the personality disorders were initially intended to be a handy "label" to use amongst mental health practitioners *only* to communicate about their patients, when these diagnostic labels were written about in the DSM. This is what I was told by my therapist after complaining about how negative they sound.

So, in other words, any professional who writes books about personality disorders to educate the "public" is doing US a disservice, as these categories were never meant for PUBLIC DISCUSSION ANYHOW!!! This is what pisses me off about psychologists who write negative books about the personality disorders for the "public", in effect *sensationalizing* personality disorders and demonizing us in order to make $$$ is all it is. There's one book in particular I just read about that makes me sick, written by a dude with a PhD who worked in the prison system. Oooh enrages me to no end cos he's biased and takes on all the PD's I believe. Well I got all ya backs my personality disordered friends. WE are just regular people, we have all been abused in one way or another, in my case due to being sensitive to any punishment because of mood disorder, and receiving inconsistent punishment, sometimes even probably abusive punishment (although I freaking hate to admit that but as a teen my moods were effed and yeah I remember a few times blowing up and going into rages and getting grabbed and scruffed for it but never bruised). MUAHS to yas all!!!

There is alot of truth to it. Most of my experience has to do with verbal abuse in my younger years and became physical abuse on my mother's part when I was about 12 in addition to the verbal abuse. At the first possible chance, my mother sent me to live with my dad.

My first husband was abusive both verbally and physically and came close to suffocating me. I left him and returned to my dad's house. Not long after that, on my way home from work on my 10-speed bike, a car crossed over to the side of the street I was on, crippling my bike but not really injuring me. Naive as I was, I let the car's owner, take me and my bike to my home. I got there about 8 hours later after a trip to Ben Taub after being raped and beaten, courtesy of the Police Chaplain and his wife.

I've since been married 3 times, the 2nd time is when I had my children and lasted the longest, 9 1/2 years. He was emotionally abusive but never physically.

The last 2 I married out of loneliness I think. But they lasted less than a year each. I've had numerous failed relationships before and after each.

Hopefully though my children had a better life growing up than I did so they don't suffer the same pitfalls.

My daughter inherited my propensity for migraines (my mom had them also) and so far, the only sign of problems with my son is that like me, he's a loner for the most part and doesn't have a very high tolerance for stress. I lost a long-time job (over 10 years) when I went off on a supervisor. Hopefully he'll never reach that point.

I grew up around a lot of verbal and emotional abuse from my father, and somewhat from my mother as well, though she didn't realize it. My father put me down a lot, told me how dumb and stupid I was, called me names a lot and constantly toyed with my emotions. My mother made me feel like it was my fault that there were so many family problems and that put a lot of stress and guilt on me at a very young age. In school I was quiet and shy and people used that to their advantage and picked on me and bullied me a lot because they knew I wouldn't do anything about it. I strongly believe that at some point early in my childhood I was raped or molested. I know it sounds crazy to say that I do not know, but I've just always had that feeling very strongly eventhough I do not remember. A therapist I had once told me it was very likely and that I probably blacked it out, for I've blacked out a lot of my past. It would explain a lot.

I just wanted to add to my last reply that I was also verbally sexually abused ever since I could remember until I was 18 or 19 when I finally stood up and said something about it. I didn't realize this was abuse until I talked to my therapist about it. It brought up a lot of sick feelings.

I also want to say that I'm sick and tired of people acting like those with BPD are evil. One of my friends told me the other day (after saying that she would be there for me no matter what) that if I'm truly borderline she doesn't think she can be my friend because she can't stand people who are borderline. I had another friend who said the same thing because she has worked with borderline patients before. I don't think they understand what it's like and that we're are good people who have been hurt and are still being hurt. It gets tough to live like that sometimes and to be treated like a terrible person because no one understand you.

Some of the people in this support group have been there for me more than my friends and family have and I hope they know I really appreciate that.

bluestarfish you don't need friends like that anyway because they are clearly prejudiced idiots. omg lmfao @ their dumb azzes.. they would've been your friends until they heard about your mental health diagnosis?

i am sure it hurts really bad, but you are better off without people like that, they are prejudiced.

Bluestarfish I totally agree with Stormy 70 these people I am sad to say are not behaving well. I suggest you tell them how hurt and very annoyed you are with them. I would suggest they look at their discriminatory and unacceptable behaviour and then come to discuss with you what they have learnt before you will consider working things out with them. You are the one in position to be calling the shots about whether or not you will be friends with them - take your power back from them - assholes!

I would also like to advice you all to take the psychaitric system a with a huge pinch of salt. Having worked in the field for a number of years I have seen how defficient and discriminatory it really is. It is virtually a perpetuator of the opression already existing within soceity with regards to mental health. Counselling I think is much better but choose your counsellor well, if they buy into the whole labelling stuff - sack them and find someone who values you in all your differences. Love x

I think the same thing, I believe that they do have a relation and I despise it.
I am manic Bi polar with Ocd and I was abused.

My parents were not abusive, but very invalidating, which my psych said is a major contributing factor of BPD. I was in a very emotionally and physically abusive relationship from the age of 16 to 20, which did a lot of damage as well.

if you think about it doesn't it make sence. these are all learned behaviors that as a child we learn. how to cope with situatoins and when you come from a home with abuse there is no way to cope. i have been abused in every way mentioned above. i'm new to this but from what i have read and been told by my dr. it makes sense to me why i am so fucked up. but at least there is hope my dr. did tell me it is a long healing process but it can be done. i am also BP so finding out about this too and all of the other disorders i have is crushing.

I WAS

I was physically, emotionally and verbally abused as a child. From what my psychiatrist tells me, the negative environment that's created in an abusive situation causes children to develop similar coping techniques.. leading to personality disorders. Also, she said, the constant bombardment of chemicals released in a child's body due to stress inhibit the growth of the part of the brain that regulates emotional stability.

i have been told the abandonment, abuse and neglect i experienced as a child has been a major contributor to my personality disorder...

Yes. I was abused mildly physically (several times) and badly emotionally (by a former narcistic, sociopathic co-worker).
It was some years ago, and I can hardly sleep so far. Ithe first 1-2 years was the worst, then I rage a lot, I now I try to forget and try not to hate people and stand being in society.
It's very-very hard for me to make friends. I start being friendly, and then feel attached too much and in an unhealthy way (missing the person I met, and persecute and bother him or her ).
The physical abuses were some touching (my bosom) , some pushing (from behind on a bus and in a cinema, and in a theater, when I was a child ). One of my ex-boyfriend once tried to rape me (I was still a virgin at the age of 27, and we had been going out for a time). Ha was not able to (because wanted to use cotton and I fought hard). He was a sex maniac - wanted to do it all the day (e.g. 7 times - it was too many for me and injured me).
He was my firs lover (or just fucker), and I needed him just to make me never need sex anymore (because at 27, I was mad about sex (I just hadn't been kissed or doing any petting and not masturbate just seen some porno films).
I had two other lover (lasted for 6 and 2 mouths), because I felt intense need to be touched and wanted to be married and have children.
For about 2 years I haven't had a mate (and I just going out to cinema, talk with and do some sports with guys).
Sorry about being so free-spoken.
Bye :)