Both of my daughtersm my sister and myself were victims of my father. my sister and my oldest daughter did not have memories until my youngest daughter told us what was happening. My youngest has definite rememberances, not just memories. Both have suffered from PTSD, drug abuse, food addition and my youngest from self mutilation. the pain is so deep and so severe, that without proper ways to get it out, victims use these to help dull it. we have not used hypnotism or age regression. the several therapists we went to said that the memories will come out when the body is ready, and that has pretty much been true. both of my daughters and my sister seem to handle it a bit better when they (the memories) occur naturally. there is usually a trigger that starts them---a smell, a word, a person who looks like or reminds them of the perp. and i have found that when i ask my girls what the trigger was, they can easily identify it and i can then help them. untimately, it is your daughters journey, and you can't rush her healing (believe me, i tryed because i couldn't stand seeing the pain they were in). this is also very very difficult for any man to comprehend. i guarantee you, your daughter was not the only one. there are probably cousins and maybe other siblings that he injured also. you and your family are in my prayers karilee. God bless you.

Thank you for you reply. I am so sorry that this sickness has effected so many in your family. That is so sad! You are a very strong lady to handle all of that.
It sounds like you have experienced a lot of the same horrible things with your kids. My daughter is an adult now but we went through pure hell from 14 on. I never understood the drugs, suicide attempts, the cutting...any of it...until this came out. Now it all makes sense to me. I am still dealing with the guilt of not protecting her. All the years I did my best to keep strangers from harming my kids and it was my father in law that I needed to worry about. He is a fine Christian man....or so we thought, and at church 3x a week, who would of suspected. My husband still cannot accept that his saintly father could do such a sick thing. He even molested her in the church play room, no wonder she has never wanted to go to church growing up. We told my husband's brother when we found out because he has two young children that are around him all the time. They had their daughter checked by a church counselor and she said nothing happened. If it didn't it's because he doesn't molest blood, my daughter is a step grand daughter so she must of been ok to abuse... His family has turned against me and my daughter and just do not understand my anger. Christmas will be very strange this year and it hurts my husband that I will not be with him at his family's. I never plan to be around his father again. His mother is in denial. No one can believe such a good man could do this.
I do fear that there are other victims that are suffering because of him. I hope and pray they come forward and get help. Thank you so much for your prayers. We need them and I will do the same for you and your family.

Oh Karilee can I relate to you, My father in law molested both my daughters. My oldest from 5-11 and my youngest we are still not sure how young. They did not tell, until my youngest daughter told a friend and she said she had to tell us or she was going to. Neither of my daughters told each other. Like you I was so overprotective on who I let my kids with, as my younger brother was molested so I was on alert. When my mother in law would go down to her horse barn that evil bastard molested them. There is a 5 year age difference of my girls so they were not aware of each other(that I know of) They were 14 and 18 when the abuse came out. He killed himself when I confronted him, there was no way he was going to go to jail. He didnt even apologize in the suicide note, just to bury him with his dog!!! Sick huh? They were happy little girls, although my oldest was quieter and shyer and would embarrass easier, but I thought that was normal adolescence! She now suffers from PTSD and is in college. She is a brilliant girl, but dabbles in alcohol and pot its hard to really know what is going on in college, they usually dont volunteer that info, so I sit and wonder how she really is. The youngest will be 15 next week and she just had an incident that she got drunk. Is it normal teenage junk or is it pain from the abuse? I have had to just fall on my knees and pray that they will be alright. Will I ever understand it? No, will I ever trust another human being completely? no. It does change you forever. Its what we do with it. Peace and love to you and your family. H

Ann that is just horrible. There are so many sick people in this world. Seems hopeless right now. My mother in law mentioned she was worried her husband would kill himelf because of the accusation or die from his heart being broken. I take that as an admission of guilt that your father in law did that. Did he ever admit it? Does he wife believe he did it? No one on my husband's side of the family believe it and that is hurting my daughter more that everyone thinks she is lying. She went thru such horrible stuff when she was a teen, in and out of the hospital, overdoses, cutting etc.... mental hospital so they all think she is just a druggie and a liar. When really the reason she did all those things were because of what he did to her. He is a saint and she is the bad one.
Peace for my family would be a blessing right now. My husband just told me he doesn't know if we will get through this because he cannot handle the things I say about his father. He baits me and makes me angry about my daugher and then when I call his father a pedophile or mention the things I believe he did, he rages. How dare I say those things about his father. He was a great father....He has a theory that my daughther has "false memory syndrom"...that this was all planted in her mind by counselors over the years and her flashbacks and nightmares are becoming her reality. It's so frustrating!!!! I love him very much and I pray we can somehow get through this. I see a counselor every week now and working on some of my issues...but he is just in complete denial and so angry that she would even say this. To her he supports her and doesn't say he doesn't believe her...to let her heal and then to me, he just doesn't believe it.
My daughter is hellbent on revenge and that makes him so angry. She has posted things on FB that she shouldn't and emailed some of his extended family when she was drinking. I can understand the revenge feellings...i want it to. She sees two therapists right now.
He has asked his father to take a lie detector test. His dad is saying "those are not reliable and can have a false positive" ....he is going to stress it after the holidays that he needs him to do it to clear his name. I say he won't do it because he is guilty as hell. He will probably die before that ever will happen and my husband and I will always disagree on this and have a wedge between us.
Thank you for your support. I hope your girls will heal from this and live awesome lives.

My daughter was molested by a teacher at school, she ended up doing the same things your daughter did.
food abuse, smoking at a young age, pot, suicide attempts, and serious ones. I know how you feel when you say you feel guilty for not protecting her. I used to force my daughter to go to school , not knowing what was happening there. She used to lock herself in the bathroom stall at school not to go to his classroom. I know how the guilt thing feels. I got over it by talking and talkng and talking about it.

Now the lie detector test...... the teacher was being investigated by the RCMP after my daughter disclosed at 17 years of age to a youth worker at the suicide hospital for teens. He volunteered to take a lie detector test. He failed , the first one, and claimed it was because of being lost on his way to the place he needed to take it. haha , but he took another one and passed. This never came to anything because it was all impossible to prove. But what did happen that helped both my daughter and I was confronting him.
I went right over after finding out they wernt going to charge him and confronted him and told him what he had done to our whole family. He denied it of course and I caught him in lies, but got my point accross, infront of his wife and 22 yearold son.

Then the part I am most proud of was my daughter was able to go to him , with a friend and confront him.
When he tried to defend himself to the friend of my daughters, my daughters friend shut him down with , " she didn't come here to listen she came here to tell you something" then my daughter proceeded to talk, she told him that He knows what he did to her, and that she knows what he did to her so she isnt here to talk about it. She is there to forgive him. She then said that it was for him to live with for the rest of his life and that she was moving on with hers. From that point on she has blossomed and I have my beautiful happy lovely daughter back. So let your daughter say what she needs to to this low life prick. but let her get to the place where she realizes that healing comes from letting go and from putting the blame directly on him. Forgiving is about laying blame where it belongs, not condoning.
I wish for peace for all of you and your children.
Robin

Karilee, Yes he admitted to me about my youngest daughter, but at the time of the accusation, I did not know about my older daughter(at college). Thats why I believe its been harder for her, she protected him all those years, protected all of us and then he didnt even acknowledge her. That is her biggest struggle. We drove to her college 12 hours away to tell her, about the suicide and her sister. She threw her school bag down and said that bastard molested my from 5-11. I have never fainted in my life, but that day the room caved in on me. Both my girls. I have never experienced such pain in all my life. Fortunately my husband knows what a rotten pedophile he was., but he killed himself before my husband could confront him too, My mother in law also believed the girls. Every thing has been wiped out of the house of him, all pictures, his chair. Its like he never existed. But oh the pain he has left behind. His punishment is greater now than I or any court could have doled out! I believe in heavenly justice!!! So we walk forward and take one day at a time and I trust that their hearts will be healed. H

hey everyone, we are an incredible group of parents, with incredible children. We need to remember to just take life day by day, often hour by hour. Sit quietly with God everyday, even if it is just a few minutes. It makes a world of difference. You will obtain much strength from it. Don't let the perp ruin your Christmas. Focus on the true reason and I promise you will have peace in your heart. Merry CHRISTmas!
Diane

Ann that is good that your mother in law and husband believed the kids. That does help with the healing. I am sure he is paying for his abuse for eternity.
Refuse we are an incredible group of parents!! Sometimes the guilt of not knowing clouds that but we are all seeking the same thing, healing for our children and ourselves. We will get through this and one day it won't consume all our thoughts, I have to trust in that.
I saw my Christian therapist today, it does help so much. I wish I would of found her years ago. I have never really read the bible and am finding comfort in the scriptures.
I will not let him ruin my holiday that is for sure. My husband is taking my other two younger children over there for a party tomorrow night and then on Christmas eve while I do something special with my daughter. I told him it is the first and last Christmas eve I will be without my children. He has very specific insructions to not let him out of his site. He is only going because he wants to see his elderly grandmother.
I know he will be uncomfortable, he has not had a conversation with his father since the truth came out.
I am doing my best to make this Christmas very special for my daughter. My family is her support group and we will love her through it.

Kabobly that is horrible. We send our children to school and think they are safe and a teacher does that to your child. It is just so sick. Your daughter is a very brave girl for standing up to him and to forgive him. She is very strong. My counselor says I have to forgive one day for my own sanity. Just not in the cards right now. Maybe one day I will see that.
Ya for you telling his wife and child. They try and be such "upstanding citizens" and live a fake life. Their family needed to know, he has prob molested family members as well. I hope she had the back bone to leave him.
We need stricter laws on the molesters, maybe as parents we can all change the laws one day and put these people away and throw away the key, keep the kids safe.
Prayers for you and your family. It sounds like your daughter is doing good.

Karilee, I would be out of my mind thinking about my children going near him. Are there other grandchildren? Could he have molested them? I can understand your husband wanting to see his grandmother, but his father? How does he not want to kill him? This does break up families unfortanately as you will read on here. But how can people not believe it? Why would a child lie about that? Why would you want to protect a pedophile? People would rather live in lala land then upset their "normal little lives". Try to have a Merry Christmas, we have a lot to be thankful for. H

There are two small grandchildren 8 and 4 that are around him all the time and he is moving two doors down from them. We told them about it before we told him and his wife. He thinks I am a horrible meanspirited vindictive, hateful person for trying to turn his family against him with such a outrageous lie. They are in a bad spot. He says they don't believe it but they did take their 8 year old to a counselor and she says there was no abuse. Not sure how they would know in one visit when my daughter did not tell since age 7 and she is now an adult. At least they believe it enough not to leave their children alone with him anymore or spend the night at his house like they were. My younger two spent the night there a lot growing up. I have questioned them but no signs of abuse. My husband doesn't want me to point blank ask them about Grandpa becasue they love their grandpa and he will not live much longer. I think God gave him a heart attack 7 years ago to punish him for what he did to my child and to keep him from doing it to another. At least I hope that.
My husband just left with my youngest two to go to the party. He will not leave them in the same room with him even though he says he doesn't believe it, in his gut I know he does. He is holding on to the man he knew growing up, the great Christian family man. Not the child molester that I see.
People def. would rather not believe and go on as normal. No wonder it goes on from generation to generation. I feel good that I did the right thing and exposed him. Doing the right thing is not always the easy thing but it sure feels good and I know he will get his sooner or later.