Personality Disorders Support Group
Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.
my boyfriend most likely has bpd. i didn't really know what was going on in our relationship, some of the accusations didn't make sense. i finally started researching disorders and when i came across bpd it started to make more sense to me.
unfortunately, he came across a book i had gotten to try and understand what happens inside him, why i trigger him, so that i could learn to handle situations better and so forth, be more understanding and less defensive. he was pretty offended. he's got a psychology degree, and is certain he doesn't have it, but says he has some borderline tendencies.
since this event, things have gotten harder. it seems like his anxiety has intensified, even to the point of paranoid behaviors and accusations. i have begged him to get help, telling him that his behavior was pushing me away. instead it seemed to push HIM away. i think i went about this all wrong, but i just couldn't get him to acknowledge something was wrong. i know he is fearful of the stigma surrounding mental illness. even that term sounds ugly, i don't blame him.
but it doesn't make me love him any less...
i guess after my long-winded story i am wondering what kind of struggles others have experienced before a diagnosis or at least an understanding of the possibility of having bpd came to be. i want to be able to understand what he might be afraid to tell me. am i making any sense? i've been pretty depressed myself lately.
unfortunately, he came across a book i had gotten to try and understand what happens inside him, why i trigger him, so that i could learn to handle situations better and so forth, be more understanding and less defensive. he was pretty offended. he's got a psychology degree, and is certain he doesn't have it, but says he has some borderline tendencies.
since this event, things have gotten harder. it seems like his anxiety has intensified, even to the point of paranoid behaviors and accusations. i have begged him to get help, telling him that his behavior was pushing me away. instead it seemed to push HIM away. i think i went about this all wrong, but i just couldn't get him to acknowledge something was wrong. i know he is fearful of the stigma surrounding mental illness. even that term sounds ugly, i don't blame him.
but it doesn't make me love him any less...
i guess after my long-winded story i am wondering what kind of struggles others have experienced before a diagnosis or at least an understanding of the possibility of having bpd came to be. i want to be able to understand what he might be afraid to tell me. am i making any sense? i've been pretty depressed myself lately.
However, please remember that only specialists can diagnose others, your boyfriend might have some other condition...or else he might have some borderline traits which lots of people have...
I do hope that you'll be able to convince him to go into counselling, though.
Before I was diagnosed, I knew I had an odd relationship with other people. I was either someone that someone might follow or someone that didn't fit in with the masses. I had periods where I was popular-(more manipulative), and periods where I wasn't popular and felt like an outcast. I always wanted to know how sometimes I pulled people in so tight and at other times pushed people away.
I know you are trying to help him but I think it will take your boyfriend seeking out help before he is ready to accept anything. For me it took losing my career. Hopefully it won't go that far for him.
I also have Bipolar though which working along with my Borderline caused me to lose my career.