Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
Hello everybody. As someone who has been on this site for a little over two years, I have noticed an increase in members in the OCD support group. I think it might be good if we could introduce ourselves and say a little bit about the type of thoughts and rituals that plague each one of us.
I think it is about time that we come together as a group of people and help one another out. Let's make this group and safe and happy place where we all can feel comfortable sharing our thoughts.
I think it is about time that we come together as a group of people and help one another out. Let's make this group and safe and happy place where we all can feel comfortable sharing our thoughts.
well where do I start. I have had OCD my entire life and I have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
I have a lot of unwanted intrusive thoughts about harming my family or myself, like when I see knives or guns, or the news or horror films it triggers my ocd and I start thinking what if I could do those horrible things? I know this is illogical and is my ocd so I try to tell myself that.
I also do a lot of counting, checking, and cleaning stuff. I have to continuously mess with my alarm clock before I go to bed because I am afraid I will wake up late and not make it to class.
I also have to check the doors, faucet handles, light switches, stove knobs, etc a few times and "make sure" they are turned off.
I also repeat the words "off off" when I do those things.
The most painful part of my ocd is the unwanted intrusive thoughts about harming my family. I also have sexually unwanted intrusive thoughts and I am so scared of them, that I avoid all of my triggers.
I know these things are illogical and it is my ocd, I do see a psychiatrist and that is helping. I am on luvox 150mg and ativan 0.5mg.
thank you for listening.
*hugs*
We seem to have a lot of common. I do a lot of similar checking rituals such as checking the alarm clock. I think the worse thing in the world is for me to be late to class.
I guess I will introduce myself too. I deal a great amount with contamination issues. Although that is my most problematic thing, I also have trouble with checking, scrupulosity, harmful thoughts, and symmetry.
Katie: this makes a great discussion.
I have never been to a psychiatrist and I have never been officially diagnosed with anything, however I am pretty certain that I have OCD. Here's what I do:
First of all, I have Trichotillomania (hair pulling). I'm not sure when I started pulling out my eyelashes, but I know that it was at least 12 years ago. There are debates as to whether or not this is an OCD trait, or if it is an Impulse Control Disorder trait. I can see in my case how it would be a trait of OCD: My eyes have to be symmetrical. If there is a gap in the eyelashes somewhere on one eye, I have to make a gap in the same place on the other eye. There are rituals to Trich, just like OCD. Here are some of mine: When I pull, I never just reach up and pull, I first rub my fingers over the lashes for hours upon hours, pushing the tips of them up into my eyelid (this is called petting). I only pull one at a time. When I pull that one, I first look at it, then I rub the end of it on my lips. If I am in bed or away from any hard surfaces (such as the wall or mirror), I just throw it away after rubbing it on my lips. If I am around a hard surface, I gently place the root of the hair against the surface (causing it to stick). When I am finally through or interrupted, the surface usually looks like it is growing hair of its own. My final Trich ritual is to wipe the hairs off of the surface so that no one sees. Trich is a big secret for most of us.
I also count. I count anything repetitive. I count my steps. when the fan is on, I count the "clicks". a dog barks, I count how many times. If there is a pattern somewhere, I count how many times it is repeated. If I am interrupted from counting, or I run out of whatever it is I'm counting, I often feel disappointed, as if I wasn't through and I still WANTED to count.
I make lists. Mostly To-Do Lists and What-To-Pack lists. These lists are very detailed. The To-Do lists include the time to start each item, and the time to end. If I get through with something early, I immediately do the next thing, just in case I didn't allot for enough time to do that one. The What-To-Pack lists are subdivided: makeup, hair, clothes, bathroom, misc. I write things on both lists that should be common sense. To Do Lists include such things as "use the bathroom", "brush teeth", "go to sleep"... What To Pack Lists include things like "Panties", "Toothbrush", "Birth-control". If I don't make these lists, I feel lost, or I feel like I am forgetting something. When I do make the lists, I double-check many, many times. As I am making the lists, I must use pen. I hate pencils. If I mess up, there is no crossing out, I MUST start over. I never make it with the first list I start on. Even if there are no mess-ups, I still must make a new one, with the events or items in a more logical order.
When I was in high school, I kept every note that anyone gave me. At the top of the note, I would write the name of the person who gave it to me, and the date. When I got home, I would store it in a file-folder in alphabetical order of the last name of the person who gave it to me. I kept that folder even after I graduated, until when my mom helped me move out of the trailer I was living in, she threw it away. I have trouble throwing things away. I'm so scared that I am going to need something after I throw it away.
I am huge about symmetry. I need everything to be equal or else I cannot take my attention away from it.
My mind gets "hooked" on thoughts. I'm not sure if that's something you would consider intrusive thoughts...considering they are not always bad. Some of them ARE bad, and they do come out of nowhere. My most common intrusive thought is that of the paper-cut. By all means, I am not scared of getting a paper-cut, but for some reason this thought comes into my mind and it plays and replays like a video that I cannot turn off. It is simple of a paper sliding across skin, slicing it. When I have this thought, I can almost feel it....and it makes me wince...over and over until finally something else makes me think of something different.
I suffer from serious jealousy. I think this is due to intrusive thoughts. I can't get the thought of my boyfriend cheating on me out of my head. I know that it is not going to happen, I know that he loves me very much. When I get a thought, I cannot shake it, and it just gets worse and worse until we have a blow out about it. Even worse, and I have never told him or anyone else about it...but I have intrusive thoughts about him and his mother... They are very close, best friends. Sometimes I get this idea that they are sexually interested or active with each other, even though I know with everything that that is a very absurd and illogical to think that...but I cannot shake it. I love his mom like she is my own, but it's like in my intrusive thoughts they are both someone different than who I know.
I'm not going to go into all of the other intrusive thoughts that I have, I'm sure this post is long enough. Hope I didn't bore you. Thanks for listening.
My intrusive thoughts and anxiety have gotten much worse over the last few months and now I find myself uncomfortable around certain people I love including my children. I am confronting this illness for the sake of my family and my own happiness. My children need me and I can't continue to push them away because of my fear.
I don't have a lot of compulsions although I do have some. I pick at my skin and I obsess over time and order. I also avoid situations that give me anxiety, which I know is counter-productive.
My goal is to overcome these fears, and allow myself to be me without my own judgment getting in the way. I want to hold and hug and kiss my babies without worry of becoming a sex-offender. I want to love my family, and friends without obsessing over the appropriateness of the relationship.
I am here on this site, not for therapy or professional help- which I pay good money for, but for support in knowing I am not the only one going through these things.
I get so afriad of not being able to graduate that I literally make myself sick.
I want to have this degree so bad, and I know this is my ocd that makes me doubt myself. I get so mad at myself because I can't remember everything I have learned. but I try to realize this is human nature and we can't know everything. I know logically I won't know everything there is to know about my field of study.
But I do try to know something and I study a lot. I am starting to accept that I cannot know everything about my field of study.
I think this is the part of the ocd that I fight with most constantly.
*sigh*
I know I will get better tho, just as we all will
*hugs to all of you*
This is something about myself that I can laugh at and it doesn't usually bring me too much anxiety.. =)
Used2bme - the lists don't bother me too much either, and they are actually a big help most of the time...but my mom used to always make fun of me for them too. I make grocery lists as well, complete with an estimated price of each item. List of the bills and their due dates and their totals. I don't think it was the lists that my mom was making fun of, I think it was just the complexity of them.
I so understand where you are coming from, I feel the exact same. It is like I can never be good enough for myself. I feel so bad when I don't do good in a certain section, but I try so hard to realize that I cannot know everything. and yes it does drive me CRAZY! ahhh.
I hate that you have to go through this too. I wish there was something I knew how to do about this particular worry problem.
*sigh*
but at least we all have eachother!
*HUGS*
I am glad you wrote this. If you read my post "making this site more informative" that was what I was trying to say, but it kicked off some arguing, which wasn't my intent. My OCD started in childhood. I first was scared of choking (after choking on a bone), so I avoided going out to eat on the weekends, I would stay with my grandparents. Then I got scared one night and for my whole 7th grade year I had to have a bottle of water with me at all times. I got over that and in my 11th grade year I got scared that I had cancer. I obsessed and obsessed, I didn't know what I was experiencing, but I did think I was going crazy. I then went into the military and did 6 years. Got out and went to college, got my bachelors degree in business. After that I started a career and I have been sucessful in it. I have two kids and have been married for 13 years. However, in April I had a panic attack from an obsession. From that time forward I obsessed and got depressed that I was getting back to the way I was when I was a teenager. I didn't find out that I was OCD until July. This revelation has helped as now I am seeking proper treatment. Currently I obsess about suicide and mental illness. I found out that distant family members (3) killed themselves in the past (1960's and 1980's), I never knew them. Once I found that out I began to obsess what if i ever did that, and is there evidence of a genetic link for suicide. I ran that thought down for a few months, until I was advised by my counselor that running it down only fuels it. He advised me to embrace the thought and we are approaching it weekly. I currently am writing out the word suicide, schizo, anxiety etc. I also put them on recordings and 3x5 cards. We will eventually get to making detailed recordings of committing suicide and going crazy etc. The key for me is to accept the possibility and by doing so it loses steam. I hope you can get everyone together for a common goal, because some changes are needed for this site.
Good luck
I live in Stockholm, Sweden.
Sweden has one of the best (if not they best) healthcare systems in the world which I'm so thankful for right now.
I have been diagnosed with OCD/Depression and panic attacks for 6 years now but signs of my OCD started when i was 17 (28 now) I have managed to lead an amazing life so far.
I have some very minor outward compulsions like reading everything i see and touching certain materials but mostly i have obsessions and mental rituals to prove my obsessions wrong.
In my early years i was some what of a party animal and took a few too many drugs which has probably contributed to my mental state now.
I've back packed around the world, seen some amazing sites :D
I'm a happy guy generally but we all know how fast that can change.
Been taking 75mg Efexor for 4 years, completely removes my depression and helps with the anxiety disorders.
That is really really cool that you backpacked around the world! I have never really traveled much (i'm only 20) but I would love to one day.
I guess you could say that I can't shut down on an idea very easily...
I have MS and smoke a fair bit of pot but when I quit pot for 55 days this winter I think it was worse sort of...anyways I don't have dangerous thoughts or anything like that it just gets a bit mentally challenging that's all...all take care...