way of what she knows is right and wrong.
She is going to be coming over tomorrow so I plan on talking to her more about this.
His sister just got the shit kicked out of her by her bf in front of her 3kids yesterday and social services have her kids right now. When he came home last night he started talking to me and he told me he has to work on his anger and his other problems cuz he doesn't want what happen to his sister to happen to us. I'm not saying I'm going to put everything he has done to me in the past behind me but I am going to give him the chance to start getting help and changing how he deals with his anger.
I'm not sure if he will completely change or not but I thought it was good to actually hear him admit he has a problem and that he needs to fix it before it gets to the point where his sister is now.
I'm still going to be talking to my friend when she comes up about possibly getting a place with her cuz it might be better for us to be separated while he works on his problems so that he knows I'm serious about this.
I'm only 21 years old I shouldn't be concered about what my bf is gonna do the next time he gets angry.
But the most important thing for me to focus on is that my sons don't have to grow up in this unhealthy environment & for their saftey as well as mine.