Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of toddlers (1 to 3 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
Does anyone have any ideas as to do to reinforce positive behavior? I figured thats why he is always misbehaving because we ONLY give him attention when he's bad and never when he's good. So the thing is I need to figure out what all to do to reinforce good behavior. I give him candy, let him play in the pool, give him juice. (We cant afford juice all the time its mostly just water thats why its a treat) but we tell him if he's good he'll get this stuff and he is just constantly "i want it Im being good" every second constantly and we have explained to him that bugging us like that is Not being good. he'll be saying it 60 times a minute if you get me. You can say your being good all you want it doesn't mean you are. He is a very smart boy he does understand it but sometimes he just gets in these bad moods where he wants what he wants when he wants it and will kill us over it. I have to come up with some other ideas to start off slow. To be honest the reason is because he is 3 and he's lived 2 1/2 of those years at his grandmother's house and over there they have three kids his age, including him and they ignore the kids unless they do something that disturbs them. Its something he is used to and I want to change it. I really need ideas on how to start slowly.
Just when you see him doing something wrong, tell his why its wrong and explain a different way he could handle it.
Try not to say don't, stop, no alot. Try other things like wait, hold on, unless they are in a dangerous situation then yelling no of course.
If he is not playing with a toy or gets frustrated and can't explain why he is mad either if he doesn't know how to tell you or is crying...say his feeling to him... I know your mad because......, but why don't we try to.....
I got a handbook for parents and teachers to be on the same page about disiplining there kids. it made alot of sense.
I posted alittle about it a couple weeks back. I will see if I can find it.
good luck
1. We yell yaaaay and clap our hands. She will clap with us and laugh. Sometimes when she is sitting on the floor hitting the dog, then realizing what she is doing, and start petting him she will give herself a clap and a laugh without us starting it.
2. We do high fives. If she does something positive we hold up our hand and say, that deserves a high five. She knows that high fives are only given when asked for, and that you only hit on a hand. This one we do less just in case one day she decides to use it as an excuse to hit, but so far so good. Plus, she can't do this one to herself.
But we do spend alot of time with her, repeatedly showing her what is good. We take her hand and show her how to pet the dog, we show her how to stroke hair and not pull, we let her know when things hurt and show her the opposite of what she was doing feels better.
We use the word no. It's how she knows she is doing something wrong. Just like when she has something she shouldn't have we say ta. She listens to no, and if she's about to do something she knows is a no and doesn't, she gives herself a hand and a yay!
Clapping, YAY!!!, and being genuinely excited for your child is the only thing you need to do for positive reinforcement. DD has not grabbed the concept of high fives yet, although we are trying. She'd rather put her hands around mine and make them clap together.
I refuse to offer food, sweets, or gifts as a direct reward. It leaves too much room for it to grow into a monster of its own. My daughter gives a bigger reaction when I clap for her than when I plop a new toy in her lap. Food is a necessity- don't make it into something to be good or bad over. :o)
I'm proud of you!
Great job!
Your awesome!
Well done!
You did it!
Nice try!
And when they are being good! THATS when you jump on it and say your doing wonderful! Your being very GOOD right now. It takes time, but they will get it. You'll see. Sometimes it is easy to ignore them when they are being good cause its your brake. lol but thats the time you need to tell them and you dont have to be all cheery just say ... VERY GOOD "his name" Your being very good. :)
Great website for a list of things to say!
I think simple things like spending time playing, giggling, reading, coloring, singing, rough housing...I would also tell him what you like about his behavior such as " I like how you are sitting there quietly" for example. Good luck!