Just to clarify, my husband stopped me from going over there yesterday. The perp still does not know that we know.

I suspected from your earlier posts that something more serious was happening in that family. I'll bet molestation was a way of life for them. This is incredible. I'm glad you were able to restrain yourself. The only way this could get worse is for you to end up in jail yourself.

Breathe. You have support.

Thank you!! We had suspicions about him and even asked my daughter several times, but she adamantly denied it always!! I knew that she seemed obsessed with him and was extremely protective of him. I found out that he knew about his dad before we did and did not come to us or the police so, we have been very upset with him and have told him not to talk to her without our supervision. He had even told us that he knew he was wrong for not going straight to the police and that he would like to apologize himself to our daughter with my husband and me present!! What a crock of crap!! A relative told me that she was texting him on her kindle (she does not have a phone) so I asked for her password and found where they had texted back and forth and he incriminated himself in the texts. We took the evidence and the investigator talked to my daughter as well. She said that she did very well and was forthcoming this time. She has to see a forensic investigator Tuesday so we are staying away from home until then. After that interview, he should be picked up is what I have been told, I guess we will see.

Another clarification, he has not talked to her in our presence, he had just walked over to our house when she was outside and he came over and spoke to her. My husband told him not to talk to her ever again without one of us present and he agreed. We did not know of him ever speaking to her again. All of this texting and everything else was behind our back. Again, my husband and I feel really stupid and like complete failures!!

...that instance where he came over and spoke to her was several weeks ago.

Holy mother of God. The Deacon AND his son. Well, this ought to finish off the community's support for that family....

This is a very precarious situation for you to handle at this time. It sounds extremely complicated since your daughter is the victim yet the protector. At that age we develop all kinds of attachments and are discovering so many emotions that adding this one to your daughters world must be very confusing for her. I understand it is something you cannot even wrap your head around at this point and possibly will find your daughter opposing the hard choices you have ahead. Hopefully the law will take care of him and he will be prosecuted, especially with the evidence you have. I would suggest a move is in order, I don't know how you could live next door to this but if it is out of the question than I hope you avoid confrontation simply because you cannot help your daughter if you are in jail......Very tough to refrain as you see him all the time I am guessing. Keep posting and venting and writing. It is very helpful in clearing out those issues you are facing and will face in the future. Peace be with you.

I am so, so sorry.
Your daughter is not being promiscuous, she is 12 and still a child while this man is definitely a POS, child molester. Thank God you now know. How you controlled yourself had to be divine intervention!
You have been retraumatized, my sister. Please, if you are not already, seek counseling for yourself as well.
Please ask the detective in charge of your case if you (not your daughter, if at all possible) can do a confrontation call with the perp. Getting him to confess on tape can save your daughter from a he said/she said defense. A part of me hopes he kills himself and will spare your family more trauma but at the same time, I would hate to see your daughter further traumatized by a another suicide. It is in no way her fault but will she see it that way?
Please do not see yourself as a failure. Child molesters are not old men in raincoats. They are usually the people who we have trusted. They are master manipulators. They are, to me, the scariest "people" on earth. Please monitor any device that can allow your daughter to have any contact with this monster. She must be feeling so confused, scared. I vividly remember being 12 and the rush of hormones, the intensity of feelings could be overwhelming at times. She is just a child, still, that has been forced into a very adult situation. She may even have feelings for this POS. A warning bell was given that she kept it from you. She cannot protect herself from a predator and that is what you are doing for her. She may resent it at first. Please keep this in mind. The worse part of this nightmare for me has been the total mindf$&k that our perp did to all of us, especially to my daughter.

Agree completely with both cathymathy's and mommybear's responses. I'm sorry mine was so short and flip -- I was short on time, and only had a sec to respond. I posted my first thought, although naturally my concern is with your poor daughter and the impact this will have on her and all in your family. I'm so glad you caught this while she is still young. Wishing you the peace of knowing that this was NOT your fault.

I too thought it sounded like more was going on with the son. I am SO very sorry for your entire family. I agree with all that everybody else said. My first instinct was, get the hell out of that neighborhood, immediately! I think it would greatly impede the healing that you need. It has only been 3 weeks for me since my boyfriend was caught, but just by still living here, even with all of his stuff gone, I can still feel his presence. I am not in any way able to move, and I won't give him the power to make me sell my home. However, you have your husband, and together you can make that move and a new life away from the perversion that has crept into your lives. Thinking of you and sending my support.

None of this is your fault or the fault of your child. You lived next door to what I call MONSTER MANIPULATORS. The sickest of the sick and the lowest of the low. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Please don't be hard on yourself. You didn't know but you know now and you are doing everything right. I understand your feelings of anger and the desire to hurt this man. I felt this way about my own son. It is a normal instinct of a loving parent. Surround yourself with support. We are here for you.

A big hug, Laura

Extra big hugs to you all. You have done nothing wrong. Those neighbours ars the sickest of the sick. They will have to stand before their eternal judge one day and nothing can protect them from that. You sound as though you are doing your best and making wise decisions under very difficult circumstances. It is a good thing that you did not physically get to that sob. Is there something else you could do to vent? Maybe write a letter and then burn it.

Will be praying for you as you face some difficult decisions this week. You are all being very brave.

I'm so sorry . I agree move into another neighborhood. It's important for healing purposes that you live somewhere else. How could you have known ... If only we all would have known.

Thanks to everyone for the support!! It has been a saving grace for me!! We are currently out of town right now and are waiting until tomorrow when she sees a forensic investigator. I know that my baby has done nothing wrong. She is an innocent, confused and broken little girl!! He manipulated her after his sick POS of a father messed her little mind up. I know that she can be helped!! She is very strong and very smart!! She has become good at manipulation and the investigator told us Saturday night that she could tell that she was hiding something when the son's name was mentioned to her. I found the texts between him and her and nearly passed out!! To add to this, the POS is dating an 18-year-old!! (He is 29!!) It is killing me not to tell the father of this girl because he has 2 younger daughters as well!! I don't want this POS around those girls, too!! We know the family of those girls and I wanted to tell the dad, but the investigator told me not to until after Tuesday!! OMG!! It is taking everything in me not to tell this man. The investigator does not want the perp to know that he has been caught until they have a warrant to arrest him. Telling the dad would jeopardize that!! He is a firefighter and the investigator knows him well so she said that she would keep a lookout for his girls. I don't know if she just told me that to comfort me so that I would not tell. I just am so torn because I would want someone to tell me if my children were in danger. Make sense? My husband told me that we have to worry about our child right now and to let the police handle everything else. He is right. I just worry about the other family that he is involved with. I hope that we can move very, very soon!! It is just too much!!

Holy Hell your family landed in a wasps nest!
You poor mama, husband n babes.
I cannot imagine firefighter dad not finding out about daughters bf once bf arrested...
Sending love and prayers your way.