I'm new. Day after thanksgiving my kid tells me as I am getting her to undress for a bath that her cousin put his fingers "there", more info came but I will exclude here. Since that moment I have been f-'d up. It comes in waves and I want to say thank you to everyone that has ever shared their story here because it is helping me sort what I am feeling. 
My husband and I aren't really talking about it; we are okay and yet definitely not fine at all. Our daughter isn't showing any signs of distress since she says she's feeling fine down there. I see from the posts here I need therapy. My husband won't go, I know not to ask now but maybe one day he will. I will have to find some one near me to see if she needs to talk about it. She just turned 7. She doesn't fully realize how bad this offense is. I don't want to keep bringing it up to her either. When I asked how she was feeling down there and if it still hurt to pee I added that Dad and I are so proud of her of telling me she was hurt. She said it didn't hurt anymore. Wtf people, I am in this group now with you. The visceral rage in me is only contained because you all are helping me with your own stories, it's impossible to not think about this. One day at a time, one second at a time. Ugh. So challenging. And the guilt!!! I always said even a doctor needs permission to look at your privates. I fucked up people, I didn't say, NO ONE EVER TOUCHES YOUR BODY, ever. 
Her 12 y/o boy cousin asked for permission and she said yes. Yes, like she trusted him not to hurt her, like she trusted him because they are family, like I trusted him to know better. Like I trusted myself to have good mother instincts and thought that laughter in the bathroom from the two of them was innocent. That the pictures I took of them right after would be gifted to their grandparents this Xmas as a symbol of them being there for each other as adults. Nope. I hate holidays even more. Every year I expect we should all win awards for best actor in real life drama for keeping our shit together as best we can so we don't freak out our awesome kids that never deserved this.