parents of sexually abused children Community Group
This group is to help parents of sexually abused children. While our children's needs always come first, we forget that we need help too. This group is here to help. I myself have children who is victims of sexual abuse and struggle daily, with it. Please join to help support one another.
It took months for me to join this group but I need all the help I can get. My daughter was sexual abused for 2+ years by a close family member. I found out in July 2022 and ever since then it runs through my mind every morning, night and in between. I'm trying my best to heal but the pain is unbearable, especially knowing my daughter is not getting the help she needs. I been trying different ways to help her but she just wants to forget. She doesn't want to go to authorities, seek help or talk about it. My therapist said not to force her and I'm respecting her decision but it's tearing me about that this monster is "free".
Most the stories on here mention the abusers being locked up or waiting for trials (which is awesome) but who is fighting a silent battle like me?? Who else has to see their kids molester and can't say anything about what they done?? I don't know what to do or say. I don't want to do or say the wrong thing and lose my child from suicide. Who can give me advice on how to heal and not be angry during this silent war?? Who can give me advice to help my child not to be resilient??
Sorry, I know it's a lot (which isn't ALL of the problems) but I do thank you all for reading and responding. Every story breaks my heart but it feels good that I'm not alone.
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Middy is off for a bit so if anyone needs a CL please just give me a shoutSending a big hug...xo
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I was sexually assaulted as a kid. I find it hard to accept that another person's actions caused me so much harm. He made bad choices and now I am paying the price. Stupid PTSD!
I was molested at age 5 at a family picnic, spent many years being beat up and being a human punching bag at school, for most of my years of school…
Looking back, I don’t think we had the resources or the will to help boys of sexual abuse..most of my abuse was in the 80’s and 90’s…
The thoughts of self harm and suicide was an everyday thing.. I did a lot of self harm… I figured no one wanted to help, even though I was in counseling for many many years.. my mom tried to figure out what happened… I didn’t tell her and dad till I was in my mid 20’s.
My recommendation is, if your daughter is under 18, please consider reporting it.. there are normally funds out there to help survivors, and for her to learn she’s not alone, and to hear from others who have been hurt in similar ways ( no one is 100% the same.. took many years for me to figure that out) but to know someone to talk to who actually knows and maybe understands what she’s thinking, dealing with, who isn’t immediate family, sometimes really helps..
she may feel she needs to protect you… she may have so much anger built up inside that she doesn’t know how to vent, how to cry, how to deal with it.
You have a lot of strength in you, it takes something strong to post here, and hope that someone reads it, and even more, someone to respond.
You are among others here who have survived some terrible things, yet we are here to share and help. I know I am.
I understand you wanting to honor her wishes, sometimes as a parent, we need to step in and attempt to guild our kids in a better than they know direction…
I’m here if you want to talk, ask questions, vent, scream, yell, or anything else..
Hang in there. You and your daughter are much stronger than either of you think..
remember, neither of you are alone…
Notalone00
First I would like to apologize for your trauma. It takes a fckin warrior to go through what you did in silence. My daughter was silent for almost 2 years before she disclosed her abuse.
It’s so hard as her mom to feel like I’m not doing what I should be doing. I want her to heal! I want want her to get help! I want her to get justice!! She’s so scared that he’ll get away with it if we tell the authorities. How do you convince a sexual abused child to “speak up” when we have a messed up system?? How can I make a decision to report it when it can literally kill her? I’m so scared she will if I betray her and report it.
I guess my Que to you is……What do you think I can tell her for her to to consider reporting it?
That’s so tragic to go through that and the system failed you all. I believe that’s more of the reason why my daughter does not want to report it.
As for the sexual preditor, they are NOT GOING TO STOP with your daughter. There will be other victims in the future and may already be victims in their past. SOMEONE needs to turn them in. I know this is hard. I totally understand. Do the right thing and safe another child from this monster.