my boyfriend who most likely has bpd went out of town. we are in the midst of breaking up, partially because he says that he doesn't believe that he is showing signs of mental illness.
he left his journal on the couch. i looked at it sitting there, and, even though it was an invasion of his privacy, i opened it.
in it was a letter to me, telling me sweetly why he had to leave me. acknowledging that there was a sickness inside him, possibly an anxiety disorder. in the letter he explains that he needs me to understand that sickness of the soul is no different than sickness of the body, and that those who have it should not be blamed for it. "They are ill and they need help and extra support."
"I need to find someone who can accept my limitations and understand that I am suffering greatly from my own inner condition."
he still wants it to be me, he says.
i don't know when he wrote this. it's in the middle of the journal and there is no date.
but some part of me believes that some part of him left the journal out in the open on purpose.
for me to find that letter.
what do you think? already it has helped me to realize what i was doing wrong.