Pet Bereavement Support Group
The loss of a pet or animal to which one has become emotionally bonded can be an intense loss, comparable with the death of a loved one. Whilst there is strong evidence that animals can feel such loss for other animals, this community focuses on human feelings, when an animal is lost, dies or otherwise is departed.
On Tuesday, we lost our sweet Rupert. He was just about to turn 11, and I thought we still had more years ahead. He got sick very suddenly, and left us one week later. It all happened so fast.
I wish I could have done something more. We brought him to several vets, including the emergency hospital. On his last day, we had taken him to a veterinary neurologist. Neither my husband nor I cared how much we had to spend. I had savings, and was prepared to use every last penny, if necessary. We'd have done anything for him. Of course, we both second-guess ourselves now, and wonder if we should have made different choices -- taken him to a different vet to begin with, or gone to the hospital earlier. We tried to get him in to see the neurologist a day earlier, but couldn't. I don't know if anything would have made a difference. I do wish we could have spared him from feeling so bad those last few days.
He was so much a part of our daily lives. Now, just waking up in the morning without seeing him at the foot of the bed is weird. I keep thinking about all the things I'm going to miss. How I'll never bury my head in his tummy and smell him or kiss him anymore. We always shared food, too, so even eating anything is depressing. Being in our yard is so sad -- Rupert loved his big yard, and running and chasing the squirrels and birds.
At least we have the peace of knowing Rupert was always happy, and knew he was deeply loved and well cared for. I know he knew that.
He kissed me goodbye. It was so sad and yet beautiful and precious, and I feel so grateful to have experienced that moment with him.
I just wish I knew I would stop missing him so terribly, but I know I won't. There will never be another Rupert. I hate this feeling so much.
I wish I could have done something more. We brought him to several vets, including the emergency hospital. On his last day, we had taken him to a veterinary neurologist. Neither my husband nor I cared how much we had to spend. I had savings, and was prepared to use every last penny, if necessary. We'd have done anything for him. Of course, we both second-guess ourselves now, and wonder if we should have made different choices -- taken him to a different vet to begin with, or gone to the hospital earlier. We tried to get him in to see the neurologist a day earlier, but couldn't. I don't know if anything would have made a difference. I do wish we could have spared him from feeling so bad those last few days.
He was so much a part of our daily lives. Now, just waking up in the morning without seeing him at the foot of the bed is weird. I keep thinking about all the things I'm going to miss. How I'll never bury my head in his tummy and smell him or kiss him anymore. We always shared food, too, so even eating anything is depressing. Being in our yard is so sad -- Rupert loved his big yard, and running and chasing the squirrels and birds.
At least we have the peace of knowing Rupert was always happy, and knew he was deeply loved and well cared for. I know he knew that.
He kissed me goodbye. It was so sad and yet beautiful and precious, and I feel so grateful to have experienced that moment with him.
I just wish I knew I would stop missing him so terribly, but I know I won't. There will never be another Rupert. I hate this feeling so much.
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
I wish you had known the efforts would not have helped and perhaps let Rupert pass peacefully with euthanasia if he was not put down....I dunno why he passed but am sure he knew you loved him....
it is hard....I had little emotion about Doc but Doc was my first dog that I raised on my own from 4mo old puppy and he was a hunting dog...he was very independent and took care of himself to the end....his weak rear end could not handle 15in snow in Jan. this year and it kept him falling down and unable to get up and back inside....I took him to emergency clinic in 15 in fresh snow because the next two to three days temps would drop way way colder and he would have frozen if he went out and fell and I did not retrieve him back inside....thirty mins after I brought him in first time he was back outside again....doggie door....I miss him but I know I lost him long before because I felt that he just was lonely and could not get on bed with us any more....shit this hurts...night!
You might read here how people have made little memorials of their fuzzy family members-be those memorials of toys-photos..whatever you feel like when you're up to it. You might find a stuffed animal to keep nearby-they are always good for hugging
I wish animals lived longer. It's so unfair that they have short lives compared to ours.
Rupert LOVED stuffed animals. He loved playing with them, and just carrying them around. We buried some of his favorites with him, but have many -- my husband put some on our mantel along with the picture and painting of Rupert we already had there. He also put a few of his other toys there. There are a few on the couch (he'd bring them with him when he sat there), and two on our bed (Rupert loved choosing a buddy to bring to bed with him).
Sometimes, he would jump right on the bed, carrying his stuffed animal. But other times, he wasn't confident he'd make it. So he would come to the side of the bed and make this noise -- it was his sound indicating, "Hey -- I've got an animal here. Can you give me a hand?" We'd take the buddy, then he'd back up and leap onto the bed.
Rupert had some complex rituals. :)
Oh how we miss their little ways : )
I hope you are feeling a tad better since it all happened
Your picture of Rupert asking for help with his stuffed animal brought tears to my eyes :)
We tried the steps, but Rupert wouldnt use them. We bought a platform bed, thinking it would be lower, but it turned out not to be much lower than our old bed. So then I searched for a Mid Century bench (that would match the new bed) that was the right height, and had it reupholstered and the legs stripped and refinished. We put it at the foot of the bed, so Rupert had an easier time climbing up. That will always be Ruperts bench.
Gotta tell just one more: Rupert ALWAYS had to chew buttholes into his stuffed animals! Im not kidding! I have a photo of a bunch of them together showing the holes in their rear ends. It was so funny. This morning, I noticed this small pig not really one of Ruperts toys, because it was too small, but just this cute little thing I picked up that sometimes my husband would play with, with Rupert. It oinks, and the sound would get him riled up and hed grab it and run. Anyway, I noticed this morning for the first time that part of its ear was missing. When I picked it up, I then saw that he too had a butthole! I know my husband forgot to put the pig back after playing a couple of times, so Rupert must have taken advantage of the opportunity.
I always joked that Rupert was worried his buddies wouldnt be able to poop!
Its gotten a bit better. But I keep thinking about how Rupert really gave us a good life, not the other way around. We just tried our best to deserve it. Without him, life is a little less good. I wonder if it will feel this way always. Are our best years now over?
I definitely know what you mean when you say your life is just a little less good.
I feel like there there is a big empty space without my Jenna, I dont feel like the same person without her to love and chase around the house. I feel like its the end of an era, one that I really didnt want to end.
Does time heal all wounds or do we just have to become different versions of ourselves to get over them?
I guess we can only be kind to ourselves and know that we have hearts big enough to love and care for these wonderful creatures and thats why we are suffering so much now.
If we listen to out hearts, I am sure they will lead us to something/someone in the future to love again. Not in the same way as our last babies, but the new babies will be lucky to have us too.
You know I wonder if Rupert thought the stuffed animals would make noise out their butts if he gave them a hole to do so...like a squeeky toy?
I am so sorry about your pup. I lost my pup Walter about three months ago (he also had a sudden neurological disorder and I lost him suddenly in a matter of days) and it's still difficult to believe he's gone. I've since gotten another dog to help keep me happy and to have some company, but it doesn't make me hurt any less. The days do get a but easier though--but when it hits, it still really hits. And hurts. I miss him so much.
I do want to affirm what you were saying in a comment about how he gave you a great life, not necessarily the other way around. I know you gave him a good life, and I know I have Walt a good life, but man am I grateful for what he did to mine. When he passed, people kept saying that he lived such a good life because of me, and all I could think about and respond with is that he did even more than that for me. He changed my world upside down with his love, and I will be forever grateful. I even got a tattoo of a tennis ball (his favorite thing in the world) with his initials on my ankle so I'll always remember what he taught me, and remember who he made me be.
I'm so sorry again for your loss, but know you're not alone. Know that you had good lives together, and that there are good times ahead. He was in your life to make you who you are--and the way I always think about it, I try my best to be ok and live a good life to make Walt proud, to make our time together especially meaningful. I'm thinking of you and your husband in this difficult time.
Im so sorry for each of your losses as well. kdizzle04 Im with you. I do think we need to acknowledge how these precious beings change us, and that we honor the relationship by continuing to live so that we are still deserving of all the love and joy they gave to us when they were here.