It could be just the school, or that the teachers are not well trained. Many private schools use approved corriculum but there "teachers" don't even have a degree. This is something I would look into. It could be that this teacher simply does not have the training needed to understand children and their behavior. Public school children may seem less disiplined, (*not a huge fan of public school since mine is ranked the 6th worse in the nation) BUT our does have one teacher for every ten kids so that they are better able to handle them. Also there are specialists available at the schools. Most private schools to not offer any types of intervention like PT, OT, Speech, and Special Ed.


But you are right that it doesn't sound like true ADHD since he can control himself at times. I wouldn't give in to the preasure to medicate either.

Is his behavior affecting his academic performance, or is it just a matter of having order in the classroom? If you had him in public school you could ask that a child study be done on him.

It is possible he has a learning disability or some other issue besides ADHD. Or he might just be behind as far as wanting to sit still and listen to the teacher.

I think the important thing is to evaluate if there are any disconnects between school and home. Is he bringing home his homework? Is he organized? If it is just a matter of improving certain study skills or organization habits so he does his homework regularly then usually the school and the parent can work together to HELP the child, not label the child. Sorry to go on so, I really don't know the details of your situation.

good greif another teacher diagnosed student its really a sad idea , what is this all coming to , they get higher wages assistants to help them and smaller classrooms and they still point difficulties at the students (they blame students) I know a 53 man on the ADHD community who wrote that he is glad teachers are now able to recognize ADHD and he finds it sad that when he was a child he had to put up with comments written on his reports "could do better does not apply himself" complaining that it did nothing for his self esteem , well my answer to that is , its really sad that at 53 years old he was diagnosed with ADHD and also sad and shameful that teachers can still get away with that crap of blaming students when really it should read "teacher could do better does not apply his/herself" The whole principal of teachers pushing or diagnosing ADHD or any other mental handicap is VERY wrong for the simple reason that the source it is coming from is mere conflict of interest (the teacher)thus putting whole communities into the ignorance of psychiatric drug induced children to force them to behave ...at one time it was the strap at the principals office , or the yard stick across the head now it is an acceptable method by parents to use mood altering drugs instead of physical violence (I don't condone either). Do cildren not reach out and express themselves at this tender age and to have them tamed by drugs could be a sick idea or concept ...hopefully these children will manage to sue teachers , parents and society for such sick practices . I'm sure this will be the case in the future its gone way overboard and not just a useful thing for the very few children who may need these drugs but it is now reached epic proportions ,common and normal to have ADHD or one of any mental illness to the tune of 25 out 25 children in every classroom across North America . We are living in time where the value of drugs has become something of a human performance issue ...its really sad I think .

If he did well under a sub and then, suddenly, started having problems when his regular teacher came back, it is, without a doubt, his Teacher who has a problem.
I really wouldn't worry too much about making the teacher uncomfortable. She wants you to medicate your child because SHE can't handle him. While medications can be useful in children who need them,medicating a regular little boy who simply has lots of energy is the equivilant of asking you to poison him.
A change of scenery for him sounds like a really good idea if you can do it.
I'll always have trouble understanding why my parents didn't remove me from my 2nd grade teacher who had zero tolerance of Normal behavior.
I'll bet Her least favorite student still has social problems from being singled out and punished daily in front of the whole class.
Say "No" to bad Teachers!

Medicating a child should be the absolute last option. Today we are to quick to anesthetize ourselves so as not to deal with the world around us and unfortunately we are passing this on to our children. If he has no behavioral problems in other situations the chances are the problem is the teacher. Remember that no one knows your child better than you, Have confidence in that and you will make the right decision.

I agree..I would definitely consider changing either A)homeschooling or B)Removing him from that class. I would not allow them to medicate simply b/c the teacher cannot and will not handle a vibrate, energetic boy! I have a son who is wired to the gill, completely normal 100% boy; he has difficulty in class being wild but his teacher is great and is continually working with me to find a solution (rewards, etc) that will help keep him focused! Please, do not worry about offending teachers, they must know that your child comes first in your life, trust me and then they will tone it down a bit and start either working with you. I have had to do several times with my children but I will not have bad teachers trying to handle and teach my kids. Good luck and stand your ground with them. Hugs

Sounds like his teacher is not very compassionate toward him.

If you have a psyc and a subs. teacher that have seen successes with him then all concerns point to the teacher/student relationship.

My son had a teacher with a bad rap with boys (but with girls...totally different story) How could a teacher be that way? Long story....but in the end my son didn't take what she dished out. He did it in a respectful way and I stood behind him. I went to the principle with her comments on papers and some pretty unbelievable evidence of her abuse. The next year was more of the same but far worse with other students......She is no longer there.

Stand behind what you believe in with your son. Keep your eyes open and be objective but nobody should have that kind of control in your son's life to affect him like that. DO NOT ALLOW IT!!

We had to go down that road....feel free to contact me about it. It was the hardest thing I have ever done b/c I am not a complainer but I will do anything for my kids.

when it come to our child mother know best. to me it sounds like the teacher don't like your child. if your child is still in school try helping to teacher for a bout two weeks on and off this will throw the teacher off and i am almost + she will change her teaching style to meet your needs of your child when she is dealing with him. good luck

Please remember that a lot of teachers are parents as well and they do judge your children and compare them to the behavior they wish to see from there children. We all have our problems as parents and just because a teacher feels that medication is what she feels is right doesn't mean it is.

There are sooom many good books out there on approaching this question. The strategies can help all types of kids, there may be some ways to build in more success.

But in the end, perhaps consider the value of a trial of stimulant medication. ONE stimulant medication (not a combo) has years of study behind it, it is a night/day effect, either it will make a HUGE difference for your child, or not. If not needed, you have your answer. If it does help, it can be a stepping stone to building in better habits, and then removed.

The teacher makes a difference, as well as the classroom make up. Your child is at a crucial age. Do consider all options for next year. be the squeaky wheel about what your child needs in a teacher, for mine it's 'organized, firm, and kind.'

I have high hopes for you all. I moved to change school district, and it made all the difference in the world. My daughter is thriving, and it's a relief and a delight! rooting for you ~~~

Thanks everyone for the replys and advice. We got his achievement test results and he is in the upper 3% nationally in reading and upper 5% in everything else. He always did well with the substitute teachers who challenged him.

We are moving him to a school closer to home and I have already spoken with the school principal and just seeing his grades and test scores she has said that they will probably look at putting him in the 5th grade for half of the day then back with his peer group for the afternoons. She believes as well that any classroom problems he has had have come from the teacher as well and they have 4 fourth grade teachers to match his needs to. and only a 1-13 student teacher ratio.

I am thrilled and looking foward to next year. he is spending alot more time this summer with kids his own age so it will be a real good summer. Going camping with the boyscouts next week.

As a special education teacher for a large urban public school district and also a mother of a non-medicated ADHD 8 year old- I would suggest going in to his classroom for some classroom observations. If yu dont have a lot of time just try to even pop in to check how things are going frequently.

It sounds like a difficult situation your in-the teacher and student too. Parents who give support to teachers by supporting them and communicating their thoughts constuctively-even if they dont agree-are ALWAYS a plus in my classroom. It shows the child that we are all working together to have success at school. That might improve everyones behavior!:)
Good luck!