I've started my own Facebook support group called Overcoming Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Here's a link if interested. https://www.facebook.com/groups/163756444347226/

I am new here also. Ginogag your story son sounds similar to mine. My son is 14 and was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in 1st grade. I also suspect ODD to since is always angry and loses his temper very easily He purposely annoys everyone and is always getting in trouble. He has always been a challenging child from day one. He ALWAYS is purposely trying to make his dad and i as well as his 3 other siblings mad. Each of your posts describes him and ours lives like a T. He is only this way at home which is a good thing but still incredibly frustrating. Every year I think maybe he will “mature” but it only seems to get worse. He is extremely immature to the point i wonder if we should have held him back in school, he will be a freshman. Part of us wants to send him to a military school just so he may appreciate us more. His siblings cannot stand to be around him because of the way he is. We tried a family vacation only to cut it short because we were all miserable. For the most part we are a very close family except for my son. It kills me.
We were forced to change psychiatrists last year because ours moved out of state and now i feel like we are not getting as good of care. We tried therapy once and it did not go well. We talked about it again but he refuses to go. We are at wits end.
I am interested in trying GABA but have no idea what brand is a good brand, any suggestions?

Oh my goodness where to begin.. i just joined this group.. our son was diagnosed with ODD about 8months ago. He is 9. We have been dealing with it for the past 4years though. I cried tjrough your entire post because thats exactly how i fell!! Im relieved to know im not the only one

Yourestillamystery....Hey there! Of course you can post it here. I've actually started a Facebook support group. Here's a link if interested. It's a support group full of what's worked for us...what hasn't and parenting tips and just overall encouragement. https://www.facebook.com/groups/163756444347226/

This really hit home for me, and as others brought tears to my eyes. I feel like a failure and hoping to find some support with this group. my daughter is 7 almost 8 and everyday has been a battle, she hits me and pushes all my buttons....Hopefully we can all help each other! I see your post is from last year, have you had any successes you can share with us?

carter2018....YES!!! much success...you can follow our journey in my facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/163756444347226/

I cant tell you how comforting it is to know there are others out there to talk to. I am sorry, of course, that you are all going through the same type of stuff. It is extremely difficult and no one really gets it if you aren't actually going through it. Don't you love it when someone tells you, oh you just need to do this or that...and you're sitting there thinking "really?????" It's frustrating. I just nod my head...I can't even address those comments. It isn't worth it. I have an 11 year old son who has ADHD and ODD. It started when he was just a little guy. We had him evaluated when he was around 4 years old by his pediatrician, as well as a behavioral specialist. It was so hard to determine at that young of an age because the doctors kept telling us, "he's being a boy" and other varieties of the phrase. We always knew that it wasn't just him "being a boy" but our hands were tied. We tried special diets and charts and all sorts of disciplinary tactics over the years. He was eventually diagnosed with ADHD and a couple years ago, we ended up starting him on medication for the hyperactivity. I really felt guilty medicating him, but it started taking a huge toll on his education and his ability to maintain friendships. We are still trying to get the dosage and type of medication just right, but I can tell you, when he is on his meds he is a completely different kid. And I dont mean he turns into a zombie or anything like that. He is just able to slow down and see his surroundings, rather than going 150 miles an hour. I will never forget the first time I saw him actually sit at a 4th of July parade and I just couldn't get used to it. He was just sitting in the chair actually watching the parade. It might sound silly, but he had NEVER done something like that before. EVER. I was feeling very hopeful until the ODD started getting more prevalent. In the last couple years it has gotten to the point where I get nervous at times for my safety. I would never have thought he would do anything physical, but there have been several instances where I have needed to restrain him and it is getting very difficult since he is 5'4", 120 lbs. He is a big boy. The only way to describe it is Jekyll and Hyde. One moment he is totally fine and then next minute he is screaming, crying, flailing his arms and legs. It is completely unpredictable. This morning I was trying to get him out of bed to get ready for school and he didn't want to. He has a loft bed, so I was standing at the foot of it and started to pull the sheets down. He started flailing and yelling so I gave him a minute. I came back and tried again and he scooted down closer to the end of the bed and flat out tried to kick me in the face. I was so upset, I cried all the way to work this morning. It is so hurtful and I cant help but thing to myself, if he will do that to his mother, what about a stranger or a peer?? It's not just the physical stuff either. He is extremely disrespectful towards my husband and I. He tells us he doesn't care about our rules. There is nothing that seems to affect him when taken away. We tell him he is grounded and he doesn't care. We have never had much success disciplining. When he was 6, we had him sit on the stairs in time out until he could apologize for something he had done. He sat there for 45 minutes before we finally threw in the towel. Just so tired of the constant anxiety of starting a new school year or going to a birthday party or having a baby sitter. We are always worried that he is going to lash out in some way. Always anticipating there will be a problem. We just want to be able to go one day without a battle. It is mentally and physically draining. I wont keep going on and on, but basically our journey continues. It's just nice to know that there are other people to talk to. We will be starting him on regular visits to the therapist. Tried already but the woman we had him seeing wasn't the right fit, so hopefully this time around will be more successful! I wish you all the best. Sorry that this was kind of all over the place! It's been one of those days...

@Beautywillrise - thank you for openly admitting that there were times (and may still be from time to time) that you didn't even want to be around your daughter. For years - - YEARS I struggled with thinking about how horrible it sounds for a mother to say she doesn't even want to be in the same room as her own child. What kind of mother, who nurtured and grew this precious life inside her could now say she couldn't stand them?! I often find myself telling my son to 'leave me alone'. Usually because I can no longer take the deluge of awful, hateful, ugliness that he has dished out for hours. Yet I still felt/feel ashamed. I am getting better at acknowledging that I DESERVE better. Just because this is my child my expectations of what I am and am not willing to tolerate in terms of how I am treated, are no different. I am really working on not sounding so hateful. I am getting better at calming stating that I have taken enough abuse for one day and I'd like some time to myself. It does make me so incredibly sad though. I want nothing more than to be a part of his world. To be his friend, his confidant, his protector, his mentor, and his role model.

I find my hope in the fact that I was him - - I have done ALL the things he has done and said all the things he has said. I damaged relationships with friends and family, sometimes irreparably. I am not that person now though, but it has taken me the better part of my life to not be. It has to come from within. All we can do is lay the foundation and even though they are actively trying to destroy it, know that while they are...they are constantly on it.

Well all I can say is thank you! Thank you for making me feel not alone. I sat here and read your post and got the chills and just balled. I felt like I was writing and I couldn't believe there was anyone else in this whole world who felt the way I did. My daughter too is 10 but was diagnosed about 2 ears ago and we have been going to therapy for 3 years. I sooooo relate to everything you wrote and want you to know you are not alone. Again thank you so much. I am looking forward to making connections in this group and attaining the feeling that I am not alone.

I've started a Facebook group...Overcoming Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Here's a link if you're interested.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/163756444347226/

I just joined a week ago. I am so glad I did.
I am going through this with my 13 year old and Its been extreme for most of rhe past 18months. She is the oldest of my twins and she is 1 of 6. I have read and watched maybe 100 hours of info on a strong willed child. I never knew this disorder existed. Thank you all-I love this site

I am SO glad I found this group. My heart feels ripped out reading your post because you could be inside my head right now. It so perfectly describes how I’m feeling and thinking.

I've finally found my people! My girl is also 10. She is on meds for anxiety but that's separate from the ODD. It's so enraging to hear her teachers an relatives tell me what an absolute pleasure she is. I'm a SAHM married happily to her dad for 12yrs. She has my undivided attention, is the only child, and is surrounded by positive relationships, complete honesty, an progressive ideals, so how is it that I am raising a liar, manipulator, and an abuser. I receive treatment for my anxiety an OCD but I beat myself up worrying that I did this because as they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I have a 9 year old with odd and because someone rang cyfs I now have them saying he is in need of care and protection because he is likely to be emotionally abused or neglected. The young straight out of uni social worker has no idea what parenting entails let alone the daily struggles of a child with odd. They have made me out to be a terrible parent and belittled me. Most days I have to force myself out of bed as I don't want to face the tantrums and defiance. Dentist said I have to clean his teeth as getting cavities another thing to battle over.

This post, along with all of the parents replies touched me. Ive experienced the same feelings, and occurrences for the past couple years. I completely know what you mean. I just cry, a lot. My own blood pressure has been elevated to the point where Im now on 2 meds. I worry because my daughter, who just turned 14, has turned my house upside down for everyone in it, including her 3 other siblings.

We have went through "talk therapists" over the years. Her recent stunt has lead her to a psychiatric hospital. She was once believed to have ODD, but now thinking it may be something else. They are suggesting meds, Depakote (mood stabilizer), and Seroquel (anti-psychotic)

Im scared, confused, and not knowing if those are the best options. Im caught between 2 worlds where some are telling me prayer, and change diet, others say meds and therapy. I feel like we may need all of the above. I just know that I don't know what to do anymore. Im desperate, but don't want to "mess" her up more with meds that I know nothing about , that also have terrible side effects.

God help me, help us all.